Ooh, ambitious. I like it. As if you'd ever catch me though.
---------- Post added 2013-01-01 at 12:26 AM ----------
That's what I said. Atleast it isn't.
Though I know someone who wouldn't mind doing some things down there.
Oh well, Abby is streaming some more Doctor Who. Cya later.
And so, much like I have been dreading and hating this day to come it happened much like I thought.
Trydene, our once friendly Gummy enthusiast isn't what she used to be and will, most likely, never be the same again. She has forgone everything and wants nothing to do with anyone anymore.
After the cycles of love and stupidity from myself not only did I lose her as a girlfriend and love, but I have lost her as a friend. I was unable to take the games and the using in the end and could not watch as someone systematically destroys themselves because they think nothing can be done for her.
I look at the relationship and think back at all of the stupid things I had done. Time and time again I used the excuse that it was my first relationship, but the truth was I loved her too much. I always wanted to make her happy without stopping to actually think and it led to me thinking the worst and even trying to do the worst on occasion. When we met I was thinking of killing myself and she talked me out of it. It was so weird talking to anyone from the thread over the phone that night, let alone a girl. She let me talk and talk and talk. Soon I became attracted to her and somehow we shared pictures of each other. I thought "how can a girl of this quality find me attractive?" Just in that picture I saw someone that is incredibly beautiful. We hung out some more, I helped her in LoL and in WoW, just talking and laughing at my incredibly stupid jokes.
Soon I found myself attracted to her and needed the help of another pony, Lyrathepony, to even talk to her, I was that nervous about it. You began talking and texting each other and a few weeks later we were boyfriend and girlfriend. In our first conversation while chatting with each other I told her about my 45 mile bike trip. I said the dumbest thing and told her to not cry for me if I did not make it back. I didn't want her to feel bad if I didn't return. In the end I made it to my childhood home, I saw my past in ways I never thought I could and got over many things. I remember telling her I was doing this not only for me, but for her as well. I didn't want my past to affect my relationship and when I got there I told her how much I loved her.
Months pass and I make mistakes, plenty of them. I tried to freeze myself to death when I thought she was no longer speaking to me. I hid from her when I felt bad so she didn't see me that way. I tried to make her so happy with my stupid jokes, getting her just the simplest things because I had a few extra bucks to get a skin in LoL or even catch her some Pokemon.
The relationship was amazing. I felt things that I only saw when I saw other couples, for the first time I was in love and it was perfect. Someone that took the time to talk to me, loved my jokes, and even though I was overweight it didn't bother her at all. We had a lot in common, spent so many hours in vent while playing LoL, WoW, and Pokemon.
In the end we broke up because of distance and family keeping us apart. I tried to get back with her many times, became attracted to her countless more, but every time I fell short and even tried to kill myself at work when I knew I couldn't have her (in addition to my life at that time).
After all we had gone through I thought I could help her though what she is going through, but I learned that I am powerless to even help one friend, the one person I would take over a small country for if it meant her being happy.
As all things are said and done I find some hate where love used to linger.
I tell you folks this. A friend is an amazing thing and if you have one that means a lot to you tell them how much they mean to you every so often and just think how your life might be without them. The last few weeks I have thought the same and without her it will be different, but with the new year I must move forward. So just think about your friends and know that you have people that back you up, through thick and thin, through the good times and bad you have someone, or even more, to back you up and someone that eases whatever you are going through, even if it just making a stupid joke to see the stress ease off of you for a moment.
With that all I have is this last thing.
Dear Trydene,
I don't know how this happened, but it has, and while I am angry now I am also sad at what occurred. I hope that you find happiness and peace and know that when/if your life finally comes to an end because of your illness, on that day the world will be much less bright and it will have lost something incredibly precious, a young girl that just loved to laugh and make others feel better.
Good Bye Trydene,
I will miss you always.
Dontrike/Shadow Priest/Black Cell Faction Friend Code - 5172-0967-3866