Gifts - Recieving and Giving

[Deleted]

Hi.

Backstory: Me and my brother was discussing gifts. I explained to him that when I give away something I don't expect anything back. This can be hard on the ego mind sometimes. When it comes to the other way around and I ask for something and get turned down I can ofcorse think in my head "But I gave you that cheeseburger the other week". This is something I can manage to drop within a few minutes and forget about. I mentioned to my brother in the discussion as an example that all the beers I have given to him is nothing I expect back. (One here and one there, not 100 cans in one day)

Now, within 5 minutes he went to the store to buy me some beer.

Apparently in his mind. There is no such thing as what I think of as gifts. He felt that he owes me beer now and it is something that he has to pay back. I guess that it has something to do with control. That because he is in debt to me, again in his mind, I am in control over him. So apparently we are the opposites when it comes to Gifts - Recieving and Giving.

I only give away something when I don't expect to be payed back in any way. Like I mentioned earlier this can be hard sometimes but It's something I live by and I try to "perfect" everyday.
Now, because I think this way. I don't expect to pay back in any way when I have recieved something. - Is this a bad thing?

My brother is apparently the opposite when it comes to this matter.
He doesn't give away something without expecting to recieve something back. Neither does he recieve something without expecting to give something back.

Is it possible that he thinks that gifts is just something you give away at christmas and birthdays?


So what do you think?
1. Is it a bad thing to recieve gifts and not expect to pay back when you live by it yourself? Whether it's giving someone a massage or buying someone a meal etc.
2. What kind of person are you when it comes to this matter?

[-Skye]

Anyone who expects something back is pretty selfish, it isn't a gift. It's a "I'm giving you this so now you owe me something but you can't refuse this because then I'll be offended" type thing.

I love giving gifts and seeing the smiles on my family's faces when they open them. I never expect anything back, it's happened a fair bit but as cliché as it sounds I prefer to give than to receive. And usually if I receive a gift I always give one back/will give them a favor. I just don't expect them to expect one simply because they gave me something.

[Deleted]

Giving makes me happy but recieving makes me cringe...dunno why.

[Liagala]

I don't expect anything back when I give someone a gift, but I do expect that if I have a long term relationship (not romantic, just friend or family type relationship) with someone, that there will be giving and receiving on both sides. If I'm always giving to someone and never getting anything back, it will eventually bother me.