Just not the same anymore

[Deatheryn]

The bastard broke up with you because he wanted to try another girl, when she dumped him he decided to go back to you.

Don't waste your time.

^Bingo! He quit coming to see you because he found a new girl to play w/ and now after the shine has wore off the new girl, he's back to play w/ you again and your letting him. Watch and wait, if you continue to stay w/ him, history will repeat itself.

[Bwutty]

How old are you and him if I may ask?

I only ask because how often I heard stories of young love and quick break ups when I worked for a youth center. I've come to understand young love is often fleeting, but the older you get the more chance your want to settle down with someone.

I'm 20, he's 24.

It is, but if he truly had earthshattering feelings for you he wouldn't have. Not to mention he wouldn't have dumped you in the first place. Took me a year to even think about another woman after my last relationship, even if I've before that been the kind of guy who grabs the first available female after a breakup and dives in.

I know.. sounds reasonable.. But maybe he was confused? I'm usually the person who's not sure of anything and makes a lot of mistakes (with my previous boyfriends for example), so I'm trying to kind of understand why he did it.. And he told me all the usual stuff of how stupid it was of him to lose me etc.. but my feelings for him are interfering and.. *sigh*

[Spectral]

I'm 20, he's 24.

Yeah, I think you're surely best served moving on. Especially at 20, if you're not happy in a relationship, find a different relationship (or be single for awhile).

[Dragonix80]

MMO-Champion isn't exactly a good place to ask for relationship advice. My suggestion? Talk to your RL friends. Have some girls to girls talk.

It's so easy for everyone online to say such negative ways. They're not you. They don't know the both sides of the story. Again, talk to your RL friends.

[Spectral]

MMO-Champion isn't exactly a good place to ask for relationship advice. My suggestion? Talk to your RL friends. Have some girls to girls talk.

I disagree, I think people with some distance from a situation often give better answers. Sure, you'll have to wade through some crap on here, but there's plenty of honest, intelligent, experienced people offering opinions. As long as a poster has told the story accurately and honestly, they should get useful feedback.

It's so easy for everyone online to say such negative ways. They're not you. They don't know the both sides of the story. Again, talk to your RL friends.

I think that's part of the benefit - it's easy for an online person to give an honestnegative answer. Real life friends tend to sugarcoat.

[Bwutty]

MMO-Champion isn't exactly a good place to ask for relationship advice. My suggestion? Talk to your RL friends. Have some girls to girls talk.

It's so easy for everyone online to say such negative ways. They're not you. They don't know the both sides of the story. Again, talk to your RL friends.

I know the Internet isn't a place for this.. but all of my girls like him and are "happy for us now that we're back" so I won't get any unbiased opinion there.. Even my bestie says I "shouldn't let him get away twice".. which makes it look like it's all my fault he left me..

[Dragonix80]

I know the Internet isn't a place for this.. but all of my girls like him and are "happy for us now that we're back" so I won't get any unbiased opinion there.. Even my bestie says I "shouldn't let him get away twice".. which makes it look like it's all my fault he left me..

Try give him second chance but make sure he understand that it's the last chance he'll get. Just trend carefully this time, don't rush things. Let him prove his love to you. If he really want you, he'll work hard to win your heart.

[PuppetShowJustice]

But maybe he was confused? I'm usually the person who's not sure of anything and makes a lot of mistakes (with my previous boyfriends for example), so I'm trying to kind of understand why he did it.. And he told me all the usual stuff of how stupid it was of him to lose me etc.. but my feelings for him are interfering and.. *sigh*

You're covering for him. You said yourself that the relationship doesn't feel right anymore.

He wasn't confused. Nobody accidentally breaks up with their girlfriend to pursue someone else. If he flat out told you that his fling with this other chick was "purely sexual" then what makes you believe that you are any different? Do you think he told that woman up front that his interest in her was purely sexual? I'd bet my car that he didn't.

