The hat thing is something I've witnessed, to the people in that community it was very strange for a female to wear such dress instead of a dress. An hour away and all the females are 'tomboys.' I'm glad you find it a stretch because that makes it a good example
I chose physical traits because their being physical cuts down on some of the wordplay silliness going on. Especially comparing diversity in perceived normality to calling cheese a ghost. I feel like behaviors tend to have physical cues so it would be an easy transition of thought.
I once had a boss that was a lesbian. She had the physical traits we might call 'typical' for that, being more muscular and sporting a short hair cut. She also engaged in activities that are stereotypically in the male domain. She was still very much a woman with what I consider 'typical' female sensibilities and behaviors overall despite her abnormal sexual preference and hobbies. Our district manager, upon discovering her orientation, spread the information to my employees for a later attempt at using any discomfort they might express to fire her.
Her numbers were solid and business was prospering, but valid data about her performance carried less weight than her atypical traits to him. That he also sought out others to justify his actions seems to indicate that it is a socially enforced perspective to me. I could be biased. I spent a number of years teaching small children and it stuck with me that at a certain age they actively point out abnormalities and the unexpected, wanting to know how they should react. Tell them 'that boy is different, stay away from him!' and they go one way. Tell them 'so what, elmo is red and grover is blue. people are different sometimes,' and they go another. I understand that we naturally gravitate to the familiar. I believe that is due to what is comfortable and understood and not necessarily a natural source of animosity or fear. A responsible culture should easily be able to pick up the slack from there.
I sleep in a bed. I love beds. I would not like to eat one. I freakin love chocolate!! I would hate to sleep in it. That would make me very uncomfortable. I have literally no negative slang for or discomfort with chocolate because it would be a terrible experience for me in a certain context. I forgot where I was going with this because I need to finish work, but it is awesome and so I will not delete it.