I have made a mistake

[TheBeardedOne]

Which I do not know how to fix.
So one of my good friends(was the first friend i made when i moved ten years ago) works as a pilot in the air force(Australian). Well to cut a ,longish story short, i got a phone call from him last week(he is deployed at them moment(4 months in) to swing by his house as his partner was wife to him that their shower was leaking. So after his call i head round there the first chance i can get after work to help him out.
So after i find the leak and seal it up it is getting pretty late and she has made dinner as a thank you. She also doesn't know I am a former alcoholic and been sober for four years, she offers me a drink of red wine which i just accept because i cannot really be bothered explaining my pathetic past to her.

Well one drink leads to many and the next thing i know we are in bed together going at it. After that i do not remember much but waking sometime after 2am and getting the fuck out of there.

Well i get a call the next day from my friend thanking me for fixing the shower and to my relief he has no idea at the moment.

Now i normally have no problem cheating with people(that is their wives problem not mine), but this broke one of my golden rules of never sleep with anyone i know for the risk of ruining my relationship with them.

Well i know it was a mistake and wrong but i have no problem with guilt(never felt any for anything ever) so for me personally i could go the rest of my life without feeling the need to share it and carry on as normal with the friendship but what do i do about his wife, for all i know she could be planning to tell him, she might not be able to handle the guilt. For all i know she could have done this multiple times and is screwing him over.

So what should i do. My thoughts so far have been.
1. Don't tell him, carry on and hope she can shut her mouth too.
2. Tell him the truth and end the friendship and his marriage
3. Tell him that she got me drunk, seduced me to sleep with her then tried to blackmail me(he knows my past, and this will make me a victim and might be able to keep friendship, more of a preemptive strike) and end his marriage
4.Call her and talk to her to see what she plans on doing(this seems it will be too awkward)
5. Block his number move house and never talk to him again just in case he finds out
6.something better? if it even exists

I acknowledge i have done a terrible thing but i just want to know what is the best way to fix it(or just ignored it) and try and remain friends

This happened at the start of the week

[caninepawprints]

You should call and talk to his wife. Be discrete so your friend (her husband) doesn't find out and overhear. That wouldn't be a good thing. The idea behind speaking with her is to touch base with her and let her know you had too much to drink, it was a big mistake, and you really just want to forget it happened and keep quiet about the entire thing. Chances are she'll agree with you, and as long as your friend never finds out about it, it's best for everyone.

I know what I'm talking about when I say keep your mouth shut and don't EVER let this happen again. It'll be a lot kinder to your friend if he doesn't know about it.

[Baltasar]

Im sure your friend would do the same if he was in the same situation,so dont give a fuck about it.

[Jayburner]

shit just awkward unless its your brother doing this. My bro was famous for doing this to me.

[TheBeardedOne]

You should call and talk to his wife. Be discrete so your friend (her husband) doesn't find out and overhear. That wouldn't be a good thing. The idea behind speaking with her is to touch base with her and let her know you had too much to drink, it was a big mistake, and you really just want to forget it happened and keep quiet about the entire thing. Chances are she'll agree with you, and as long as your friend never finds out about it, it's best for everyone.

I know what I'm talking about when I say keep your mouth shut and don't EVER let this happen again. It'll be a lot kinder to your friend if he doesn't know about it.

I thought about this but what happens if she cannot live with the guilt

[enphestid]

Pretty shitty situation. I'd say #1. Simply to avoid the drama. She's probly done this before and he may or may not know. Doesn't seem as though you truely vaule the relationship with him if these are your options.

hit it again sober , so if this ruins the relationship and you dont see them again you remember something. So all in all , fuck it.

let it play out. Worst possible out come , you didnt properly fix the shower.

[Slummish]

If you and the wife care about your friend and her husband, you will never let him find out. Things happen, but if you care enough about the relationships in question, you and the woman will never mention it again... to anyone.

[TEHPALLYTANK]

I'd suggest option 2. Let him know what happened then let him make the choices he needs to make. But that is just what I would likely do in that situation, make your own choices and figure out what is right for you.

[TheBeardedOne]

If you and the wife care about your friend and her husband, you will never let him find out. Things happen, but if you care enough about the relationships in question, you and the woman will never mention it again... to anyone.

this was my plan but i do not know if i can trust her to do the same

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

Take your beating like a man, I say.

[Reg]

Take your beating like a man, I say.

I agree with this. You are no friend of his if your reaction is to never tell him.

[TheBeardedOne]

I agree with this. You are no friend of his if your reaction is to never tell him.

how is telling him doing him a favor, it could ruin his life. The truth to him is that it never happened, why do i need to change this

[v2prwsmb45yhuq3wj23vpjk]

You did something scummy and are now worried about getting caught. You're using alcohol as an excuse for your actions.

You aren't his friend.

[melkesjokolade]

Wtf are you guys on about. You fucking tell your friend, you owe him that much for being your friend for how many years? Honesty is the most important in a relationship, he needs to know and really, thats one shitty wife, I bet he deserves better. Sharing is caring, hes gonna find it out at one point and then you have alot to answer to and you dont want that.
So option 2. Thats what a true friend would do. (Wouldnt sleep with his wife tho obviosuly)

[Jayburner]

these are extrenuating circumstances.

[Reg]

how is telling him doing him a favor, it could ruin his life. The truth to him is that it never happened, why do i need to change this

It does him the favor of getting rid of a "friend" who would fuck his wife. He'd be better off without either of you.

[melkesjokolade]

how is telling him doing him a favor, it could ruin his life. The truth to him is that it never happened, why do i need to change this

It is doing him a favour, he could be spending his life with a slut and he has no idea. Aka he doesnt know his wife at all.

[Kauterize]

Sounds like your "friend" has a bunch of shitty people in his life

[Spectral]

What possible reason could there be for telling him?

[Beenie]

Take your beating like a man, I say.

I agree with this. It also makes me a bit uneasy that you "have no problem with cheating" and "have no problem with guilt." Maybe that's just me. However, guilt is healthy in certain circumstances, like this one.