Why do some girls get offended when a guy confesses his feelings?

[Machismo]

How come? if you had come up with me lying or contradicting myself with that quote/post and here I'd understand, but now?

Also I'm not the only one who has seen it happen in this thread

You came up with claims that you heard of it happening, yet provided nothing. Your post history shows a great deal of cringey behavior on your part, so that comes into play. There's also the obvious bias that comes with any retelling of a secondhand story, mixed with one's own personal history of unrequited love.

I'll also add into your desire to put emojis in your sentences.

[Dastreus]

These types see themselves as better than you. When in school, word got out who I was crushing on. She found out, made a huge scene by yelling "What, YOU!? Ew!" and slapped me. Fucking Daniel.

[Najnaj]

Pointless to consider this specific a scenario for a very non specific group. There is no typical female, or human, way in which we react in a scenario like this.

[Wyrt]

Most likely because it's awkward and a lot of people can't handle awkward situations with grace. Probably also a little, "I thought we were friends, but you just wanted to get in my pants" regardless of if that's a fair assessment or not. There's also a lot of guys who get angry when rejected and ruin the friendship so women may just be preparing themselves for losing a friend. And as always, some people are just cunts.

Also, confess feelings kind of has a negative connotation to it. Makes it sound like something you were hiding and/or ashamed of. Which also means you were stewing on those emotions for awhile, makes things hurt a lot more when you do that and makes the situation even more awkward.

[Sk3tz0]

fck it, this whole thread going up on r/niceguys on reddit.

[Vargulf the Happy Husky]

my coworker caught a crush on a former coworker. they messed around a little bit before the former coworker, the female, decided it was a no go with him. of course, she had already moved into his house. now they still live together, have a dog together, make dinner together, but he aint gettin any pussy because she goes out at night to be with her one nighters or on and off again boyfriends lol.

what im getting at is bitches are crazy, crazy as a fox.

this girl isnt ugly, but shes not god's gift to humanity either. and she is allergic to deodorant so she fuckin stinks all the time. OH and she has major depression issues to which she only takes her prescribed medicine half the time.

man, i fuckin hate that bitch.

full disclosure, male coworker in this story was becoming a good buddy of mine, until she came along. her and i do not like each other one bit, and i've been quite vocal to her face and her aunt (my boss) about how tall a pile of shit i think she is. anyways, i helped this guy move into his house, haven't been invited over for a party since she moved in.

[Ghostpanther]

The general reason that a girl gets offended by someone asking her out/confessing his feelings is that she thought you were beneath her socially/attractiveness-wise. Literally nowhere in her league. Therefore, she thinks your asking her out is insulting.

If you were friends, she might be genuinely pissed that you ruined the friendship by making it awkward. It is not the same as the above. If the two people in question were truly friends then she'll likely get over it.

I agree with this. Well said.

If a girl or guy is interested in more of a relationship than just friendship, they will let you know somehow. No need to be aggressive. Other than asking my wife, to marry me, only after I felt strongly she was also interested in that, did I. The relationship started slowly with her, was not a blind date or someone else linked us up. I knew her when we both were still in our early teens. I always felt different about her from the beginning. Before her, I never asked any girl for a date. They asked me. If I liked them, I said yes, if not, I said no. Keep it simple.

[Deleted]

These types see themselves as better than you. When in school, word got out who I was crushing on. She found out, made a huge scene by yelling "What, YOU!? Ew!" and slapped me. Fucking Daniel.

Women will try to date someone better than them, it's called hypergamy. If you are poorer and/or less social value than her ofc she will feel offended and grossed out someone like you could want something from her.

- - - Updated - - -

I agree with this. Well said.

If a girl or guy is interested in more of a relationship than just friendship, they will let you know somehow. No need to be aggressive. Other than asking my wife, to marry me, only after I felt strongly she was also interested in that, did I. The relationship started slowly with her, was not a blind date or someone else linked us up. I knew her when we both were still in our early teens. I always felt different about her from the beginning. Before her, I never asked any girl for a date. They asked me. If I liked them, I said yes, if not, I said no. Keep it simple.

They get aggressive because they know you won't put up with them and do what they ask/asked of you because you now want something more of a relationship. If a guy tells a girl he's into her, she declines him the guy 99% of the time will pull away. That's what get her pissed as most, the initial "friend" relationship will suffer and tbh it should. Single guys and single girls can't be friends, maybe work buddies and so on but that's about it.

[Altrec]

In fact you are. There are some studies which suggest that if a man finds a woman attractive he automatically assumes that it goes both ways.

Now I have news for you guys: It typically does not. Of course, there are women who just like to have sex, they probably will take any man as long as he has the required equipment, but usually this is not the case.

I find that study really hard to believe. I think most people men and women are aware of what they look like and that someone they find attractive isn't necessarily going to find them attractive. That is where the entire concept of "leagues" comes from. I might find an actress or my bartender very attractive, but I am under no illusion they would also find me attractive.

