Relationship Advice? Ex-Girlfriend Started Dating Someone New

[Ealyssa]

as a general rule - If you have to come to MMO-C for help with your relationship, it's already over.
Get over it and move on.

Best advice ever seen here.

[Bae]

Loving all the reactions to this. Most of the people saying get over it and/or she never liked you and liked this guy before she met you are probably nerds who have never had a gf and if they were in this situation would be on their knees in their room pounding on the floor shouting why me what did i do to deserve this.

The answer is simple though (aside from not coming here for advice because this place is full of trolls) Just talk to her about it. You're both adults so ask to talk. Ask her for clarity and see what she says. It's a rebound relationship and thats obvious. Its entirely possible she's doing this to get a reaction out of you. Its what girls do. I've done it plenty of times. Or she just wants to have a laugh with someone else and test the waters. Theres no way shes over you in a week and theres no way she was looking to get out of the relationship to be with this guy. If she was then she wouldn't of agreed to get back together at a later point (If thats really what she said) unless shes a spineless cow.

So either just talk to her about it or play fire with fire. Get someone for yourself and see how she reacts to it.

[Gwiez]

A lot of women do this. They might variate a bit and bring the old "let's just be friends" line or "we aren't in a relationship anymore"...

Some of that is because they are unsure how poorly men will react, like they might go apeshit possessive or vindictive or act juvenile.

OP, you're asking for relationship advice on a gaming forum, so ... yeah. A lot of responses are going to be from bitter incels.

"I found out that she started dating someone else from a friend of mine." We don't know what your friend saw. We don't know what the two of you saw as the different directions of your relationship. We don't know how much you're lying to yourself and about what. Continue with the break as temporary, a week or so isn't going ruin your life if the relationship is already over. If she wants to talk at the end of it, then talk. Be an adult. Whether the relationship is over or your friend misunderstood what they saw (or maybe both), you are capable of having feelings without behaving like a dipshit. It's better to end things without making assumptions. There's people in this thread encouraging you to assume everyone is the least reliable version of themselves. Don't be the least version of yourself.

"Let's still be friends" means I think/hope you are enough descent as a person, but the relationship can't continue to work. It doesn't mean, "let's be friends" or "I'm planning to use you."

[chubbybunny]

Generally if someone says "Let's go on a break", then it's over. Unless it's what the younger generation does these days. When i was first dating in the 70's we'd speak and talk things through not have a "break", if it wasn't going to work, then we'd split up and go our seperate ways, end of..

My advice is to just move on, give yourself sometime to get over the heart ache, go do some things you always wanted to do.. have a holiday or go visit some long distance friends, don't jump straight back in to the dating circle and go after the first person who shows you a bit of interest, at the end of the day you'd only be hurting that person when your heart isn't in the relationship and it's just someone convienent to get rid of your dirty water.. You'd feel bad and so would the person you go with...

time heals, give yourself time, don't look for someone else and eventually you'll bump into someone and *zing* the connection will happen.

[GreenJesus]

Loving all the reactions to this. Most of the people saying get over it and/or she never liked you and liked this guy before she met you are probably nerds who have never had a gf and if they were in this situation would be on their knees in their room pounding on the floor shouting why me what did i do to deserve this.

The answer is simple though (aside from not coming here for advice because this place is full of trolls) Just talk to her about it. You're both adults so ask to talk. Ask her for clarity and see what she says. It's a rebound relationship and thats obvious. Its entirely possible she's doing this to get a reaction out of you. Its what girls do. I've done it plenty of times. Or she just wants to have a laugh with someone else and test the waters. Theres no way shes over you in a week and theres no way she was looking to get out of the relationship to be with this guy. If she was then she wouldn't of agreed to get back together at a later point (If thats really what she said) unless shes a spineless cow.

So either just talk to her about it or play fire with fire. Get someone for yourself and see how she reacts to it.

Well you are pretty much right, but what the fuck did you expect asking MMOchampion? Relationship advice from WoW players? Go ask a Chad on chad.com if you want relationship advice.

[Deleted]

First of all, I hear you. I have been in a very similar situation a few years ago, and my short advice is to focus on something else for a while. A previous poster suggested going to the gym, and I agree with that. Physical accomplishments are great and they really do help with self esteem.