You're twenty years old. There are plenty of guys out there who won't ditch you for some random booty. I'd suggest taking a cue from your boy, drop the relationship, and find something else.

[Spectral]

Even my bestie says I "shouldn't let him get away twice"..

Please, please, please don't listen to this sort of advice! There's no one that's so magically awesome that the "don't let them get away" thinking should be applied. If you're happy with someone, stick with them and enjoy the hell out of yourself, but you should never feel obligated to try to stay with someone simply because they seem like a decent enough partner. There's always someone else that you'll be happy with too.

[Osyrus]

smells like he thought there were greener pastures.

But people need to remember that the grass is green where you water it.

Relationships can be hard, sometimes they are easy, but they are always work.

[Dragonix80]

Please, please, please don't listen to this sort of advice! There's no one that's so magically awesome that the "don't let them get away" thinking should be applied. If you're happy with someone, stick with them and enjoy the hell out of yourself, but you should never feel obligated to try to stay with someone simply because they seem like a decent enough partner. There's always someone else that you'll be happy with too.

I agree mostly with this statement. It still is possible that this boy is the one for her. Remember, we're all human beings and we are prone to make stupid mistakes. It don't mean he don't deserve the second chance. I've always been strong belief in giving other people second chance. But that's it, if they blew it then it's their loss. People CAN ACTUALLY learn from their mistakes and strive to be a better men/women.

[Spectral]

I agree mostly with this statement. It still is possible that this boy is the one for her. Remember, we're all human beings and we are prone to make stupid mistakes. It don't mean he don't deserve the second chance. I've always been strong belief in giving other people second chance. But that's it, if they blew it then it's their loss. People CAN ACTUALLY learn from their mistakes and strive to be a better men/women.

Right, I'm good with that sentiment. If she really, really thinks he's amazing, then sure, give it another go and see what happens. My prior experience would prevent me from doing so, as it sure seems like that just never works out well (I've been on the both the giving and receiving end of that shittyness). Despite that, other people do sort it out from time to time, so it's worth a shot.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

I have this really complicated situation in my life right now..

About 11 months ago I started dating this guy.. for the first couple of months it was great, he was really sweet and kind, it was a great experience.. I could say I loved him and he loved me too..

But then something happened (I don't know what) and we started seeing each other less, distancing from one another.. I still had feelings for him and he claimed he did too.. we eventually broke up after 7 months..

I didn't want to let him go but he wanted it that way.. said he can't give me everything I deserve and I told him we might not be right for each other.. I went through a tough period for the next month, crying and staying home alone a lot.. He didn't contact me, I didn't either..

About two months after breaking up he called me and asked to see me.. I agreed and when we met he was the kind and sweet boy I fell for once again.. he begged me to take him back, saying what a fool he was and what not.. And I did..

But ever since then it's not the same.. He admitted he dated another girl while we were broken up and that really hurt me.. Because I never gave up on him or looked for another.. And while he's sweet and doing nice things for me I can feel deep inside that something's wrong..

What should I do? Whenever I try to talk to him about those things he's saying I'm worrying too much and that all bad experiences should remain in the past.. Is he right?

The honeymoon phase was over, he got bored, something else came up that was new and exciting, that probably didn't work for him, so we're back to square one since he had nothing else on the table.

While you really can't complain about anything he did while you were broken up, he was probably seeing this other strumpet before that.

Although you do seem like a bit of a chore if you're only thinking things are wrong because he saw someone else while you were broken up. There was no reason for him not to and he doesn't owe you any sort of explanation for that period of time.

[Bwutty]

That's the problem, guys.. I've already given him a second chance, and we are in a relationship again.. He thinks we are all fine and with no problems, but I'm tortured by what happened..

He doesn't seem to understand it or want to talk about it anymore, as if I'm expected to just forget what he did.. Well, maybe I am..

I'm trying to move on but it's not easy and no one around me seems to understand my situation, as if they all have put their happy face masks and that's the end of it..

