Is it cheap to want to split or pay each for themselves on dates?

[Nitro Fun]

Is it cheap to expect that people will split or pay for themselves when you're dating? I was called cheap for suggesting splitting the bill. Is it actually cheap?

[Stelio Kontos]

If you invite, you pay. That's how I do it for dates and for hanging out with friends.

Once I've started a steady relationship with a woman I'm fine if she wants to pay time to time as a treat, but I'm fine with paying for the initial dates. I'm far from poor, and honestly, having money and not being a cheapskate does seem to help with some women. it's a win-win for me, I either get a the start of a good relationship, a short-term fling/one nighter, or a fun evening at the sort of places I would go even if it was just me.

[Captain N]

It depends on the date and where you met the person from.

I met my wife on Plenty of Fish -- our first date was to play pool and have a drink or two. Since it was our first meeting we agreed to split the bill. I paid for the first hour of pool and she bought the first round and then I bought the next round and she bought the second hour of pool.

If it's someone you know and are asking them out for the first time I think that puts the onus on you to pay for the date. That being said individual results will vary and if you're worried about it you should talk to the person about it.

[durenas]

Is it cheap to expect that people will split or pay for themselves when you're dating? I was called cheap for suggesting splitting the bill. Is it actually cheap?

This is one of the few cases where gender expectations don't favor the male. It is expected that by default the male will pay for the date unless the female offers to go dutch. It doesn't look good for you to suggest she pay her own way without giving her the opportunity to suggest it herself. You should always be prepared to pay for the date yourself.

[chazus]

I usually just pay for meals because it doesn't affect me one way or another, and just makes the entire process/drama of who pays out of the situation. Granted I haven't gone on 'dates' in a looooong time, it's still the case. I usually just pay.

[Katie N]

Yes, it's cheap. Can also make some think you are poor. xD

[Ghostpanther]

If you invite, you pay. That's how I do it for dates and for hanging out with friends.

Once I've started a steady relationship with a woman I'm fine if she wants to pay time to time as a treat, but I'm fine with paying for the initial dates. I'm far from poor, and honestly, having money and not being a cheapskate does seem to help with some women. it's a win-win for me, I either get a the start of a good relationship, a short-term fling/one nighter, or a fun evening at the sort of places I would go even if it was just me.

This. Do not invite me to a expensive restaurant and then expect me to pay for it.

[Jonnusthegreat]

I'm unflattered by women that can't afford to survive. I'll generally offer the first round of drinks, then I suggest she get the second. If she says no, then I know we're done.

[Queen of Hamsters]

If I ask someone out, I expect to pay.

If they ask me out, I will offer to pay but the guy tends to wanna be the one "treating". I'll never assume though.

[Deleted]

i suppose it depends on what type of girl/woman youre dating.
the woman im in a relationship with went for the cheapest option on our first date, despite me saying she could have anything she wants, just so the bill wasnt as expensive as it could have been.
even now when we go out, she will ask to pay half (which i dont accept).

[Katie N]

I'm unflattered by women that can't afford to survive. I'll generally offer the first round of drinks, then I suggest she get the second. If she says no, then I know we're done.

What does not afford to survive have to do with paying on dates? xD

[Xar226]

I don't consider it cheap, but I also wouldn't do it. On the flip side, I think it's nice of the other person to offer to pay half though I wouldn't accept.

[Halyon]

No...whyever would it be. I usually insist to pay for myself unless it's specific occasions or something... And even then, I tend to pay for my own drinks, since they're expensive.

[Cheze]

I'm happy to pay, and usually do for the first couple of dates/meets/whatever without even discussing it

but if it's like date three or four and the other person hasn't even offered to pay for drinks, well. Tells me all I need to know, really

[Fayolynn]

If you invite, you pay. That's how I do it for dates and for hanging out with friends.

Doesn't make sense in the world we live in, bills should be split/people pay their own way unless its stated clearly that you are paying for them.

"Want to go get dinner?" = Split

"Can I take you to dinner" = I pay

[Jonnusthegreat]

What does not afford to survive have to do with paying on dates? xD

If they can't pay for things in a social setting then they aren't surviving.

[Deleted]

In the spirit of Feminism and Equality I never pay for my dates at all and only pay for myself.


For some reason women don't like that, must be the Patriarchy

[Stelio Kontos]

Doesn't make sense in the world we live in, bills should be split/people pay their own way unless its stated clearly that you are paying for them.

"Want to go get dinner?" = Split

"Can I take you to dinner" = I pay

Well, I'm rather traditional, and do enjoy my male gender roles. So I do like to provide and pay for folks I care about. I've had no issue paying for friends when going out to drink or eat, and I find I usually have better dates if I'm generous and fun rather than bitter, parsimonious, and treating a woman like an adversary.

[Jonnusthegreat]

Well, I'm rather traditional, and do enjoy my male gender roles. So I do like to provide and pay for folks I care about. I've had no issue paying for friends when going out to drink or eat, and I find I usually have better dates if I'm generous and fun rather than bitter, parsimonious, and treating a woman like an adversary.

I'd rather treat them like an equal than an object to be spoiled with generosity.

[munkeyinorbit]

Is it cheap to expect that people will split or pay for themselves when you're dating? I was called cheap for suggesting splitting the bill. Is it actually cheap?

Yes it is. You want the girl, you pay for the meal and entertainment. That is how it works. You cannot afford to do this? Take yourself out of the dating pool. You are not good enough to be there.