Mistakes that will haunt you the rest of your life

[vizzle]

Anyone have any? Mistakes that you've done that are so bad, those you regret more than you can handle and will always regret whenever you think back on it. Mistakes that you know will be under your last dying breaths when you're an old, wrinkly man. Maybe we can list some of them out so other people won't fuck up in the same way we did...

I have two to share.

*My dad and I were never close when I got older, and we fought often. He always called me a failure and said I'd never amount to anything. When he was in his hospital bed dying, he asked my Mom and the others where I was. I was outside in the lobby. He called for me, and they came out and told me, but I didn't go because I hated him. He died a few days later, and I still wonder every day what he wanted to say.

*If you ever meet a girl that you think you can marry, a girl who relates to you on every single synapse, don't ever overlook that. She caught me about to do something with another girl in one of my most shameful hours, and while I've done everything I can to make it up to her, and she's tried her best to forgive me, she couldn't, and she broke up with me. I don't think I'll ever forget the way she cried that day.

[Dacien]

I have nothing that would shame me, but I do regret some of my mistakes. I've confronted pretty much everything.

Some people I've wronged though may want to punch me in the face, and I'd have that coming

[Total Crica]

yes but it doesnt matter since i cant fix it so i dont care about it

if i could fix it then i would care about it

[sulfuric]

It's terrible that you denied your dad some closure at the end of his life, that is the very definition of petty.


As far as myself, I have not made any mistakes that I regret. I have however failed to exploit several opportunities I have had in my life that would have likely made me much happier, and much better off. I still don't regret them though

[Zethras]

I actually can't think of any. I feel like i've made all the right choices through my life so far, even though it's only been 20 years.

[Harry Botter]

Getting the shopping cart from the parking lot the night I slipped on ice at work and broke my back really badly.

[Dacien]

It's terrible that you denied your dad some closure at the end of his life, that is the very definition of petty.

He's kinda opening up here, no need to come down on him I think. Right?

[Draste]

I screwed up pretty badly involving unemployment. I misunderstood one of the laws of my state and ended up getting money a lot longer than I should have. I truthfully had no idea what I was doing was wrong. When I found out, I turned myself in and even met with the Department of Labor to discuss repayment options. Big mistake. I should have gotten a lawyer right then and there. Now I'm about to be a convicted felon, lost my girlfriend of four years, my dream job, about to lose my apartment and most likely going to spend some time in jail. So yeah... Pretty major mistake.

[v2prwsmb45yhuq3wj23vpjk]

OP, I hope you aren't the same person now that you were during those two moments.

[bhelli]

Losing the best friend I will ever have. Still think about it every day and miss her so much. It's affected me in just about every situation since then too

[Deleted]

I stole money from the safe where I worked, it was to pay for food and rent as I was pretty desperate at the time,I got a lovely shot of myself on cctv and was promptly questioned by the Police, I didnt even bother trying to deny it, although they didnt arrest me or prosecute me it will show up as a black mark on an otherwise spotless record on a CBC check, therfore making any future job interviews that much harder.

[Bellentino]

I never liked dwelling in the past. It's always the "what ifs" and "if I did/didn't do..."

Things just happen. But I've never really screwed up something that bad to let it haunt me for the rest of my life and I certainly don't intend to

[Kalris]

Had a crush on a girl, and her friend asked me out, trying to get back at the other one for some mistake she made.

Broke up 2 weeks later and the original crush doesn't see me in the perspective anymore. Kind of like a friend zone, but worse.

[Joeygiggles]

Not sticking with my Class 2 officer job and taking an armed security job that pays more, So unhappy with where I am at.

[The One Percent]

I made her feel special. Now that I remain a dick 100% of the time, I hold the power cards always.

At least I learned young and my new attitude has yielded excellent results.

[sulfuric]

He's kinda opening up here, no need to come down on him I think. Right?

Of course there is, so that hopefully he pays the price and learns the hard way but NEVER does something so spiteful again.

[vizzle]

Of course there is, so that hopefully he pays the price and learns the hard way but NEVER does something so spiteful again.

Hopefully.

[Saerlaith]

Of course there is, so that hopefully he pays the price and learns the hard way but NEVER does something so spiteful again.

He already said that he regrets it and doesn't want other people to fuck up the same way he did. He said he wonders every day. You're just being mean.