I don't want to just leave him, even if the sole purpose was for me to be happy, because I won't, I still love him..

Although you do seem like a bit of a chore if you're only thinking things are wrong because he saw someone else while you were broken up. There was no reason for him not to and he doesn't owe you any sort of explanation for that period of time.

It's a large part of why I'm confused and sad but it's not the only thing in my head.. I'm thinking things are wrong mainly because it was so easy for him to leave me and now that we're back he doesn't want to discuss any of it, as if it never happened.. I'm trying really hard to not live in the past but.. what he did hurt me and no one seems to aknowledge that..

[Deleted]

How old are you and him if I may ask?

I only ask because how often I heard stories of young love and quick break ups when I worked for a youth center. I've come to understand young love is often fleeting, but the older you get the more chance your want to settle down with someone.

7 Months in teenage time is the equivalent of several decades of committed relationship.

[Deleted]

That's the problem, guys.. I've already given him a second chance, and we are in a relationship again.. He thinks we are all fine and with no problems, but I'm tortured by what happened..

He doesn't seem to understand it or want to talk about it anymore, as if I'm expected to just forget what he did.. Well, maybe I am..

I'm trying to move on but it's not easy and no one around me seems to understand my situation, as if they all have put their happy face masks and that's the end of it..

I don't want to just leave him, even if the sole purpose was for me to be happy, because I won't, I still love him..

IF there's to be any chance it's with a clean slate, and it's not gonna clean itself so you need to talk it through. There's absolutely snowflakes chance in hell this will work if you don't talk it out.

[Spectral]

That's the problem, guys.. I've already given him a second chance, and we are in a relationship again.. He thinks we are all fine and with no problems, but I'm tortured by what happened..

He doesn't seem to understand it or want to talk about it anymore, as if I'm expected to just forget what he did.. Well, maybe I am..

I'm trying to move on but it's not easy and no one around me seems to understand my situation, as if they all have put their happy face masks and that's the end of it..

I don't want to just leave him, even if the sole purpose was for me to be happy, because I won't, I still love him..

This is why it generally doesn't work well, in my experience. I would certainly recommend walking away. The pretending to be happy routine is awful to have to do, and if he's a decent person that notices it, it'll distress the hell out of him too. There's other people for both of you, get a fresh start.

To be blunt, loving someone isn't a very good reason to stay with someone. I don't think I ever stopped loving the women that I was in serious relationships with. It's not like a movie where the main reason people split is that they just don't love each other anymore.

[Deleted]

That's the problem, guys.. I've already given him a second chance, and we are in a relationship again.. He thinks we are all fine and with no problems, but I'm tortured by what happened..

He doesn't seem to understand it or want to talk about it anymore, as if I'm expected to just forget what he did.. Well, maybe I am..

I'm trying to move on but it's not easy and no one around me seems to understand my situation, as if they all have put their happy face masks and that's the end of it..

I don't want to just leave him, even if the sole purpose was for me to be happy, because I won't, I still love him..

Honestly if you still love him just give him that second chance.
Im assuming your still young and can still make loads of mistakes, he doesn't seem like some super abusive bad for you guy from what you describe.

If you begin to notice the pattern of him becoming more distant dump his ass and dont waste your time

[Deleted]

To be blunt, loving someone isn't a very good reason to stay with someone. I don't think I ever stopped loving the women that I was in serious relationships with. It's not like a movie where the main reason people split is that they just don't love each other anymore.

You sir have proven once again to be wise, said it well.

[Dragonix80]

IF there's to be any chance it's with a clean slate, and it's not gonna clean itself so you need to talk it through. There's absolutely snowflakes chance in hell this will work if you don't talk it out.

This. Completely agreed with this.

To be blunt, loving someone isn't a very good reason to stay with someone. I don't think I ever stopped loving the women that I was in serious relationships with. It's not like a movie where the main reason people split is that they just don't love each other anymore.

And this. They're right in so many ways.