I am a very fortunate person in a lot of ways. I have one of the best friends someone could ever hope for, I've worked hard and finally landed an awesome job, and soon I'll be debt-free.
Yet, for my entire life, I've struggled with hating myself. Hating my appearance, that I don't stand up for myself more, how I never seem to be able to connect romantically with women (recognizing that it must be some flaw on my part)... The list goes on.
I'm a 30 year-old man, and I guess I just always thought by now, these things wouldn't bother me. It feels so weird to be a grown man, and still constantly battle these insecurities. In some ways, I probably come off as a "regular joe", maybe even a bit gruff, but other times, I just feel so, so fragile. I obsess over things I hate about myself, over my appearance, what kind of person I wish that I was... and even though my life has gotten worlds better the past few years, I still feel the same.
I wonder, have any of you ever struggled with these issues? Does it ever get better? I'm so terrified that I'm going to wind up sabotaging the only good things in my life, because I just can't seem to handle these emotions. And I also worry, having met a woman I feel I share a genuine connection with, that I'm going to fuck it up, either by being "unconfident/unsexy" or even "needy", hoping for someone who can fill the void that I feel has always been in my life.