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World of Warcraft Patch 8.6.7 Build 5309
Update Notes WIP DO NOT RELEASE
April 1, 2019
Companion App Update: Findr
Find your next tank, healer, or damage dealer at a glance with the latest update to the WoW Companion App: Findr. When you open the Findr feature, you’ll be presented with a picture and a brief description of another player, and you can decide whether they’d be the right match for your party. Features include:[*]Glance at a player’s gear and achievement points for 3 seconds (maximum) before making a snap judgment about how well they’ll tank your Mythic Keystone run.
General
Races
Classes
Update Notes WIP DO NOT RELEASE
April 1, 2019
Companion App Update: Findr
Find your next tank, healer, or damage dealer at a glance with the latest update to the WoW Companion App: Findr. When you open the Findr feature, you’ll be presented with a picture and a brief description of another player, and you can decide whether they’d be the right match for your party. Features include:[*]Glance at a player’s gear and achievement points for 3 seconds (maximum) before making a snap judgment about how well they’ll tank your Mythic Keystone run.
- Swipe right to request a match and immediately send a party invitation.
- Swipe left to completely dismiss the player’s entire existence; this is completely anonymous, distancing you from the other player’s growing vortex of self-doubt.
- Once a match has been made, option to not message them right away, which makes it look like you’re super busy and use Findr all the time.
General
- “Shell Game” can now be attempted on Mythic difficulty, featuring a 64x64 grid.
- Following the success of the Comp Stomp PvP Brawl, which allowed a team of AI-controller characters to battle real players in Arathi Basin, we are now allowing teams of AI characters to complete dungeons.
- Riverbud is now legal in Drustvar, Stormsong Valley, and Tiragarde Sound.
- Riverbud remains illegal in Kul Tiras.
Races
- Blood elves now have short-eared cosmetic options.
- The human racial ability that allows you to escape has been renamed. It is now called Every Skinny Kul Tiran for Himself.
Classes
Death Knight (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- New Runeforging trait: Emboss your weapon with the ability to transport you to Bolvar. You should talk to your death dad more often, my dude.
- New Death Knight travel form: Death Leopard
- Blood Death Knights may no longer select the Heartbreaker talent during the Love Is in the Air event, you monsters.
- The Bloody Runeblade Azerite trait can’t believe the news today. Runeblade, Bloody Runeblade.
- Recent alternative healer disciplines have resulted in a resurgence of Virulent Plague.
Demon Hunter (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- Due to a general lack of demons in Battle for Azeroth, the Illidari have begun looking for new sources of souls.
- Insatiable Hunger has been trying out intermittent fasting and is seeing some great results.
- After poor results from a recent structural inspection, all Eye Beams are being upgraded for greater load capacity.
Druid (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- Nobody:
- Blizzard: Druids don’t wear clothing, they just shapeshift themselves to appear like they do.
- Feral Druids can now be crowd-controlled by throwing a slice of cheese on their head.
- Groups of 5 Feral Druids can come together to form one super-bot.
- Due to noise complaints, Stonebark has been fitted with a shock collar.
- Soul of the Forest has been donated to Demon Hunters.
Hunter (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- Hati went to live on a farm with grandpa Rexxar. We promise you, Hati is in a better place.
- Due to safety concerns, Hunter transmogrification options have been limited to armor pieces that are orange in color.
- Pets that meet certain size and weight restrictions may now travel with you on flight paths.
- Survival Hunters may now equip quivers.
- Please stop overfeeding your cat pets. It’s unhealthy for them, even if they’re adorable chonkers.
Mage (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- The Mage class mount has been re-released as a digital download for those without a disc drive.
- Aluneth now responds to voice commands. Examples include:
- “Aluneth, reorder my mats.”
- “Aluneth, set a timer for raid.”
- “Aluneth, play ‘Despacito.’”
- Due to global warming, Glacial Spike is now 20% smaller every year.
- Flame Patch has been renamed to Flame Content Update.
- Blazing Soul has been donated to Demon Hunters.
- Conjure Refreshment now creates Arcanado Toast.
Monk (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- A Brewmaster got into the Whirling Dragon Punch. You should probably take it easy.
- Mist Wrap has been upgraded to Mist Wrap Supreme, which includes sour cream and cheese.
- Dampen Harm has been removed. Harm is damp enough already. You might even call it moist.
- Tiger’s Lust is now rated T for Teen.
Paladin (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- Light of Dawn is now more energy efficient and automatically turns off if you leave the room.
- First Avenger only understood a few of the references in these patch notes.
- Repentance has been renamed “Shame.” It now has 3 charges, which can be reset by ringing a bell.
- Inquisition is now baseline, and activates randomly without warning. No one expects Inquisition!
Priest (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- Knaifu has been renamed “Bae Blade.”
- Bae Blade’s whispers are now more encouraging.
- Bae Blade is now your life coach.
- You can do it, sweetie.
- Last Word is now a mandatory talent choice. You should always try to get Last Word in.
- Auspicious Spirits has been increased. It is now 40% more auspicious.
- Circle of Healing is now available in other useful shapes.
- The Demon Hunters got into Body and Soul, but didn’t quite know what to do with half of it, so it’s just Body now.
- Knaifu has been renamed “Bae Blade.”
Rogue (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- Fan of Knives is no longer suitable for displaying on your bedroom wall at your age, Randy.
- Because you can’t stop being children with abbreviations, Assassination has been renamed. It is now known as “Sneaky Stab Guy.”
- To promote class fantasy, Vendetta has had its cooldown increased by 40 years.
- It’s been almost 15 years and Shadowstrike still reminds you of that one polearm nobody wanted in Molten Core.
- Soul Shadows (Artifact Trait) has been donated to Demon Hunters.
- In an effort to make the Rogue class appeal to a younger audience, Shadow Dance has been given some more modern styles:
- Shadow Yeet
- Shadow Floss
- Shadow Dab
Shaman (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- Shaman totems now come in a tote(m) bag, which you can receive by sending a generous donation to the Earthen Ring.
- Sundering now requires specific garments be worn in order to be used. You must always equip clean Sunderwear.
- Static Charge is now 50% more effective when on carpet.
- Call the Thunder would really like you to start texting instead. It’s 2019.
- Liquid Magma Totem has been renamed Magma Totem, because what other kind of magma would it be?
Warlock (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- Warlocks are refusing to share their souls with Demon Hunters.
- Almost certainly unrelated to the above, several Warlock spells seem to have gone missing:
- Dark Soul
- Soul Conduit
- Soul Strike
- Sacrificed Souls
- Burning Rush
- Soul Fire
- Internal Combustion has been upgraded to electric.
Warrior (Forums / Skills / Talent Calculator)
- slaps hood of Bladestorm YOU CAN FIT SO MANY BLADES IN HERE!
- Warpaint is now available in a wider variety of colors.
- Frothing Berserker is now 67% frothier.
- Protection Warriors with the Safeguard talent have now been signed up for 12 months of credit monitoring.
- Soul of the Slaughter (Artifact Trait) has been donated to Demon Hunters.
- Heavy Repercussions wishes you’d just call it “Repercussions” and stop making references to its weight all the time.
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