Do women not like nice guys?

[Zervek]

I'm 25. I have my own place, a good job, car, and I workout everyday. Yet, whenever I approach a woman I deem attractive, they always give me the same excuses as to why they don't want to go out with me. "I have a boyfriend", "You're a good guy but I don't feel that way toward you", etc. I've even gone to all of my female co-workers and asked if any of them would like to go on a date with me. I was rejected, by all of them.

It doesn't make any sense because work would seem like THE place to approach someone for a relationship. We both share a common interest which is some of the main advice I've received about getting into a relationship. It doesn't seem to work because even though we have a common interest, my co-workers are not attracted to me. Yet, I see them always checking out the more attractive guys I work with and talk to them a lot throughout the day.

I compliment women, hold open doors for them, treat them with respect. I don't seem to be getting anything in return here. I treat them like humans but no one wants to be with me. I have confidence but I always see jerks and those who do the complete opposite of what I do seem to get more dates than I do. What do I need to do differently to get into a relationship? Is the main thing that matters looks? I'd consider myself below average if that is the case.

[Dangg]

Being "nice" isn't a special trait

Everybody can be nice

If you describe yourself as a "nice guy" it's likely you have nothing going for you

Women like to date nice man if they happen to have other desireable qualities.

[Celista]

Keep doing all of those things. Being a nice polite human is something we should all do, not because we expect to get a date out of it. Don't date at work, expand your social circle and try meeting people in other settings.

[Moadar]

No one sane wants to date a coworker.

Also your description of things makes you seem like you came off creepy.

[Katie N]

Do you mean Nice Guys™ or nice guys?

[Zervek]

Being "nice" isn't a special trait

Everybody can be nice

If you describe yourself as a "nice guy" it's likely you have nothing going for you

But I am a successful person. Is that not what a lot of people want? I don't really describe myself as nice, but women themselves have. I don't understand why they would say something like that but constantly reject me when I show interest in them

[Celista]

Being "nice" isn't a special trait

Everybody can be nice

If you describe yourself as a "nice guy" it's likely you have nothing going for you

Being nice is better than being an asshole, at least. Everybody CAN be nice, but not everyone is.

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But I am a successful person. Is that not what a lot of people want? I don't really describe myself as nice, but women themselves have. I don't understand why they would say something like that but constantly reject me when I show interest in them

Why are you limiting your dating pool to work scenarios, when people often avoid dating work colleagues due to either corporate policy or awkwardness at work, if you should ever break up?

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Do you mean Nice Guys™ or nice guys?

Thinking the former based on his follow-up statement about not getting a reward via a date for being nice.

[Zervek]

Being nice is better than being an asshole, at least. Everybody CAN be nice, but not everyone is.

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Why are you limiting your dating pool to work scenarios, when people often avoid dating work colleagues due to either corporate policy or awkwardness at work, if you should ever break up?

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Thinking the former based on his follow-up statement about not getting a reward via a date for being nice.

Well I am not only limiting it to work. I went with work first because it was the most convenient place where I'm around women and actually have something in common with them. Believe me, I have tried things like Tinder. I have received less than 10 matches in an entire year.

[Pickynerd]

Being nice is a great way to pick up a whore. Anything more than a booty call is going to take a lot of commitment.

[Azadina]

But I am a successful person. Is that not what a lot of people want? I don't really describe myself as nice, but women themselves have. I don't understand why they would say something like that but constantly reject me when I show interest in them

So, because someone thinks you may be nice, they should be obligated to date you, should you show interest in doing so? Why exactly?

Answering the following question might help you understand: have you dated everyone you didn't deem interesting?

[Wyrt]

Women expect guys to have common human decency and don't consider it to be a special trait because it's common human decency.

Though most of the guys that complain about women not liking nice guys are raging assholes.

[Devilyaki]

Don’t bother, they are not worth the hassle.

[Moadar]

Being nice is better than being an asshole, at least.

Woman rarely seem to want to date a doormat, being nice but having a healthy mix of jerk keeps them interested.

[Sturmbringe]

You are looking for women in the wrong place.

I suggest you go for holidays in the Philippines or in Cuba or in Santo Domingo or in Venezuela. There you are going to understand how much value you have as a western male to women (not western women), not to mention that you are going to meet some of the most beautiful exotic women you have ever seen.

IMO, trying to get a woman chez toi is just a waste of time and not worth the hassle. The women chez toi are giving you a hint and you should take it. Just move on. There are millions of beautiful women all over the world who would be honored to be with you. Think out of the box.

[Celista]

Well I am not only limiting it to work. I went with work first because it was the most convenient place where I'm around women and actually have something in common with them. Believe me, I have tried things like Tinder. I have received less than 10 matches in an entire year.

I haven't used Tinder but it seems really shallow, from my understanding you're swiping left or right based on a photo...if you're average looking or below, try meeting people in new settings so they can get a sense of your personality.

Try Meetup, I've heard good things.

[Morden]

Because "nice guys" often come off as insincere, creepy or desperate. None of which is tempting to any half way sane woman. Most favour arseholes because while they are in fact arseholes... the women know what they are getting themselves into. Most serial killers come across as "nice guys."

Focus on yourself, having a good time and actually building up a circle of friends which include females... because that way they will likely introduce you to people who they think would suit you.

[hakujinbakasama]

Ok I'll be brutally honest..
Hot bitches do not like nice guys. Hot bitches like hot guys who treat them like shit.

After many years of hard living, abuse, and joy ridding, hot bitches stop being hot and settle with a nice guy. Thank Christ for Facebook...its a window of awesomness.

There are women who like nice guys but by and large they also like "a man." Most nice guys are trying to be some born of skinny jeans and flannel which most women do not find appealing..


Long and short of it, stop watching Buzzfeed unless you live in 1 of 4 retarded cities in the USA.

[Deleted]

But I am a successful person. Is that not what a lot of people want? I don't really describe myself as nice, but women themselves have. I don't understand why they would say something like that but constantly reject me when I show interest in them

Being successful does not mean you'll get them ladies

a homeless person can have a SO, so can a guy like me too.

by naming my self, i'd say:
ugly (I have NOT won the generic lottery!)
poor
a past that just means problems (family related)
etc etc etc

But yet, i have been with the same girl since 2010, now engaged.

mate, a little advice i can give ya'

Just be you, the girl of your life will come, sooner or later.

If i can get my dream girl, so can you.

[Zervek]

Being nice is a great way to pick up a whore. Anything more than a booty call is going to take a lot of commitment.

I have no problems with commitment. So are you saying I need to be more like, assertive? Maybe do like friendly putdowns?

So, because someone thinks you may be nice, they should be obligated to date you, should you show interest in doing so? Why exactly?

Answering the following question might help you understand: have you dated everyone you didn't deem interesting?

Well I don't think they should be obligated but they should at least give me a chance. I personally have never been in a relationship nor have I had any real sexual experience

Women expect guys to have common human decency and don't consider it to be a special trait because it's common human decency.

Though most of the guys that complain about women not liking nice guys are raging assholes.

What other special things do I need to have for someone to deem me attractive? I have a good body because I workout so often. Is that not something?

[Celista]

Woman rarely seem to want to date a doormat, being nice but having a healthy mix of jerk keeps them interested.

I had a guy try to pull that on me and I gtfo'd out...yeah no one should be a doormat, male or female, but most women like being treated well. The thing with both men and women is that attraction occurs when there's space in interactions for feelings to grow, so instead of acting like a dick try seeming less available (whether due to hobbies or work or other women if not yet committed, up to you).