Student-Teacher Love Affair?

[Deleted]

Lucky bastard is what I say

He's not breaking any laws she's 18, gl to them.

[crica]

I don't think any of us can deny having done stupid things for the affections of a female-unit, but to abandon career and family for a relationship in which he will almost certainly be the sole financial provider on top of the fact that he is newly unemployed (and probably will have a hard time finding a job now) and will probably get kicked in the balls with alimony and child support, and have a strained relationship with his children, there is simply no analogy powerful enough to describe the level of stupid.

EDIT: Somebody mentioned brainwashing, and if anybody is brainwashed I think it would have to be him.

he was forced to leave his job and family - he would have stayed a teacher and in a relationship with his family, but they did not want him to.

sorry, he abandoned no one - he was ostracized

[Iphie]

So mommy discovered 8000 messages? how did she do that and what are the dates on those? I mean even if they are explicit if they haven't done anything before her turning 18 tough cookies on mom. I say let them have their life, it's theirs to waste.

On a related note, as I'm confused with that 'age of consent' thing it depends on state yeah? most people assume it's 18 in the states but some states have different rules correct? So if I'm 18 and I would have relations with a 17 y/o the day before she turns 18 would that be a huge deal or would the justice department throw it out? I know in the netherlands we look at the 'real' age as well, so 1 day would basically get you of the hook most of the time.

[Landin55]

he was forced to leave his job and family - he would have stayed a teacher and in a relationship with his family, but they did not want him to.

sorry, he abandoned no one - he was ostracized

If my wife was seeing one of her students I would kick her ass out the door and try to get her fired.
I don't deal well with betrayal I guess.

[Caiada]

So mommy discovered 8000 messages? how did she do that and what are the dates on those? I mean even if they are explicit if they haven't done anything before her turning 18 tough cookies on mom. I say let them have their life, it's theirs to waste.

On a related note, as I'm confused with that 'age of consent' thing it depends on state yeah? most people assume it's 18 in the states but some states have different rules correct? So if I'm 18 and I would have relations with a 17 y/o the day before she turns 18 would that be a huge deal or would the justice department throw it out? I know in the netherlands we look at the 'real' age as well, so 1 day would basically get you of the hook most of the time.

Only a problem if the parents make a big deal out of it, which, although exceptionally unlikely, they would have every technical right to do so.

(At least in Florida. It varies by state. The consequences for many 'offenses' like this is inflexible beyond belief. Good effort, very poor implementation.)

[Zanno]

Ok, I guess I'm the only one who's gonna say it.

As soon as this chick gets bored and the attention fades, she's history. See ya!

Meanwhile that 41 year old idiot just left his wife and kids and now has to pay child support. Haha, boy did he just get duped.

[WingsofLiberty]

Unethical but legal. Can't see the big fuss over it..

[Deleted]

Now if there were an option "It's okay if the teacher is ME!", I'd sure as hell voted for that.

On a more serious note, I don't really think there's any way to tell that a student-teacher love-affair is or isn't based upon an abuse of the authority the teacher has over the student. It could really be a wild range of scenarios, starting with pressure concerning grades, slowly building up an intimate relationship covered by acting as or actually having the position of a counselor and not ending with violence, sexual abuse and any way of pressure one can apply in that way.

Regarding all these concerns, I'm afraid I can't agree to any kind of student-teacher relationship other than those that came about clearly separated from the student-teacher relationship existing in the first place, having both the student and the teacher allowed to grow emotionally distant to whatever dependency may have existed before entering a love-affair.

[Kisho]

I hope they honestly, really do love each other. They're both taking a huge risk with this, and only if they stay strong and work together can they get through it.

It's all legal, and so long as they waited until she was the appropriate age (which it sounds like they did) then there's no issues. If we're going to have an age of consent so we can get outraged when people are in relationships underneath that age, then we also have to take into account the other side of the coin: that we have absolutely no say in what happens when both adults are over the age of consent.

The teacher/student relationship is a minor detail too. It's a job, just like any other. And you simply cannot control who you have feelings for. If we were in 100% control of our emotions, then would we get all these issues and drama in the world? What matters is how we deal with those emotions, and it sounds like these two did the right thing.

Good luck to them: they've got a very difficult life ahead.

[crica]

If my wife was seeing one of her students I would kick her ass out the door and try to get her fired.
I don't deal well with betrayal I guess.

Yes, I know most people in society, just like you, would "ostracize" people like the teacher. (I would not, however)

The poster i quoted was saying the teacher "abandoned" his job and family. I simply corrected the poster because the poster was wrong since the teacher was "ostracized" by his job and family and did not "abandon" his job and family.

