Best Friend's Wedding -- Not Invited?

[Deleted]

Hire the redcoats, bolt the doors shut and burn it to the ground.
Or is that a little extreme?

[Revan Bane]

You're at a point where you're likely to lose a friend, so may as well go and get the truth from him. He either isn't the friend you thought he is, in which case you should forget about him, or he's being pressured into leaving you behind, and doesn't think this is important enough to stand up for. If this was my friend, I would make it very clear to him that I did in fact expect to be invited to the wedding and am now hurt because he chose to exclude me. I would ask for an explanation, after 10 years of friendship I would expect at least that.

Also, from what you wrote she reads like someone who is totally not ready to get married or be in any kind of serious relationship. You can expect that marriage to be a failure, and your friend to need help along the line.

Ultimately it's up to you how you decide to handle it, but it seems like you aren't just ready to let it go. I'd just go with whatever decision you can live with. Either confront him or forget about him, show up at the wedding or just send them a card. In case you need to move on, knowing exactly what kind of a person your best friend is might help.

[Kurgosh]

Assuming there's nothing more to the story (examples: you used to sleep with this dude, or you have a history of inappropriate wedding behavior, or the wedding is immediate family only), I think you have to conclude that he isn't a very good friend after all.

[Spritely]

If he's this withdrawn through the wedding phase it will only be worse once the wedding is done. His choice to bend to anything she wants is also his choice to lose you as a friend.

I hate the females of the world who act like this but I hate the men who let them get away with it even more. ...there's a reason I've never really had a meaningful female friendship.

[leo29july]

Just want to clarify to the married people, that nowhere in my earlier post on this thread, did I mean to say marriage wasn't good or great or that happiness couldn't be found - Marriage is its own adventure with its own set of rewards.

However, what I meant to over emphasize in my post, was that his friend had made a choice to enter a different life... a NOT single life. And while the loss of a great best friend will be felt in the immediate months ahead, what the OP should accept is that his own life is before him. He should make the best of his time being single, until such time, if the right person and right moment comes along, he too is brave enough to embark into the NOT single life.

[Deleted]

Sounds like your "friend" is being whipped... I would tell him how you feel straight up, and if nothing happens, i'd cut all connections with him. IF he considered you his BEST friend, this goddamn girlfriend should accept that. But I guess she's a b!tch and your friend is a pu§§y...

[whyumadbro]

I hope this thread stays alive... I'd really like to know the outcome of whatever OP does.

[Oniax]

Tell him to honor the bro-code.

[xfloggingkylex]

Don't make a scene and don't show up uninvited.

If this guy is really YOUR friend, you'll respect that he is making a compromise with his own feelings to keep his fiance happy.

This Bro's before hoes/pussy whipped/under the thumb crap that is spouted on the internet between kids does not exist in the real world of relationships and if you're a true friend and want your friend to be happy, you'll understand that to him, his fiance comes first.

This is true, and is also a major reason why people have very friends.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technolog...e-friends.html

I'm sorry, but if you friend wanted you there enough you would be there and that is the sad truth of it. He isn't being forced to skip wing night or a few beers after work, he isn't inviting what should be his best man to the wedding. I keep seeing people say that if you're a true friend you'll let it go and I do agree with that, but just know that things aren't going to get better from here.

Talk with him though, you're friends and you owe each other that much.

[Beazy]

Its usually the men who have never had vagina before in their life, they get their first real girl friend post 30 because they are pushing 6 figures and 99% of the time, the let the lady tell them what to do.

Its rly sad. I feel for guys like that. I most definately have friends the Battle Axe hates to be around, so I respect her and dont invite them over for drinks or dinner, so she respects me enough to put on a happy face when they do show up at other peoples occasions.

There is no excuse for a woman to tell you, you cant see a friend ot 10+ years at your own wedding. I would not stand for it, and the conversation would end, or she would be packing her bags and finding a place to live, and thats no bullshit.

[Judge Malthred]

Having read over some of the other advice to show up drunk and make a scene etc I have had an idea I think you should consider. It is going to take some testicular fortitude on your behalf though.

Confront the bitch, and troll her. Try to get her to tell you in no uncertain terms that he will do what ever she wants, and whatever she says goes. Basically get her to admit she has his balls in her purse and if she threatens to lie about you to make him hate you even better! Get all this audio recorded with your phone or some other discreet recording device.

Show up to the wedding dinner where the bride, groom, and entourage are all at their head table. hi0jack the DJ equipment if possible, or bring something of your own.

Get everyone's attention.

Play the recording for all to hear.

Announce to the room "Now everyone gets to see the true colors you shared with me."

This will ruin her entire day, and she will NEVER forget it. If I lost my best friend to a bitch like this I would find a way to pull this off just to help quell the rage I would feel towards the situation.

[Madworldz]

Bro's befor Hoes. Nuf said.

[nixcookies]

I would feel very hurt if it were me but I would act like it didn't and bury the pain in a sea of alcohol and narcotics.

[Feralia]

Confront him, but don't piss him off by being angry at him or 'acting' jealous. Just ask the reason why, for as a best friend supposedly, even though you weren't invited he should at least have told you why.

[starlord]

get married, dont invite him.

[Anaeska]

Turn up drunk and make a scene

Like Bridesmaids - Reinvented, only now its "Groomsmen" I really wont distract the wedding, but definitely choose something like a bachelor party. But all in all, if he didn't invite you it's cos she's got him by the balls. Women wins in wedding. Been to a few and saw stuff similar to this.

[ringthree]

No it was more like, "it is what it is, you weren't expecting an invitation/ didn't want to come anyway, right?"

Dude, fuck them. That is all. If after 10 years either of them would say you weren't expecting an invitation then it's a friend that obviously won't stand up to their SO. It's not someone you want to be around.

I know that some people are trying to blame you, but when they get older and they have friends that get married and they watch their lives end, they will begin to understand.

For some people marriage is just a step in a full and complete life. For some people it's a death sentence. I have found the later are also the most likely to get divorced, but that is just a personal observation.

[Anaeska]

Hmm now it makes me wonder... well I will ask anyways. You tap that bro? I mean could have happened while you are a bit drunk or a few beers perhaps... just remember, it could be a major cause too.

[Deleted]

I'm wondering if anyone has been in this boat before...

I have been friends with this guy for ten years, up until recently, I've considered him my best friend.

He has a fiance that he's been engaged to for nearly half that time.

I suspect they are finally getting married.

She doesn't like me.

During the planning phase, he's basically gone into hiding from me.

I finally get him on the phone again today, to discover that I'm not invited to the wedding that is around the corner.


How offended should I be?

Disown him as a friend? Take it with a grain of salt? Act like it never happened and chalk it up as her fault?

Has anyone else been through this?

its a wedding man, they are for the enjoyment of the bride, count yourself lucky you dont have to go

[Deleted]

Anyway i was in same situation well almost same, i was invited but i had hated my friends fiance i didnt turn up too the wedding but the after party i did and drank my self under the table never spoke to my friend again because he was a wimp when he was around her.

Well, you showed her to be right.