Using physical force to punish a kid

[Zalraki]

Well, I have never been beaten, the only time my father raised his hand at me was to slap me because I used a "bad word" to refer to my mother. I have never forgotten or forgiven him for it, because I feel I would have benefited from talking it over with my parents and working out my feelings and thoughts than to resort to violence to silence me. Since that day my trust in my father went to shit and I have never rekindled it.

Oh my, don't you feel special now? You must be the same type of person who stops going to the favorite restaurant because of that 1 time where the waitress didn't say hello to you in the usual way. Oh noes, the person who paid for all your bills, education, food, house and took care of you for all of your life almost hit you that 1 time... He can never be trusted again!

This is a prime example of what kind of people the soft system is producing

[Deleted]

Oh my, don't you feel special now? You must be the same type of person who stops going to the favorite restaurant because of that 1 time where the waitress didn't say hello to you in the usual way. Oh noes, the person who paid for all your bills, education, food, house and took care of you for all of your life almost hit you that 1 time... He can never be trusted again!

This is a prime example of what kind of people the soft system is producing

Interesting that you seem to know so much about a person from one post.

If you have a partner and they work while you stay home taking care of the kids, you'd accept them hitting you? If the power dynamic is off in any way you think it's acceptable to hit someone?

There are ways of raising decent adults without hitting them and recognising that doesn't make a person a weak, attention-seeking dickhead as you imply.

Edit: I was hit as a kid. I don't really resent it and don't have any bad feelings towards my parents for doing it, but I think there are other ways to raise kids that can have equal or more success.

[Dentelan]

If it is spanking with no consequenses, thats normal. I see usually those modern kids running at the mall, screaming, throwing stuff, disturbing everyone, and mothers that do nothing with that. I think harmless spanking to teach kids how to behave atleast in public places is not a crime. But you really need to see line that you should not cross when we are talking about physical punishments.

[Arunu]

The amount of tree-hugging hippies here is just staggering. My brother's wife tried the soft approach with their first son... it just doesn't work. Standing in 'time-out' does not teach children about consequences. So with their second child they went back to the good old fashioned way and that one is growing up normal. I'm using the same normal method on my own daughter. If she does something bad on purpose she's going to know that the consequence of that is a painful spank or slap combined with telling her exactly what she did wrong.

good for you man ! keep hitting them to show them who is boss
Will surely work since they don't have the cognitive function to understand it via talking but a good hit will improve their inferior cognitive skills.

[TEHPALLYTANK]

Children need to face emotional trauma so they can learn how to deal with it.

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Are you really that stupid? Prison is a real thing. It is a concept that needs to be respected. I wish your parents had been effective.

I concur with your first point, but I disagree that the cause of that trauma should come from their parents. People are shitty enough that there are plenty of chances for them to encounter emotional trauma when dealing with peers and other authority figures.

To your second point: Prison in the US is broken and ineffective. Recidivism rates are high because the focus of most prisons isn't on fixing the people who enter prison, it is to profit from imprisoning people. Prison deserves no respect when it isn't instituted with respect.

[Deleted]

I always enjoy it when people who don't have kids start telling parents what they should do.

It's like a cashier telling an pilot how to fly an airplane.

[Deleted]

Oh my, don't you feel special now? You must be the same type of person who stops going to the favorite restaurant because of that 1 time where the waitress didn't say hello to you in the usual way. Oh noes, the person who paid for all your bills, education, food, house and took care of you for all of your life almost hit you that 1 time... He can never be trusted again!

This is a prime example of what kind of people the soft system is producing

Well, no, I'm not that kind of person. I'm the kind of person that tries to understand first, instead of resorting to violence to correct someone. Don't get me wrong, I love my father, I just don't have that kind of unwavering trust towards him anymore.

Also, I would think that just because someone has provided for you doesn't mean they can hit you whenever they feel like it. That's just twisted.

[chewie49]

when you say its ok to (fill in the blank) a kid. replace kid with another category of human being like adult, wife, woman, african america, etc and see if it sounds moral to you. there are experts who study the affects of 'corporal punishment' and release stats. see what those stats say! find and read books about peaceful parenting.

[ablock87]

Just a quick search on google and you can see for yourself.