In general, my experience and thoughts are that breaks mostly dont end up in a couple getting back together, at least not in the near future. I know of one situation where the two started dating again after a few years apart, but I dont think that is the normal route. My own experience was this: We took a break, after a few months she started dating an ex-friend of mine (yes, I dont hang out with people who date someone I love(d) when they know how it would break my heart), and I was devastated for a while. I'd say about a month.

Like someone said, there is plenty of fruit in the basket, and while I know this doesnt help you right now, this is the truth. There isnt just one person for you, there is plenty to meet and in the end, when you find someone new, you will not look back on this person and think "How unlucky I was...", no, you will look back and feel really happy about the way things turned out. For me, it took 3 years until I met someone, we are happily married and have been for quite a few years now. I would never give up my current wife for that ex. Time does heal all wounds, maybe you'll be left with a scar and thats ok.

To sum it up, my opinion and experience says this: Accept that its over, or at least try, get busy with something else. Help other people with stuff, like anything. Dont think so much about other women right now, let time pass and do your best to move over it, in the end you will look back at this and ask yourself why you thought it was so bad.

[Kokolums]

Guys are direct. Girls prefer to be indirect and hint at things.

Girls will project their indirect nature onto you. So when you tell a girl that you want to take a break, it is in her nature to think "ok, he is hinting at something and I need to figure out what he really means."

So it is possible that she still really likes you and wants to be with you. If this is the case, then in order to derive your true intentions, she started dating someone else and made sure you learned about it. If you come running back angry and upset that she has a new guy, that tells her you still love her and she will drop the other guy and get back with you. If you don't go running back, she will decide that you were hinting that you wanted a total breakup and she will cry and be upset for some time.

On the other hand, maybe she wanted the breakup or found someone else better. Then running back will not work and she will still reject you. Then you move on.

My advice is if you want her back, you have to run back to her and tell her exactly how you feel, that you truly just wanted a break and are really hurt she is dating someone else and that you want her. If she says no, move on.

It must be noted that she is taking a very foolish risk if she wants you back and is trying to play games. Guys can easily misread that as a total breakup and never return.

[Kathandira]

Hi Guys,

Just want to ask if anyone of you has been through a similar incident and how you coped with it? I need some advice here.

I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years before this, and were pretty much your average couple. She's 25 and I'm 27 and we're both working. I wouldn't claim to have a perfect relationship and we did have our disagreements and fights from time to time. However, we always made it work up till now and I feel that we did have something special with each other. Recently we had a big disagreement regarding the direction of our relationship and eventually decided to take a break to figure things out. We agreed that it wouldn't be permanent and we would meet again to talk about this in about 2-3 weeks. It's been a week since the break up by the way.

She's someone I love very much and I do want to settle down with her. Over the recent weekend, I found out that she started dating someone else from a friend of mine who was equally as shocked as me. Now, I know she's probably in a rebound relationship right now but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt to find out and I don't know what I should be doing right now. Should I talk to her about it? I'm not entirely ready to move on yet since this was supposed to be a temporary break, so I'd like some feedback on whether you guys have been through something similar before and how you handled it?

Much appreciated.

Break = Over. I have never heard of or seen any relationship repair after taking a "Break".

All a break is, is a soft way of ending the relationship. Just pull the bandaid off, and move on.

- - - Updated - - -

Its entirely possible she's doing this to get a reaction out of you. Its what girls do.

Absolutely what girls do. But at 27 years old, it is pretty silly to chase girls, rather than finding a woman.

[petals]

The misogyny is real in this thread.

OP: you need to have a talk with your ex. Give it one more week. Then set up a time. You’re both adults so be an adult here. Your goal in this meeting is to ascertain if there is mutual desire to salvage your relationship. If there is then wonderful. If not that sucks. You will survive and most likely go into better things in the future. If she isn’t the right person for your life ultimately wouldn’t you rather be untethered so that you can meet the right person?

I’ve been there done that. Have the t shirt. Am now with the greatest man I have ever met and am so thankful my past relationships died their deaths so that I was single when I met him.

[Deleted]

I found out that she started dating someone else from a friend of mine who was equally as shocked as me.

