Is therapy worth it?

[HardlyWaken]

Hello everyone, I’m going to get quite personal for a moment. As to why MMO-C, that fact that it is mostly anonymous and unbiased in terms of personal experiences holds a lot of value to me, and I’ve seen some decent discussion here over the years.

This week I’ve been stuck with a series of tragic events. Last Sunday my mother’s apartment caught fire, due to unknown causes, which started on their balcony. They lost just about everything they owned including a lot of sentimental pieces (including an Xbox signed by many Blizzard employees) and photos. This alone was quite stressful, but honestly, feels like nothing compared to Thursday. My sister, only 21 years old, overdosed on Heroin, which caught my family by surprise. She had been slowly distancing herself and had been on a rough road since her father’s passing in 2010, who also ODd. (She and my other sister are technically only half, but we don’t really recognize that.) The sad part it, a lot of her drive to go down these paths revolves around wanting to get closer to her dad again.

So my mother lost everything and now her daughter, and I’ve lost one of my best friends and someone I expected to have around throughout my life for friendship and support, and I’m struggling to cope. In fact, it usually doesn’t feel like anything has really happened, because my mind won’t allow me to believe it. And in many ways, I feel like I let her dad down (or my once-step dad) because I always told him I would look out for her, which believe me I tried, but it’s been very hard. These types of issues are deeply rooted in my family and friends of parts of my family, basically on both sides except for my very immediate family (my mom, New step dad, my dad, my youngest sister and myself), but as a branch of the family that basically “got out” and made it, she had every opportunity to do so herself.

So my question is, as a 26 year old who struggles with seeing the value of a shrink, if anyone has seen a therapist or psychiatrist, was it helpful? And if so, in what way? At this point, I’m becoming desperate for an outlet to find some help so I can get things back on track.

Thanks.

[Freighter]

I have been to different ones over the years but I've given up on it by now, I find it to be not helpful at all. Yeah, I'm depressed, yes, I've been put on medicine for it and yes I've talked to therapists but none of that helps. Waste of time in my opinion.

[Mifuyne]

It's worth it aslong as you understand and accept the fact that a shrink or therapy in itself doesn't fix anything.
It all depends on how you use such tools but don't expect some miracle.

[HardlyWaken]

I have been to different ones over the years but I've given up on it by now, I find it to be not helpful at all. Yeah, I'm depressed, yes, I've been put on medicine for it and yes I've talked to therapists but none of that helps. Waste of time in my opinion.

That’s what I’m afraid of. Right now, things are chaotic enough... I really don’t feel like sinking money and more time into something that will just add more stress for no real benefit.


You say even medication (anti-depression/anxiety etc) has never really helped either?

[Lorgar Aurelian]

Do what I do make friends with one and talk to them for free. I find it slightly helpful but over all doesn’t do much I wouldn’t pay to talk to one.

[Mifuyne]

That’s what I’m afraid of. Right now, things are chaotic enough... I really don’t feel like sinking money and more time into something that will just add more stress for no real benefit.

There is a very big difference between "feeling down for a bit" and "major everlasting depression".
Considering this is a gaming forum, the amount of "everlasting depression" and other issues are more prelevant here than anywhere else.
Thus, the replies you will get will mostly be based on this fact.

Therapy is/can a great tool to vent your problems and maybe change your thought process.
Deep depression is another beast entirely.

[Ihazpaws]

I am currently seeing psychiatrist weekly and taking medicine for depression. It is working as long as you let it work. I recommend trying to go and just tell it all for the professional. Atleast you have then someone who listen and try to help you get better.

[Ozyorkbourne]

SNIP

So my question is, as a 26 year old who struggles with seeing the value of a shrink, if anyone has seen a therapist or psychiatrist, was it helpful? And if so, in what way? At this point, I’m becoming desperate for an outlet to find some help so I can get things back on track.

Not a mental health expert but I did lose my dad fairly suddenly at 18. I didn't see a therapist but i'm not sure if it would have helped or not. Between his death and my mothers suddenly heavy drinking/distraught sobbing night after night for 2 years, I think I could have used an outlet at least.

If you really don't want to see a therapist, you could:

- Try working out
- Pursue a quiet hobby
- Take 1 session and see if just getting it off your chest to another human being, not a screen/forum, helps you any. It might.

I'd certainly encourage you not to get on any perscriptions or medications. You're entirely capable of working through this one way or another without drugging yourself, you just need to find what works for you.

