who do u think should pay on first dates?

[belfpala]

Usually people just let me pay in situations like this because I'm an exceptionally stubborn ginger. Otherwise, I think it should be traded. One family member pays once, then it's the other's turn next time. Though I do tend to agree- if my grandma reaches for her wallet, no one argues.

Right. I don't believe in anything spiritual, but there is a Karmic balance. That is, I bought lunch this time, so at some point in the future you buy my lunch.

[Interim]

Always the man. but im pre millenial. and pre feminist. they want "equality" might as well give em all it entails though. cant have your cake and eat it too.

[therealbowser]

Up to you. I'd take it as a warning sign if they didn't mention it or offer to pay, and simply expected you to pay for them, but I'd offer to pay it myself -- unless it was a very expensive restaurant that they themselves recommended, or if it wasn't technically a date persay.

As usual, context matters.

PS: This is for the first date, an the impression I'd be giving personally on it. Not for every date ever following that. I wouldn't expect to pay for every meal or anything. That said, there's a good chance that a first date could possibly involve me cooking, too; in which case I'd obviously 'pay' for it myself, so in the end it really just doesn't matter that much.

[Progenitor Aquarius]

I believe there was post like this before.

[XDurionX]

when u go on first date with someone who do u think should pay for it? i dont know how i would think if someone said to me they think i should pay on first dates...

If you can't afford to pay for a single guest, you shouldn't ask anyone out.

[Alvito]

As people have already agreed, the one who asks should be the one who pays.

I will also make another suggestion.

Don't go on a date that requires money. Those dates usually go exceedingly well because it is much more personal.

Ideas:
- Go for a long walk downtown. Window shop.
- There are always free events in town. Always. Ask your local librarian for info. People don't use the library as info resource enough. Also libraries give epic discounts to museums and other places.
- Totally cliche but if you're in the kind of area that allows it... just go walk on the beach when it's warm. People have millions of memories to share about being at the beach.
- Local college campuses (especially my alma matter) have free entertainment nights, if you're comfortable enough checking them out.

There are so many more ideas. Cycling or Hiking is a great one if you both are fit enough to handle it.

The problem with only doing those free things, is when you hear people talk about them as a great start or date they are often book ended with something that was paid for. You don't normally just go to and walk around on the beach aimlessly. You do something first. Cycling and hiking are okay date idea, just not great 1st date ideas. Not too many females are going to want to go off into the wilderness with somebody who is a stranger to them.

[Deleted]

when u go on first date with someone who do u think should pay for it? i dont know how i would think if someone said to me they think i should pay on first dates...

2018, you split it and if the other person riots, you know there wont be a second date

[Deleted]

Man pays and gets sex afterwards (traditional)

or

Split (boring!)

[Weeps]

The problem with only doing those free things, is when you hear people talk about them as a great start or date they are often book ended with something that was paid for. You don't normally just go to and walk around on the beach aimlessly. You do something first. Cycling and hiking are okay date idea, just not great 1st date ideas. Not too many females are going to want to go off into the wilderness with somebody who is a stranger to them.

False, on all things you've said.

You go do the free thing and then end it there. If it continues, that's another story. When you think about a "date" it is usually a one spot meet up then go home. If you feel compelled to "book-end" the evening with a paid fare, that's your decision not the rule.

Normally don't walk around the beach aimlessly? You sound like you've never been to the beach... You go there to talk, look at shells, collect sea glass, share memories. It's not aimless, it's hyper-intimate.

Cycling and hiking are epic first date ideas, hiking moreso. It isn't a climb up Mt. Everest. As you get in your late 20s and 30s, you become a lot more health conscious and hiking/cycling is a great way to break the ice.

Don't say my ideas aren't good. They're unconventional perhaps but... I have a 11 year relationship to speak for. I'm pretty sure I can keep a woman entertained

[Fencers]

The person who pays should be the person who invited the other.

If person A asks person B out on a date, it is not logically the responsibility of person B to pay for something person A asked for. Person B does not implicitly have to pay for anything- they are the guest.

Asking for equity in this is a gross misunderstanding of gender politics and relationship dynamics. And also, responsibility.

[Jonnusthegreat]

Everyone should pay on first dates.

[Deleted]

The person who pays should be the person who invited the other.

If person A asks person B out on a date, it is not logically the responsibility of person B to pay for something person A asked for. Person B does not implicitly have to pay for anything- they are the guest.

Asking for equity in this is a gross misunderstanding of gender politics and relationship dynamics. And also, responsibility.

I think if women don't invite men on dates 50% of the time, they shouldn't be allowed to vote

That sounds about right

[Deleted]

The person who pays should be the person who invited the other.

Exchanging food for companionship upon solicitation.
The oldest job.

[Simulacrum]

The one who asks the other to come with them. They're the one 'hosting' the date and so the one who should pay.

[Azmoden]

The person who invites pays.

Implied, men should invite, it's their role.

Therefore men should pay, but I'm not going to say it out loud because I like to pretend feminism is about equality.

Signed, every SJW in this thread.

Case in point, quoted from another poster: "The person who asked for the date, MAN the fuck up.".

[Gorgodeus]

If you believe in equality and fairness, I would say whoever asked the other person out on a date.

[Simulacrum]

The person who invites pays.

Implied, men should invite, it's their role.

Therefore men should pay, but I'm not going to say it out loud because I like to pretend feminism is about equality.

Signed, every SJW in this thread.

Nothing SJW about that. It only turns SJW when you start pretending that being asked out on a date is oppression, even though everybody understands that it's actually a privilege. That's when you enter into the shameless reality-denying realm of the SJW.

[Alvito]

Don't say my ideas aren't good. They're unconventional perhaps but... I have a 11 year relationship to speak for. I'm pretty sure I can keep a woman entertained

I am sure she is thrilled you are such a guru at first dates. Of course being in a decade long relationship you might be a little out of touch on what people who don't know each other do and don't want to do.

[ifrah]

I've usually taken the initiative to pay the whole bill, my date quite often offering to pay for ~her share. No problem with that.

[Moralgy]

The one who asked for the date should pay.