[Leonidas]

Ok, I guess I'm the only one who's gonna say it.

As soon as this chick gets bored and the attention fades, she's history. See ya!

Meanwhile that 41 year old idiot just left his wife and kids and now has to pay child support. Haha, boy did he just get duped.

His "kid" is 17. Therefore, I doubt child-support would even be an after thought.
As for his ex-wife, we have no idea what she was like as a person. He obviously thought leaving her was a good idea, so there has to be something not right between them. Best not to judge without all the facts I say. He made his decision; if he end up regretting it, that's his problem. Not any of ours.

[SageKalzi]

I would agree with "It's okay when they are both single and 18+."

I mean, honestly, I don't think there should REALLY be a problem with a 16 year old (as long as it's legal in the state, it's legal at 16 where I live.) getting with a teacher as long as it's a mutual relationship and they both sign something that is along the lines of "I fully understand my actions and agree that this is not a teacher-student relationship but a personal relationship."

If both signed that then I wouldn't see any problem at all with it, a 16 year old IS basically just as understanding about a relationship as an 18 year old. Especially considering that a person under the age of 16 can have a normal healthy relationship just the same as a 40 year old can have a bad/childish one and vice-versa.

Edit: Leonidas, sorry, but not all relationships are just as easy as "They did it for a reason, the wife/husband MUST be a problem." There are plenty of people who leave their husband/wife because they're just bored or whatever, same with cheating/etc.

[Tojara]

Obviously no matter how you look at it most people are going to think it's incredibly creepy and well, it is.

As to my opinion? As long as it's well within the rules I guess it's fair game? It's either legal or it's not. We can sit back and think it's creepy all we want. Unless he did something prior to her turning 18 it would be a different story. We however don't have those details so it should really be left alone.

In Canada for instance the age is 16. Obviously that's even more creepy but I still don't define people as children at that age. It's a really slippery slope.

Basically what you gotta look for is whether it's within the rules or not. If so, well honestly.. good for him lol.

Sorry as sexist as it might be there is still a fundamental difference between males and females. As idiotic as it is in the grand scheme of things most males will take chances if an older attractive woman is interested in them. We don't perceive them as 'dangerous' and I think there is more than enough evidence to prove that there is a very low chance a man is going to get physically raped, tortured or end up in a plastic bag at the bottom of a river. The inverse while still statistically low happens far more often.

Women aren't predators like men are. Call it sexist if you like. Me personally? I think it's a good thing that one of the sexes aren't as deviant and violent lol.

It's not really a huge loss for the 41 year old dude in this situation. He has to pay child support for like a year, so what? We don't really know his home life but his love life was probably waning and the lure of a young woman was just way too attractive to pass up. I don't see it being a long term thing but he's at the very least going to have a couple years of good loving lol.

[Landin55]

Yes, I know most people in society, just like you, would "ostracize" people like the teacher. (I would not, however)

The poster i quoted was saying the teacher "abandoned" his job and family. I simply corrected the poster because the poster was wrong since the teacher was "ostracized" by his job and family and did not "abandon" his job and family.

Well society is made up of a majority of people and the majority don't share husbands and wives. And he chose to do this and must have known some of consequences such as his wife leaving with the kids and the majority "ostracizing" him.

[crica]

Well society is made up of a majority of people and the majority don't share husbands and wives. And he chose to do this and must have known some of consequences such as his wife leaving with the kids and the majority "ostracizing" him.

It does not matter if you "know" what someone else will or will not do. If you are not "willing" to leave nor leave of your own free will, you can't be correctly accused of "abandonment". If you are forced to leave, and do not leave of your own free will, you are being "ostracized".

He could be accused of "breaking a contract's terms", however (if he actually signed one and had an intimate relationship with her while he was her teacher) - IE: he signed a contract for his job stipulating his agreement to not have an intimate relationship with any of his active students while he was employed as a teacher.

[Rioo]

It's only ok if the teacher is a hot female. In this case it's just tragic.

[Hyde]

karma, 10chars of karma.

[Deleted]

Age difference - don't care
Teacher and student - don't care
But leaving hes family like that - absolutely disgusting.

[Hyde]

Age difference - don't care
Teacher and student - don't care
But leaving hes family like that - absolutely disgusting.

I agree with you.

---------- Post added 2012-03-03 at 10:16 AM ----------

I resent though this is called as love as it is nothing more than just lust.

[Deleted]

Age difference - don't care
Teacher and student - don't care
But leaving hes family like that - absolutely disgusting.

Do you know his family?

In a video he said he hopes he'll be able to reconcile with his family. That doesn't sound like he wants to abandon them.