Much appreciated.

If she's started to date someone else already, means that she doesn't care about you and your relationship. The take a break was actually a break up.
If you love someone you don't take a break to date someone else.
Best thing to do in my opinion is move on. You'll be sad for a while, depending on you but it's much better than beg for a relationship.
Seems like she's already moving on, so yeah .. find a hobby to fill in all your time and go out with your friends and you'll be alright.

[Deleted]

The misogyny is real in this thread.

Yeah, yeah, because it's his fault his GF "on break" hooked up with another guy right? Because it's not fking courtesy if you are on a break to tell the guy "Dude, I will be going with other people, let's be in an open relationship. Is it ok, if not I'm still doing it!"

Regadless of gender and sexual orientation, what the girl did was douchy.

[potis]

Lol, all the white knighting and colors in this thread.

Its black and white, there is no rainbow.

Huge chance she already knew him before you "got on a break" aka she used to excuse to break it off in a good way, move on with your life, not easy at first but after awhile it is, just focus on something else.

"On a break" literally means "I need to fuck other people" or "I need to check if something better than you exists out there" before i decide if you are good enough.

Its what weak people do, they cant make decisions quickly and they find loop holes to get what they want of equally weak-minded people.

Dont be a weak minded fool, move on.

[Arkura]

First mistake is to even put the relationship on break, you both should have ended it right there. A break will never work.
And by the looks of things she was moving on even before the relationship ended if shes already dating other people and this should be a wake up call for you, if shes 25 years old and has been in a relationship with you for several years and she is now dating people within weeks of the relationship ending that should tell you that shes a straight up bitch and the ending of the relationship is saving you tons of heartache in the future.

Move on bro, best advice I can give you.

(If you are not willing to give up on her regardless of how shes treating you right now, play the same game shes playing, find a random chick, go on dates, and by all means while ur doing all this do not even attempt to contact your ex. That drives em crazy :P )

[Deleted]

"On a break" literally means "I need to fuck other people" or "I need to check if something better than you exists out there" before i decide if you are good enough.

And that's even sadder tbh. If she comes back after months, years to OP, OP SHOULD NEVER EVER TAKE HER BACK. You don't want to live your life as someone's second choice or 3rd or w/e number choice. She choose to go out with other guys while "on the break" and not tell OP, OP should cut her from his life for good!

ps: I've been in similar situations where relationship was on it's last leg, GF cheated on me. If you are an avg. guy, you won't be able to trust her anymore, like I wasn't. Let's say OP's GF comes back to OP and they get back into the relationship, OP knows she cheated on him once, what's to stop her from doing it again? Nothing. OP won't be able to trust her and that won't lead to a healthy relationship.

[ChampionChains]

If it's only been a couple weeks and she's already throating another guy's hog, then she didn't plan on getting back together, she just told you that so you'd leave her alone. It's time to move on.

[Deleted]

OP do not do this. The relationship is over. Move on.

Second! Women have no respect for needy guys, she wen't out with another dude, she should contact OP if she has something to say. If she contacts OP, OP should make a date, his place or somewhere cheap (no need to waste money on a girl that cheated on you) and see if she's interested in hooking up. If she isn't and she denies sex, cut her out for good.

[ArguesWithStrangers]

If the two of you couldn't seal the deal after three years together, she's not the one man. Falling in love is about the easiest thing on the planet to do if you know, you're actually in love, and not just comfortable with someone. Get out there and find a woman who's interested in being your wife, and make her your wife. Good luck. Check back in and let us know how it goes.

[Azadina]

You don't want to live your life as someone's second choice or 3rd or w/e number choice.

You do realize, that by this logic the OP is now undateable for the rest of time. No one else is going to be the first choice, as that already went.

[Deleted]

You do realize, that by this logic the OP is now undateable for the rest of time. No one else is going to be the first choice, as that already went.

No, I mean as your in a relationship, partner chooses a break or break-ups, goes to date other people, then comes back to you.

[BuckSparkles]

Stuff and a story

Sorry, if she is your ex and is dating somebody else, it seems she moved on and doesn't give a shit about you anymore. Might sound harsh, but the sooner you can accept it, the sooner you can move on too.