I should have clarified a bit, but I wanted to remain somewhat discreet. It wasn't so much as begging and pleading, as it was me trying to set the mood and apparently trying too hard. I'd give her massages and we would kiss and it would slowly lead to lovemaking. Sometimes we would play-fight (She is somewhat "kinky" so its kind of normal). Like I said, I never wanted to hurt her in this way. She never said anything about it until after said presentation.
This mostly.
In addition to that, it sounds like you also have some insecurities to work through before you can commit to a serious relationship. The main one I see is your sexual issue. Weather you want to admit it or not, you committed what is known as marital rape. You kept pressuring her to the point where she just accepted it to prevent, in her eyes, a problem from escalating further. No matter if she did it to get you to shut up or because she was afraid you'd get violent, she did it to stop the harassment. Learn to deal with this before getting into any further relationships.
I agree with all of this.
True but the wait for another compatible bf/gf is usually much longer than the wait for the next bus...
imo, cherish the relationships you are in at the time (if it is a relatively good one), but don't be so devastated when it ends that you can not forsee ever being with another person, there is always someone else out there somewhere.
A woman who treats you like a yo-yo will continue to treat you like a yo-yo. By that I mean breaking up and reconciling. It's a dumb, sick cycle that gives her entirely too much power over you. She'll just hint at leaving and off you'll go conceding whatever she wants.
Don't do it, I'm telling you this from experience. My ex-gf did that to me numerous times over the seven years we were together. She'd break up or talk about breaking up whenever she got upset and here I'd go like the big idiot dropping my (sometimes legitimate) complaints or problems with her in an effort to appease her.
This is why I think the presentation caused her to, slightly, exaggerate her feelings out of fear of "Maybe this is what happened" versus rationality. I always went out of my way to ask her if she was okay, if I did anything that bothered her and I never incited any sort of violence that would cause her to fear me. What she said came as an incredible shock to me.
---------- Post added 2013-05-07 at 05:52 AM ----------
You can suspect what you like and I wont reprimand you for it. Lying gets me nowhere in this situation. It may just be the amount of times I tried to initiate (I said earlier 3-5 time in a weekend of three days/two nights).
=) I learned that one the hard way as one buddy kept yelling at me and another buddy to stop running after a bus - He later told me his Dad had told him the quote you gave. I think we gave up after 9-10 blocks of running the bus down and within a few minutes after we stopped chasing the bus, got on the next one along =)
I think I was 21 at the time. With those 2 extra years under my belt you would have thought I knew better!
I figured it would be somewhat misleading. It was only once before and we had a few problems (Unrelated to these) that caused some issues and we both understood that we couldn't be together if we didn't fix them. I had a yo-yo girlfriend once, so I know how that feels. I think she left me and came back 4-5 times before I said gave up
Sorry to hear man, keep your chin up though. Your young, you still have a lot of time to find someone else that will appriciate you for you and not what she wants you to be.
If this was your first serious relationship, then yes it sucks and it hurts but time mends everything. Don't brood to much on it, get out with some friends. Don't lock yourself in a dark place with sad thoughts. You will get over this faster when you go out and enjoy life with some mates. What I did over my first heartache (i think i was 15/16ish at the time) I was in a bad spot, but i did some volunteer work and it really helped a lot. Maybe to help yourself you can help others? Just keep your chin up.
I play many games. WoW, Rift, D3, PoE, SC2 I will not criticize your game choice if you don't mine.
Maybe she just wants to try some new things, alone, with no strings. Just move on.
Lying gets you extra attention.
Most ladies would love a man to show tenderness and affection that gets them in the mood and slowly builds up to lovemaking - - especially if it lead to multiple opportunities over the course of a weekend. The normal objection is when the guy wants sex multiple times with no build up. So if your story is true, chin up, there's plenty of women you'll please with your "forceful" tenderness.
It really depends on the woman though. And her mood at the time. The same woman could want an hour of romance and foreplay one day, and to just get to the deed the next.
It's about compatibility and learning to read cues. And knowing your limits. One ex had rape fantasies. I never even considered indulging her ideas on that. It was just beyond what I was willing to do. One girl I dated always wanted me to be gentle, doting, and never forceful. Then the next one really liked when I'd pin her down or pull her hair. She liked me being aggressive more often than not.
I don't need attention. I actually am surprised I got so many responses. I want to generate a discussion mostly because I'm at a loss for what I should do now that such a big part of my life has left me. Maybe sometimes I tried too much or too hard, maybe sometimes I didn't quite do it right and it was unpleasant for her. She never said anything and I always made an effort to ask her whether or I did anything she didn't want so that I could try to avoid this.
---------- Post added 2013-05-07 at 06:02 AM ----------
It is something I definitely need to work on. I'm a pretty open-minded guy, but your rape fantasy girl seems way out of my comfort zone as well haha. Its funny that all my work on philosophy is lost in the bedroom.