An emotional affair can be just as devastating as a physical one

[Tennis]

Same here. The real kicker is that the police will not do anything unless you can present the evidence that some sort of physical violence occurred. But, not everyone has the ability to deal with psychological violence on their own (either because they were never taught, or because they are more fragile on that level), and the damage is very much the same in the end.

With all of that being said.. my mother was very much aware of the finer points laid out in the OP and used them to get back at my father in ways that would escalate the conflict, so she was not entirely guilt-free either.

Did you ever ask her why she didn't get a divorce if your father was unwilling to reform?

[May90]

"Emotional infidelity"... Sounds like something from Orwell, mixed with Saudi Arabian propaganda!

[Independent voter]

"Emotional infidelity"... Sounds like something from Orwell, mixed with Saudi Arabian propaganda!

It's where you look at a girl's butt and your girl smacks you.

[Tennis]

Kind depends on what you define as an "emotional affair".

An emotional affair can be defined as: "A relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that affects the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage.

[YourExWife]

Did you ever ask her why she didn't get a divorce if your father was unwilling to reform?

No, I never did. My parents were not the most outgoing of human beings, so I believe they were both afraid of never finding someone else.

Besides, these are the type of personal questions that are not asked - you either understand the reasons and respect the choices that were made, or you don't and stay out of their business.

[Mistame]

An emotional affair can be defined as: "A relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that affects the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage.

In other words, "When your bat-shit SO gets jealous."

[Azadina]

Kind depends on what you define as an "emotional affair".

Mistame linked Tennismans previous threads on that. As a hint tho; don't text or even say good morning, or look at anyone in public, or you're clearly cheater.

[May90]

It's where you look at a girl's butt and your girl smacks you.

Well, for certain kinds of people, it would only prompt one to look at girls' butts more.

An emotional affair can be defined as: "A relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that affects the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage.

The solution is, to build a tall ivory tower and imprison both spouses there!

[Attackrabbit]

Do we really need another thread on this? Or is this just filling some monthly quota? November, December.

There is no such thing as "emotional infidelity", as it's perfectly natural to have emotional attachments to multiple people. Some of my best friends are women and if my SO has a problem with it, she can hit the road. /shrug

I was pretty sure that it had made this thread before, cheers for the links to prove to myself that I'm not completely crazy

[Coombs]

Don't get caught.

[callipygoustp]

Deny it till you die:

[Tennis]

Well, for certain kinds of people, it would only prompt one to look at girls' butts more.


The solution is, to build a tall ivory tower and imprison both spouses there!

No? Both spouses can work and enjoy their life. However, there is no need for extra curriculars that constitute emotional cheating.

- - - Updated - - -

Do we really need another thread on this? Or is this just filling some monthly quota?
There is no such thing as "emotional infidelity", as it's perfectly natural to have emotional attachments to multiple people. Some of my best friends are women and if my SO has a problem with it, she can hit the road. /shrug

I've made many other threads in between. I don't see the issue. Don't police me.

Obviously it exists otherwise it wouldn't talked about so much. Why don't you actually ask people who've been burnt.

[Independent voter]

Personally, I enjoy these emotional affair threads and look forward to them.

[Mistame]

Well if it negatively impacts the relationship, sure.

And yet in most cases, if a platonic, friendly relationship is negatively affecting your intimate relationship, it's probably because your SO is insecure, at best. More likely just another one of those bat-shit jealous types. /shrug

Well, for certain kinds of people, it would only prompt one to look at girls' butts more.

*raises hand* Tell me not to do something and I will do it, if only for spite. I take orders from no one and no "partner" is going to tell me where I can and can't look. That's not how relationships work.

I've made many other threads in between. I don't see the issue. Don't police me.

There is neither an excuse nor a logical reason to repost the same topic three times in as many months.

Obviously it exists otherwise it wouldn't talked about so much. Why don't you actually ask people who've been burnt.

Talking about something does not mean that it exists. The term "emotional cheating" serves no other purpose than to justify or mask a person's insecurity, character flaws and/or inability to participate in a mature relationship. Jealousy is the lethal blade by which many relationships fall.

Personally, I enjoy these emotional affair threads and look forward to them.

They do have similar qualities as those "fail" videos on YouTube.

[Templar 331]

So in other words it's impossible to have a friend that's of the opposite sex.

Right........

[shadowmouse]

So in other words it's impossible to have a friend that's of the opposite sex.