[Rathwirt]

It's nice if you can't really figure out what has you down, but I haven't found it very helpful at all for dealing with situations like yours where you know why you're down. It's normal to be down in that situation. It'll pass.

[Freighter]

That’s what I’m afraid of. Right now, things are chaotic enough... I really don’t feel like sinking money and more time into something that will just add more stress for no real benefit.


You say even medication (anti-depression/anxiety etc) has never really helped either?

Side effects was too much for any benefit. Some took away my anxiety but it also made me a zombie emotionally and another I tried made me sleep all days, I was barely ever awake and they thought I was getting worse and upped the dosage, which made it even worse. I stay away from it now.

[Tiwack]

If you want help it's there. Therapists can't help you if you don't want to be helped. Speaking our mind is how we cope and work through emotions and seeing a shrink will provide you an outlet where you can trust what you say won't leave the room. Based on what you're saying I'd advice you to talk with your family and if you feel it beneficial bring in a therapist for a family meeting or two so you can all work through your difficult circumstances together. Even if you don't express it you'll more often than not have a lot of feelings in common to various degrees and help each other cope inadvertently by being present and just listening to each other open up.

[Spiral Mage]

My experience with therapists was negative. The main problem is, with the ones I went to, is that they think they're better than me or above me because of the degrees and shit on their wall. They proceeded to TELL me what to do, in a condescending way, from their point of view. Which can never work. You can't help someone cope with their problems, if you remain detached or "above it".

Therapy MIGHT be worth it but you need a therapist who is going to put themselves ASIDE for YOU and listen to YOU and try to view your problems from where you're sitting, not from where they're sitting. I never found such a person, myself. Maybe you'd have better luck?

You might be better off with some friends, if you have anyone you feel you can confide and trust in to help you. I'd sooner talk to a friend of mine for that reason. He listens, he always tries to sympathize with *my* point of view and he gives thoughtful advice. Does it always help me? Not the advice, but the fact that he cares enough to sit down with me and hear me out.

Plus a friend is just that, a friend. Your therapist isn't the same, and most of them will see you as an appointment they have today, and nothing more. Though, again, you might find one who's better than that.

Look around, and only look at ones you can do some kind of research on.
Are there reviews, or recommendations on this person?

I've never looked for one myself, heh. So I'm throwing darts blind here.

In regards to medications: Medications IMO (not a medical person), are only useful for combating depression brought on by chemical imbalances or other health issues. They won't bring back the dead, or change the past. You, yourself, are the only one who can find peace or come to terms with your life. Pills won't help you do that.

I've taken some heavy losses myself and in the end, I'm the one making the decision to keep going. No one else did that for me, nor could they.

For what's worth, I'm sorry for your losses as much as a stranger can be.
I hope you find some way to cope with what's happened.
I wish I could offer you better than that but that's all I've got.

[Mifuyne]

I'd certainly encourage you not to get on any perscriptions or medications. You're entirely capable of working through this one way or another without drugging yourself, you just need to find what works for you.

Agreed.

From what I read and what the OP said the OP seems to have a temporal low.
Whilst medication would work, it'd be rather overkill and can give the OP issues in the future.

[Omega10]

It worked for me 27 years ago. Changed me from suicidal to non-suicidal. It was hard work and all of that, and I spent a lot of time just thinking about things. Helped me become what I am, and was hugely helpful in me getting myself together, and putting a lot of my past behind me.

[Thelxi]

Depends on the money you have available. A good therapist can be very expensive. I don't know what country you live in but not all therapists are qualified. Going to a psychiatrist is always a good first step, they are medical doctors. They might then refer you to a psychologist for therapy or provide it themselves.

[Dispraise]

Side effects was too much for any benefit. Some took away my anxiety but it also made me a zombie emotionally and another I tried made me sleep all days, I was barely ever awake and they thought I was getting worse and upped the dosage, which made it even worse. I stay away from it now.

not to pry, but can I ask which meds they were? my sister had the same problem for years before she found one that worked for her.

[Paperfox]

For what's worth, I'm sorry for your losses as much as a stranger can be.

A good friend can be a wonderful help. If you don't have any that you think are discreet or wise enough, then seek a therapist or a local minister. A lot of times something is better than nothing.

If you do go the therapist seek one who specializes in grief. Grief is way different than depression, give yourself some grace. If you don't like the therapist please see a different one. I'm quite leary of recommending drugs so please seek another option.

