Floridaman assaults girlfriend with a banana because of refusal to detox his urine

[the game]

A Cape Coral man is facing multiple battery charges after he got angry at his girlfriend for refusing to help him detoxify his urine and tried to choke her, slapped her, threatened to kill himself and then threw bananas and a metal comb at her.


http://www.news-press.com/story/news...test/75983472/

[Dellis0991]

So Florida....

[May90]

after he got angry at his girlfriend for refusing to help him detoxify his urine

And I thought I'd heard of everything...

[Fawkess]

Gotta have that clean urine man

[Chingylol]

Was actually reading an article about a theory why alot of crazy news comes out of Florida. It said something that part of the reason why is because Florida has permissive open-records laws gives media access to detailed police files, so they can find the most sensational stories.

Another possible reason was because politics in Florida is dominated by retirees. This means that political decisions favor making things cheap and easy, rather than planning for the future and investing in the youth. In other words, not a lot of money for schools, youth development, etc.

edit: I was also thinking maybe about drugs of choice in that particular reason. Up here in the Northeast, things like Meth aren't popular at all, although heroin is. Meth makes people do some crazyyyyyy shit.

[Deleted]

Florida Man YEAH

[Mistame]

That's some monkey business right there.

[Paula Deen]

Fucking Florida Man.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you Floridians?

[GennGreymane]

Fucking Florida Man.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you Floridians?

Lots of sun, drugs, and gators

[Deleted]

I still believe there's something strange in the water

[Sartharias]

Speaking as a Floridian, we are not all insane. A very large number of Floridians are and they do out number us sane ones. I see it every day from going to work, or going to get groceries. At least once a week I see some Floridaman/woman doing something highly stupid and it no longer phases me, like this morning saw an old man sitting on the roof of a truck as it went down a back road, just eating a sandwich as some chick drove. As someone mentioned above, our schools are very lacking. Quite a few of the people I went to highschool and college with went on to become Floridaman/woman. Like riding a lawnmower in your boxers to the gas station at 9am Sunday to buy beer, every single week. A guy I work with turned in vacation request forms this past week. All it asks for is employee number, your name and the dates you want off, his genius self decided to write on it " gonna go find some strange, will be back following week" and proceeded to hand it to the HR lady. If the news makes it seem like there is a lot of fucked up people in Florida, it's true, very true.

[THE Bigzoman]

DK was most pleased.

[Waaldo]

Hahah I saw this happen outside of my house. Although the mugshot is of the wrong person.

[zorkuus]

Fucking Florida Man.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you Floridians?

There is something wrong with Florida indeed, that's why Florida Man is on the case, give him time. His methods may seem odd to us but it's all part of the grand plan.

[Cosmic Janitor]

Was actually reading an article about a theory why alot of crazy news comes out of Florida. It said something that part of the reason why is because Florida has permissive open-records laws gives media access to detailed police files, so they can find the most sensational stories.

Another possible reason was because politics in Florida is dominated by retirees. This means that political decisions favor making things cheap and easy, rather than planning for the future and investing in the youth. In other words, not a lot of money for schools, youth development, etc.

edit: I was also thinking maybe about drugs of choice in that particular reason. Up here in the Northeast, things like Meth aren't popular at all, although heroin is. Meth makes people do some crazyyyyyy shit.

The first one nails it. Essentially all you have to do as press in Florida is to get your personal "police report" subscription and you can crank out articles with zero effort.

[Deleted]

I bet he went ape

[Usagi Senshi]

*glances over to Alabamba Woman*

You're up next!

[Independent voter]

Was actually reading an article about a theory why alot of crazy news comes out of Florida. It said something that part of the reason why is because Florida has permissive open-records laws gives media access to detailed police files, so they can find the most sensational stories.

Another possible reason was because politics in Florida is dominated by retirees. This means that political decisions favor making things cheap and easy, rather than planning for the future and investing in the youth. In other words, not a lot of money for schools, youth development, etc.

edit: I was also thinking maybe about drugs of choice in that particular reason. Up here in the Northeast, things like Meth aren't popular at all, although heroin is. Meth makes people do some crazyyyyyy shit.

Legal decisions are public record in all the states. Florida must've done something to make getting the data easy like they have a website you can browse or something. In my state you can access legal decisions all you want if you go to the courthouse, if you want the data shipped to you, you have to pay a fee. There's a law that says it can't cost the tax payers anything.

But yeah, it's like a lot of the click bait newspapers are Florida papers by default.

[Bakis]

Lots of sun, drugs, and gators

and too many people getting hit in the head with a golf ball by retired white folks

[Life-Binder]