[rnbwtrout]

*If you ever meet a girl that you think you can marry, a girl who relates to you on every single synapse, don't ever overlook that. She caught me about to do something with another girl in one of my most shameful hours, and while I've done everything I can to make it up to her, and she's tried her best to forgive me, she couldn't, and she broke up with me. I don't think I'll ever forget the way she cried that day.

girls you regret: raven haired, blue eyed italian beauty. i had an idea she was into me, but was dating her friend (who was blonde and i had this "thing" for blondes at the time). when i broke up with the blonde, i happened to run into the italian beauty at one of our usual hangouts. had a fantastic conversation and because it was a fresh breakup and we all knew each other, the conversation turned to the blonde. to this day i still remember the exact look on her face, how beautiful she was and how sincere she sounded when she said these exact words:

"what about me? there's still me..."

yea i was a little shocked she was so forward. i think she could see it in my face. i hesitated. then i said: "i don't know..." (i wanted to say more, because there was more to it: like i thought there was a chance me and the blonde was gonna get back together; like it seemed weird cause she and the blonde were friends; like i have this stupid thing for blondes...)

she smiled sweetly and we continued to talk. she didn't seem upset or anything. that was the last time i had a one on one conversation with the italian beauty. last i heard she was a successful interior designer and happily married. the blonde turned in trailer trash with 3 kids and 1 on the way.

needless to say, i have this "thing" now for raven-haired, blue-eyed women. yup, i'll regret for the rest of my life not taking the italian beauty up on her offer. but what i regret most is not explaining fully to her why it was a pathetic "i don't know..." reply. there was more to it that i didn't explain and if i had, things mighta been totally different today.

[Saerlaith]

I may be a bit older than some of you on this forum...I'm 30, and I had my daughter when I was 19 years old.

It was an unplanned pregnancy...I was being stupid and careless. But I decided to keep the baby. I vowed to not be like my parents, who had been unnecessarily strict...and cruel. I wanted to be the best mom ever.

My boyfriend was the classic case of "girl dates a guy like her dad to make up for horrible childhood, because she's convinced she can change him." He was emotionally abusive. When my daughter was a year old, I finally broke up with him, but continued to seek similar relationships because of my low self-esteem and unresolved, simmering hatred for my parents.

Unfortunately at 19, with almost no worldly experience (I had been extremely sheltered my entire life, which is why I snapped at 18, ran away from home, and got pregnant) I was not ready to be a mother. I found that I needed far more time for myself, to grow and mature as a person, and could not devote enough time to my child. For years she was entrusted to the care of my sisters while I was working and in school, trying to finally get that education, and when I came home I was so tired and worn out I was impatient and neglectful of her.

I went on vacation a lot, I partied and drank a lot, I was obsessed with my own thoughts and my own life, I avoided being with her when I was home, and in general I was as selfish and negligent as a parent can be. Although I loved her deeply, I didn't know how to express it. I didn't know how to even take care of myself yet. I'm sure I resented her for needing me. I repressed tons and tons of guilt and kept telling myself "I'll change my ways tomorrow." But we never really have tomorrow, just now.

It took me many years of behaving like this to finally wake up and realize the damage I was doing. They say adolescence goes until your late 20s, you know? That, coupled with my upbringing where I was basically a hermit with no friends, led to my delayed emotional development until my late 20s. In elementary school my daughter required counseling, and I joined in. I found that I had much anger and shame toward myself - rightfully so - and cried many times. The regret was overwhelming. Every time a counselor asked me why my daughter acted out, I told them the whole story, as a way of making myself suffer. It was the least I could do, to paint the whole picture for the counselor, try and help my daughter work through the issues I'd caused. I thought, how could I have fucked up so much, when I promised myself not to be like my parents? It's so easy to be blind to your own mistakes.

My father was just like his dad, yet he resented him, and their relationship was strained 'til the end. That's why I was so upset about someone coming down on the OP about his post, because...it's still bad between me and my dad, but I make an effort to call and visit when I'm in town. Still, he only calls me twice a year, and never wants to talk long. I've accepted that's just the way he is. I've accepted that because he was raised in a different time, and never faced his feelings (or if he did, never shared them with me), he only shows love in limited ways.

I've also accepted that I don't have to be like him. You say you never will, but it creeps up on you. If you've got fucked up parents, be careful when you have kids, be really careful, because that "I'm just like my father and/or mother" shit is hard to avoid. Read excellent parenting books. "Beyond time out" is a great one that helped me feel authoritative without being mean, because it's possible. Admit when you fuck up. Make an effort to change. It is so. hard. I struggled forever to enjoy being around her, to keep my patience in check, to make her the center of my world. But after years of effort, she finally is. We're so close and she trusts me and we love being together. We've worked through years of counseling because I was able to apologize and humble myself, and she was able to forgive me and take responsibility for her actions, despite how shitty it was that it was really all my fault. That's how it is. Your parents have a huge effect on you, and you get stuck working through the repercussions of that. It's not fair. So if a parents says they're sorry, please forgive them. We make mistakes...sometimes huge ones...but we still love you. Even if it doesn't seem like we do.

OP, I'm sure...your father loved you, and understood why you wouldn't come in to see him. If I had never apologized to my daughter, I would have expected no less from her on my death bed. You weren't petty. You were hurt by someone you trusted, someone who was supposed to be there for you. And he wasn't. Accepting his words were not mandatory...and your reaction was perfectly normal given the past hurts. Some of us understand that. Don't beat yourself up over it. I know your dad wouldn't want you to do that.