Spiral Mage said it quite eloquently.

[Kithelle]

It's worth it aslong as you understand and accept the fact that a shrink or therapy in itself doesn't fix anything.
It all depends on how you use such tools but don't expect some miracle.

This is why I'd never go to one, no matter what they say it can never change what I've been through. The way I see it talking about my problems wont do anything because it wont change the past.

[Zazuking24]

So my question is, as a 26 year old who struggles with seeing the value of a shrink, if anyone has seen a therapist or psychiatrist, was it helpful? And if so, in what way? At this point, I’m becoming desperate for an outlet to find some help so I can get things back on track.

Just wanted to let you all know, I registered to mmo-champion just so I could respond to this post. I constantly come and read the entertaining posts without a need to say anything but I felt otherwise on this post.

First and foremost, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know that means nothing for you but know that I am praying for you as you transition between these uncomfortable times. I only know you as "HardlyWaken" but regardless, I will keep you in my prayers.

Second, I want to preface my answer with context. I'm currently in the first year of my PhD for Clinical Psychology. At the same time, I have never actually been in therapy as a client, only as the therapist. However, therapy works. I've seen lives transformed. It's worth every penny.

At the same time, I want to dispel some myths about therapy. One of the most effective aspects of therapy is that you are emptying your thoughts to a non-judgmental individual. If you have these individuals in your life, you can get a heavy portion of therapy without paying a dime. We do go through extensive education and training having to log 3000 hours of therapy before we get licensed (at least in California where I'm trying to gain licensure) and there is empirical data proving improvement of behavior and emotion especially with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. But it still depends on the individual participating in the therapy. There is limited magic within therapy. Miracles are absolutely not commonplace. If both, the therapist and the client, put in the work necessary, there might be success.

For you specifically, I highly advise therapy. It will be beneficial. But also know that there are different levels of therapists you can go to and different locations that will offer more affordable rates. For example, at a location I used to train at, a master's level therapist would only cost $20/hour as opposed to $180/hour that a licensed therapist will ask for. However, what most people don't know is that the master's level therapists cannot make decisions alone. They need to consult with a licensed therapist. You are basically getting two minds for the price of one at a much more affordable price. Granted, you need to be a little more patient with the therapist because they might need to consult more often than not but for the price, it's hard to complain. I have advised several people I know to do exactly this and they have been very happy with the results. At least, this is my behind the scenes experience for California.

Sorry for the wall of text. TL;DR: I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Get therapy but look for more affordable locations. Don't be afraid of going to a non-licensed therapist to save money as they have to consult with licensed therapists.

[blarkaey]

It can be worth it, but you probably have to do some shopping around for a good one and/or just get lucky. Don't get your hopes up and expect to instantly click with the first therapist.

Like Spiral Mage said, many therapists are condescending. I always said there should a buzzer that patients can hold and if their therapist is being too smarmy, they can press the button and make him fly out of his seat and make hit his head on the wall. They might actually have some good tips here and there- but they *do* almost always think they are better than you. I had a horrible therapist who got pissed off that I didn't do what he said (proof most want control and not to help, hence the phrase the rape ist), and always smiled at me in this very douchebag/condescending way. He ended up thinking he could help me by reciting quotes from the Bible. It was so bad lol.

Even if they think they are better than you though- which may be unavoidable, you can still find some useful advice sometimes if you listen to them objectively. But the best therapy happens when two people get along on a deep level. You are naturally more hard wired to listen to somebody you feel that isn't out to get you or has an insidious agenda- especially as you will be talking about what makes *you* vulnerable. That's why connecting with a therapist is so important. But also it's an American culture thing. As Americans we are raised to argue with our fellow neighbor and be competitive with them, not to empathetically connect. A therapist raised in your same culture will have the same biases and regardless of the snobby way they think and talk - they are just a flawed human like you.

So yeah, like the song says 'you gotta shop around.'

Also it's definitely about balance. You want a genuine connection but at the same time it's a business transaction and you are there to get an objective eye on a situation to move you forward in life. So a therapist can't just be some teddy bear that agrees with everything you say, either. When I was very shy/introverted and lonely I wanted a therapist to be a friend. But that's when a good shrink will say 'you need friends, not therapy!'

This thread reminds me of the Dexter episode 'Shrink Wrap.' LoL y'all remember that?