Actually, according to this model it is impossible to have a friend regardless of orientation. From the wikipedia article on Emotional affair:

The partner being unfaithful may spend inappropriate or excessive time with someone of the opposite or same gender (time not shared with the other partner).

Note, however, the line that article starts with:

The term emotional affair is used in the media to categorise or explain a certain type of relationship. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th. Edition does not define the term, and its definition is therefore considered anecdotal and subjective.

@Tennisace's November thread on this comes from a Times of India article. Consider this though, India also has a high percentage of arranged marriages and honor killings (which he is dodging) are all too common there.

Arranged marriage:

Within India, there are significant differences in marriage customs between the economically advanced southern and western states such as Tamil Nadu and Maharashtra, and the less developed northern states such as Bihar and Jharkhand3. In one large study of close to 14,000 young married women4, a vast majority or 91% of Northern women got “fully” arranged marriages. They had no voice whatsoever in selecting their husbands. Their parents and elders chose for them and they had to cooperate and marry a stranger without any prior interaction or knowledge of their soon-to-be-spouse. In these marriages, grooms from the same caste and religion are considered and the bride’s parents weigh his education, profession, social and economic standing with their ability to afford the corresponding dowry amount5. In contrast, in the economically advanced states, close to 50% of the women had at least some say in selecting their husband, engaged in supervised courtship, or chose their mate themselves. Not surprisingly, the less educated, poorer, and rural Indian women are the ones that are subjected to a fully arranged marriage, usually before they have turned 18.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...anged-marriage

Honor killings:

The court summoned 67 representatives of the khap panchayats to explain their role in ‘honour killings’. They did that in a written reply, saying it is not they who are responsible for such killings but the families who fail to prevent their daughters and sisters and wives from interacting with men, which results in shame and ostracisation by the community.

They argued that women who feared their male relatives never committed such acts and therefore never had to face such consequences. In short, the khap panchayat representatives overtly defended ‘honour killings’.

Source: http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opi...910392176.html

Love:

"Our culture is not like you have in the city. Here our women live behind curtains," said a young man in the crowd.

"The village doesn't approve of love affairs here. They were from the same caste, lived in the same lane in the same village," said another.

The man and the woman belonged to the same Jat community and shared the same gotra - the sub-caste - which made them brother and sister, he explained politely.

I took a round of the village to explore if anyone had differing views. I found none. The neighbouring villages too approved of the killings.

They all said they would not allow young men and women to fall in love as this would "dilute their values".

Some spoke of the "decadent western" culture of urban India and how it conflicted with the old, traditional values of rural India where falling in love is taboo.

Source: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-24170866

If these are the sort of people introducing OP to the topic ... perhaps we should slowly edge away from obsessively controlling our relationships. Or we could just throw another widow on the BBQ?

India’s most infamous Sati case took place in the village of Devrala exactly 22 years ago. 18-year-old Roop Kanwar committed Sati on the funeral pyre of her husband right here in the centre of the village in 1987. It shocked the entire nation, and it strengthened the laws against Sati. Yet the villagers of Devrala have erected a makeshift shrine to Roop Kanwar . So even though the practice itself is banned, the glorification of Sati lives on.

In fact, India has at least 250 Sati temples, including 11 in the district of Sikar alone. Women who commit Sati are worshipped as Sati Devi or a goddess. In Hindu tradition, Sati is an act of piety, and is said to purge a woman of all accumulated sin. No wonder then that villagers from the surrounding region visit this temple for her blessings.

The priest of one such temple, Makhan Sharma, says that once a woman becomes a Sati, she attains healing powers.

“Her respected status means that people’s prayers are answered. That’s why people come here from all around. Our pain and diseases are healed through her blessings.”

Source: https://www.rt.com/news/india-ritual-suicide-sati/

[May90]

No? Both spouses can work and enjoy their life. However, there is no need for extra curriculars that constitute emotional cheating.

There is no "need" for anything, humans just need to eat, drink and sleep, everything else is optional. A life limited to only these things is pretty sorry, though...

*raises hand* Tell me not to do something and I will do it, if only for spite. I take orders from no one and no "partner" is going to tell me where I can and can't look. That's not how relationships work.

That's probably how some relationships work. Those relationships don't sound like much fun though.

[Mistame]

TThat's probably how some relationships work. Those relationships don't sound like much fun though.

Wrong inflection of "work". (IE, controlling relationships typically fail) Suppose I should have emphasized "work".

[Stelio Kontos]

[May90]

Wrong inflection of "work". (IE, controlling relationships typically fail) Suppose I should have emphasized "work".

You never know: some people are into S&M stuff!