"A quick search on google" is not an argument. Real-life experience trumps what any sketch "research" will churn out.

Back away from the computer monitor.

I always enjoy it when people who don't have kids start telling parents what they should do.

It's like a cashier telling an pilot how to fly an airplane.

QFT

[Zalraki]

when you say its ok to (fill in the blank) a kid. replace kid with another category of human being like adult, wife, woman, african america, etc and see if it sounds moral to you. there are experts who study the affects of 'corporal punishment' and release stats. see what those stats say! find and read books about peaceful parenting.

It's not just moral... it's the law. Because in this case we're talking about punishing a kid. So yes you can punish any other category of human being. Or would you still try to talk it out with a person as he's breaking into your home?

Stab someone with a knife? Just go stand in the corner until you learned your lesson... let's see how that works

[LiiLoSNK]

I always enjoy it when people who don't have kids start telling parents what they should do.

It's like a cashier telling an pilot how to fly an airplane.

QFT

Reminded me of this. Also, if I don't post this, someone else will:

[Zalraki]

Well, no, I'm not that kind of person. I'm the kind of person that tries to understand first, instead of resorting to violence to correct someone. Don't get me wrong, I love my father, I just don't have that kind of unwavering trust towards him anymore.

Also, I would think that just because someone has provided for you doesn't mean they can hit you whenever they feel like it. That's just twisted.

And there is the big difference which is causing these problems

Normal (smart) child does something bad and gets a slap will understand HE/SHE did something wrong and try to learn from it
Entitled (spoiled) child does something bad and gets a slap will think it's everyone else's fault but him/her and will whine about it to everyone

[LiiLoSNK]

Would you hit a dog for peeing on your carpet? Because that's basically what you are doing when you hit a kid... Only kids can grow up to be psychopaths and dogs can't.

I bet you a million dollars I could go into someone's house and train their dog to use a human toilet using nothing but physical violence.

[LiiLoSNK]

I bet you that too.

But I can bet you that by the end you would have an insanely fucked up dog, just like you would have an insanely fucked up kid.

But my rugs would be piss free.

[Deleted]

And there is the big difference which is causing these problems

Normal (smart) child does something bad and gets a slap will understand HE/SHE did something wrong and try to learn from it
Entitled (spoiled) child does something bad and gets a slap will think it's everyone else's fault but him/her and will whine about it to everyone

You still don't understand what I'm saying. I think hitting a child is wrong, and that it's better to try and explain than to simply silence with a slap. For me, hitting a child is not an option. Hitting anything or anyone under your care is not right, no matter how you try and spin it.

[Trassk]

give the kids spankings they'll behave because they do not want another.

kids these days need them BAD

Pain is a good teacher, if every child that was ever spanked all turned out messed up, then anyone generation before the current one would all be messed up from it.

[LiiLoSNK]

You could also just not get a dog if you want your rugs to be piss free.

Sort of like you can not have a kid if your temper and ego are fragile enough to need to hit them, and then justify yourself forever.

I don't own a dog. I own a cat. I said I could train someone else's dog. A dog I have never even met. And you rightfully confirmed I'd win that bet. Cause I would. Because violence works.

But yea, I'll definitely be beating my kids, should the day come that I decide to claim one/two as my own.

[Deleted]

Reminded me of this. Also, if I don't post this, someone else will:

So people can point and say "You fucked up" when they see a kid in a tree? Or when a kid doesn't score a touchdown??...

In all seriousness, this isn't about seeing a parent who fucked up and calling them out about it, this is about people claiming to know whats best for all children and claiming that what they find is the only way to go forward.

Not 1 single child in this world is the same, there are no manuals on how to raise a kid, there isn't any form of aid. Each child is unique in every single possible way and reacts differently to everything.

[Deleted]

Putting your dick in a girl instead of outside of her = being able to fly an airplane.

What a time to be alive.

This is about raising kids. Not making them.

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Yeah, how dare that pediatrician claim to know whats best for my child. So what If i want to feed my baby nothing but mountain dew and rice krispies?

EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT!

Again, raising a child is not the same as keeping a living organism alive and physically healthy.

You don't think before you scream do you?

[Deleted]

If you can't convince your own child to act a certain way without inflicting violence upon them, then you are a shitty parent and a shitty person.