[kamuimac]

Anecdote time!

More often than not, it does ruin friendships when feelings develop; particularly so when they're not reciprocated. As Celista mentioned already, in a lot of people it just breeds resentment further down the line and this is definitely going to happen in what OP described as "pretending nothing happened and going back to normal". It's not going to go back to normal, because they're just pretending. They know it, and their friend knows it, and every time they hang out or she introduces him as a mate or "like a brother" to a guy she's dating it's just going to make him feel like shit because that's not what he wants anymore. That's going to make him hurt and miserable, and that's going to cause him to act in ways that don't make him a good person for her to be around. She'll see that he's hurting, but she won't be able to do anything about it because she's not interested in him in that way and they'll both end up feeling like shit around each other. Over time the friendship just dies because one or both of them starts making excuses not to see the other and inevitably gives up on the friendship. Now this isn't true for all people, all of the time, but it's true often enough that it shouldn't surprise anyone that this is expected to be the case.

About 18 months ago I met a girl that I really clicked with when I was helping out in another store for work, we started talking and we hit it off immediately as friends, she gave me her number on my first day and we started hanging out. We had an identical sense of humour, we would text bullshit to each other for hours; tell weird stories and have private jokes about everyone and everything and we quickly became good friends. She introduced me to her boyfriend who was also a really great guy that I liked a lot and most weekends we'd get our mates together at their place for drinks and parties. Then after a few months she began telling all of her friends that she wanted to leave her boyfriend and be with me, when I got together with one of our mutual friends she suddenly became really hostile to her; and started excluding her from the group, not inviting her out and being nasty about her to our other friends. That was when I first told her that I saw her as a really good friend but I didn't think of her that way and I suggested we take a break from each other for a couple of weeks so she could gather up her thoughts and feelings and we could go back to being mates. But it didn't stop, because it never stops, so when we went out to dance as a group a couple of weeks later she man-marked me and spent the entire night pushing her way into every conversation or dance that I had with other people; including my girlfriend at the time and even when her boyfriend was watching.

Over time, her boyfriend started to hate me; because when they were alone she would say how much she loved him and how lucky she was but whenever I was over their place she would be cold and distant and just generally a bitch toward him and was so blatant with how she acted toward me. She confronted my girlfriend and told her that she saw me first and she shouldn't have gotten together with me because of that. She said that she shouldn't be with me because if it went wrong between us they would all lose me as a friend and told my girlfriend that she was being selfish if she didn't leave me.

Whenever we'd get coffee she'd want to turn it into a date. Coffee would turn into drinks, then lunch, then she'd want to go back to her place, then she'd want to watch a movie and on and on; and if I said I needed to go at any point in that chain of events she'd get annoyed and act like an asshole. One time I spent about 6 hours with her after we bumped into each other in town and went for drinks and it wasn't until she started arranging that we go for a night out dancing together that I said that I really had to go, then when I said goodbye she ignored me and walked away in a mood.

Eventually I had to stop being her friend and started making excuses not to see her as it was just emotionally draining trying to keep the friendship alive while I could see that being around her was making her miserable.

As you get older; especially for men; your circle of true friends gets smaller and smaller and complicating friendships is one of the main reasons why so many blokes in their 30's onwards have very few people close to them. After I first told her it wasn't going to happen she should have taken as much time out as she needed to put her feelings to rest and I'm sure we would have stayed best friends but as it turned out, that was too much to ask so we lost touch completely. This is why my advice is generally not to date your friends, but definitelynever fall in love with them. Move on with your life, keep them separate and you'll always have a wingman to help you find someone who IS interested in you.

your story proves 2 things -

a) that her boyfriend was the cuck in this story who should have dumped her the moment she started hanging out with you since it was pretty clear to any man with 2 brain cells that she would cheat on him the first occasion she had

b) you should have told him on first occasion "listen dude your girls is a cheating whore dont waste time on her" - instead this you didnt because you clearly enjoyed attention she was giving you so you are no better then she was at all.

- - - Updated - - -

I find that study really hard to believe. I think most people men and women are aware of what they look like and that someone they find attractive isn't necessarily going to find them attractive. That is where the entire concept of "leagues" comes from. I might find an actress or my bartender very attractive, but I am under no illusion they would also find me attractive.

and thats your basic mistake - people shouldnt be pussies and then regret shit - whats the worst that could happen ? slap in the face ? jezus is you like a woman simply dont be a pussy and tell her that - problem is a lot of people pussy around behaving like loosers lying to themselves that "with time she will know me better jadda jadda" and then they whine instead rip that bandaid fast and move on to next one if she rejects them .

pussies will be pussies.

[Kasierith]

Seeing as this thread is really just going back and forth with gender bashing, it is not an appropriate topic for these forums.

Closed.