the reason you are out dpsing them is due to uncapped vengeance scaling. tank dps is currently insultingly high and prot paladins are the highest dps tank of the lot. have a look at wol if you don't believe me.
my guild is scheduled to start raids this week, so i have not had a chance to test my damage in raids, but i've done a lot of heroics with guildies and my damage compared to theirs is fine. if i can keep up with our mage and shadowpriest, ret damage is fine.
whats more
a lot of random pug-a-dins are fucking awful and probably don't understand how ret is currently played. a lot of people think ret is still mindless FCFS faceroll, and its not.