dating preferences are bad?

[Freighter]

says the person who thinks people are unattractive based on race...

I'm curious, what's so bad about not being attracted to people based on if they're black, white, asian or any other categories?

[Swalload]

But that's not how these words work. Saying "i prefer chocolate milk over strawberry milk" would mean that i still like strawberry milk, just a bit less, which couldn't be further from the truth.

No that's extrapolating out of nowhere. Saying "i prefer chocolate milk over strawberry milk" means you would pick chocolate milk over straberry milk, it's only a comparison. It doesn't even say that you like or dislike chocolate milk at all, people's perspective will twist this sentence to find meaning in it where there is nothing more. Specially in this day and age where people are actively looking for people taking sides and looking for fights against their opinions.

[Dangg]

Hating on short guys is more cruel than hating on fat girls, because it's way, way, way harder to change height.

says the person who thinks people are unattractive based on race...

White people are percieved as most attractive by the majority of the population. That's a fact.

[Freighter]

It's narrow-minded

How is that even narrow-minded?

[ghotihook]

It's narrow-minded

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It's narrow-minded

So I am assuming you're pansexual then. Otherwise you're narrow-minded.
There is literally no difference between being not attracted to black/asian/latinos and not being attracted to people who are of the same sex or transgender.

[Archon14]

Preferences aren't good or bad, they just are.

Judging someone based on their preferences is hypocritical because everyone has them. The only difference is how much weight a certain preference has based on public perception of a society. For example, someone may judge you if you have a preference based on weight of a person, meanwhile they are completely comfortable with their own preference based on height. Because to them it's not a big deal.

We live in a world where many deem masturbating in front of someone with their consent is weird and disgusting and wrong, meanwhile they casually engage in anal sex, bdsm and other kinky shit. And even I right now, am hypocritical, simply because I see something that people might normally do as strange, full knowing that I'm attracted to other things people might see as weird as well. But my sexual preferences are "normal, because they're mine".

And also, how much can you even control what you're attracted to? Can you (and should you) force yourself into being attracted to something?

[Dangg]

It's narrow-minded

Sexual attraction is not something you can control so it can't be "narrow-minded".

[Lucrece]

Why else would you bring peoples stating their preferences up? Your original post sure looks like you're complaining about it.

I would bring it up because I think it's a dumb losing strategy. It only opens you up to bitter judgement from the rejected and you gain nothing from it since you're already filtering out people regardless of stating the preference or not.

[Freighter]

I would bring it up because I think it's a dumb losing strategy. It only opens you up to bitter judgement from the rejected and you gain nothing from it since you're already filtering out people regardless of stating the preference or not.

The normal response to someone not finding you attractive on an app should be on the level of Oh, okay, next.

[Freighter]

Yes it can.

No, it can't. There is nothing narrow-minded in how you prefer your potential partner to look.

[Freighter]

How is it not narrow minded to write off peole you've never seen as unattractive?

Because I know what I find attractive and what I do not. If I don't find dark skin attractive then anyone with such skin is not attractive.

[Lucrece]

The normal response to someone not finding you attractive on an app should be on the level of Oh, okay, next.

Yes, but people don't behave according to your standards of normal. There's a reason we have to be hypocritical and hide crap, because the truth is people are not rational beings on average.

[Freighter]

Being shallow is narrow minded so...

Being shallow is narrow-minded? That's called having standards.

[shadowmouse]

Being shallow is narrow minded so...

So you are narrow minded! Got it! You are fixating on "race" because it is a buzzword, and really just repeating yourself as you usually do. Would you be as vigorous to question ageism? Damnit, do you have any idea how many 18 year olds would probably turn me down cold just because I'm 40 years older? Why is racism significant and ageism isn't?

[Archon14]

Because I know what I find attractive and what I do not. If I don't find dark skin attractive then anyone with such skin is not attractive.

You could maybe make a case for an argument where you're being narrow-minded because you're completely writing off a person based on just one trait.

For example, I prefer athletic girls but I wouldn't mind dating one with a little extra weight if she's otherwise amazing to me. Same for hair color/cut, or intelligence, or something totally different. Since nobody is perfect, and I got my own flaws too.

Unless of course, something like dark skin color is not just undesirable to you, it's repulsive. In that case, you're completely right and not in fact narrow-minded.

[Freighter]

Sounds racist. Buy you don't really have a good track record of not being racist so okay.

That's not what racist means.

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You could maybe make a case for an argument where you're being narrow-minded because you're completely writing off a person based on just one trait.

For example, I prefer athletic girls but I wouldn't mind dating one with a little extra weight if she's otherwise amazing to me. Same for hair color/cut, or intelligence, or something totally different. Since nobody is perfect, and I got my own flaws too.

Unless of course, something like dark skin color is not just undesirable to you, it's repulsive. In that case, you're completely right and not in fact narrow-minded.

Just doesn't do anything for me. If they're nice they can be my friend but I'm not going to date someone I don't find attractive. I don't understand why people get their panties in a twist because of someone not finding someone attractive for any reason, what does it even matter to you?

[Freighter]

Unless you judge people on an individual basis you're probably being shallow.

Shallow is a meaningless term, there's nothing wrong with having standards. Call it what it is, having standards. It's not going to be beneficial to you or the other person if you're dating someone you don't find attractive, it's just going to result in misery for both of you.

[shadowmouse]

Because if youre 40 and thinking abut dating 18 year old son that's creepy as shit. Hell I'm 25 and I wouldn't date an 18 year old.

Actually, I'm 58, but by the standards you want to claim, you're just being ageist. There is no creepy to it, you're just trying to feel better about your prejudice. Somewhere out there, there could be someone in their 50s that you've never seen and yet you want to quibble over a handful of marks on a calendar.

@Freighter has been, if I recall, fairly clear that her preference goes to skin tone and not specifically race. I gather that dark skin, be the perspective date African, African-American, Indian, Middle Eastern, or Asian, is not attractive to her. Where is the common "race" there for her to be racist against? She simply has a preference on skin tone.

[ojblade]

it is why Dating websites like "Trump Dating" have been set up

Can you imagine a SJW lady dating a male Trump supporter... Helllooo Conflict. imagine the Arguments in that house.

So now President Trump fans can find a very nice partner / date by searching Trump dating.

And both can live in harmony while supporting the great man

https://trumpsingles.com/

https://trump.dating/

socially speaking, its probably a good idea to date others regardless of anything that has some political commonality to you, goes to friends too.
makes for less arguing.

[Dug]

You can have your dating preferences just don't bitch like incels do when they can't bag their manic pixie dream girls.