Video game idea? Gimme some feedback!

[Deleted]

Game Idea
Name: Ravencrest

Story to it:
1600'S
The City of london is infested with a plague-like disease (It is Pneumonic not Bubonic though), but it is unknown how it came to exist. Christopher is left to fend by himself as all his family had been killed by it. He grew up in a Middle Class house with his Dad (Night Watchman) and his Mum (Baker) surrounded by family his whole life, he found it a struggle for himself to be alone for the first few months. Although with the loss of his parents at a young age it has made him a stronger man on the inside, Christopher doesn't believe it was the plague that killed his parents he thinks the government were behind it (as he found a brief letter as a child Naming the disease that killed his parents the B Virus but kept hidden from everyone else), Him and a few other people he picked up on the way (who follow his views) try and find out how this disease was started - almost like the disease itself they are feared by london and are seen as assassins.

You play as Christopher and have a group of 4 at your hideout, to find out how the disease was started, Was it the government or was it just started naturally?
Also Ravencrest is the group of people who sought to avenge their beloved.

Members of the Ravencrest:

Maxwell Hassett Colwych
Maxwell was the shyest out of all of them, he had dark secrets which had to be kept behind doors. But there was a reason Maxwell joined Ravencrest; he was only 4 when this happened but he saw his Dad get killed by a man in a brown cloak with a hood. Although he was not 100% sure, he believes it was the government and wants to avenge his father.
Joseph Appleby
Joseph was young, maybe to young to get involved with what was going to happen. Although he had spirit, he was determined to find out what happened with this disease. He did not know his parents but Joseph is in Ravencrest because he believes that it was the government that took them away. (His grandpa told him stories of him and knew that he wouldn't leave him.)
Goodwin Crannelly
For Goodwin Crannelly his past is a secret, no one knows what he did previously but with his skill with swords they guessed it must've been something in that area. He speaks of times of when he saw Men in brown cloaks with hoods in the night scaleing the rooftops with blades. - similiar to Maxwells story.
Henry Bushell
Henry Bushell wasnt shy nor spirited, he knew times were hard and that bad things needed to be done in order for justice to be prevailed and for vengeance to be served. The reason he is in Ravencrest is unknown, but he was a good childhood friend of Christopher and has no family to settle down with.

GIMME SOME FEEDBACK PLEASE
I want to develop this substantially

[unholytestament]

That isn't an idea, it's a plot. And it could be used in any media. You need gameplay to be a game. We need to know what you can do and how you do it.

[Deleted]

Thanks for the feedback mate, yea i do understand what you are saying but before i get round to making the game i want to know if the "Plot" is okay for the time being and would people actually play a game with this storyline? This is what im trying to figure out mate, the idea only came to my head like an hour ago.

Merciful -

[trebor]

Sounds a bit like Dishonored to me, have you checked that game out yet? Might give you some ideas or inspiration

but to give you some feedback, there's nothing wrong with the storyline, but I can't tell you how it's going to pan out since this seems to be a rough draft, you need to get into more details of the story if you want people to criticise it

wish you the best of luck

[Shadowspire]

You should probably say how the games plays also. The plot seems nice tho.

[Deleted]

Thanks for the feedback Trebor, ill check out dishonored to see if it gives me any ideas and yea if i have time i might write the full Plot of the game. So you guys can see if its a good idea or not.

[ThePotato]

Just gonna say for historical accuracy the police didnt exist as such in the 1600's instead it was a system of private watchmen who were essentially bounty hunters who were rewarded for criminals they caught.

[Deleted]

Ah thanks, i knew i would get help from Mmo-champion

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---------- Post added 2012-11-14 at 12:21 AM ----------

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[Lyriok]

My opinion:

• Naming the protagonist Billy is rather odd with the setting being 1600 to me, there should be a more traditional/olden name that you could use.

• As pointed out, the historical fact that Police really didn't exist at that time.

Besides that there really isn't much to judge on with only having the very basics of the story/plot.

This may be of use to you, http://oobleck.org/steam/

It's a Victorian/Steampunk name generator.

Here's a example of what it gave me generating a male commoner name:

S. Cuthbert Freitag Jr.
Julius T. Threepwood Jr.
D. Flete Dann
Larry T. Bawn
Lafe Joy Mergan Jr.
Donald P. Heise
Arnold F. Towlan
B. Stoker McKoe
George R. McKane
Alexander Forbes Connor Jr.
Edward Perys Tott
G. D. Beadle Jr.
E. Polan Pugh
Reginald M. McBryant
Jed Hannan Toler

[Ratyrel]

You chose a rather complex period for your setting, as http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1600s_in_England will immediately show. I think to achieve any kind of atmosphere this kind of semihistorical plot should at least tie into the most widely known aspects of actual history.

[Deleted]

its like i was reading a small plot with a few changes from dishonored, can only say work on the plot a bit more and go play dishonored. Saves you some time from making a game and if you do make it saves you some trouble with lawsuits

[Lyriok]

Just as a request to provide more feedback can you please provide a short story for each of the members as to why they are in the Ravencrest, I assume the Ravencrest are assassins trying to figure out the origins of the plague and each member will need a reason to believe there is something more behind it.

Along with this the details of the letter would be great to also know.

As others have mentioned it's fairly similar to Dishonored but what you have so far is a good plot/story to build your game on.