at first i'd get into with people over that. after 10 years of dealing with construction job sites full of decent people who thought that being racist was a great way to break the ice with every other white guy on the jobsite, i just don't say much and the subject changes quickly. people use that as a "how the weather today" line really, means nothing, the people who say it don't have a problem with black people in everyday life. they're as civil to them as anyone else
but black folks do it too. mexicans as well. we're so NOT different when it comes to that it's almost funny. if people treat others like people, what they say behind closed doors really doesn't matter. let them be pretend racists then go into business with someone of another race because it benefits them both.