What are your opinions on beating your children?

[Techno-Druid]

That's precisely because we have that kind of people who think "ouin-ouin it's child abuse" we have a pussy sjw generation and a rampant crime rising all over the world.

By most accounts outside of a few specific areas, youth-related crime is in decline in both the US and UK and other things such as teen pregnancy are at a three decade low.

Don't just take my word for it...

https://www.economist.com/news/brita...n-faster-among

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2...-crime-decline

http://www.justicepolicy.org/mobile/news/9854

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices...e-9387380.html

And what if none of that works? What if they continue to act out? Just chalk it up to "oh well, shitty kid"? My issue with people who are vehemently against any kind of physical punishment think everything will be fine if you just talk to your kids. Sometimes that doesn't work. Sometimes kids are super stubborn, that's just their personality and there's nothing you can do about it. This leads to parents just giving up or giving in, which I think is a bad decision.

And what if spanking doesn't work either?

[Talon8669]

This seem to be a highly split topic, at least when it comes to Americans, so I'd like to discuss it.

Do you beat your kids? Or are you completely against it?

I'm completely against it. I can't see it helping in any way. In my country, Sweden, it's illegal anyway and even a slight slap on the butt are grounds for a police report for child abuse and your losing your child, so even if I were for it I wouldn't have the choice to do so.

From my experience, it's always the children who were beaten that grow up to become monsters, or at least mentally unstable and rude brats.

I don't think anyone is split on beating them, maybe spanking, but definitely not beating.

[Paraka]

Kids misbehaving in public is something of all times, but what baffles me today is that parents ignore it and don't correct them in any way.

Sometimes they even praise them

From my understanding is cause they cannot. Its considered abuse.

Verbal, emotional and physical response is considered abuse in a lot of people's eyes from the outside.

It's why I had a defacing of my house with words like "child molester" and "hang in hell" spraypainted on my house when word got out that I gave my god daughter her ultimatum; burn one of her favorite toys or I burn 3. Because calling her mother a cunt is not something you can take back, and an action where restricting toys or extracurricular activities that are returned once they've been "nice" just wouldn't make the point needed. I only ever had to do that twice in her life.

She is 16 now, master in tae kwon do and has a few reports and placing some prepubescent boys back in their place for their unwarranted actions. But surely it is not cause of her abusive upbringing that others on the outside see looking in.

[Uncle]

If you're going to claim such things then I suggest you back thoes with some actual facts. A few studies or som actual statistics.
But you won't, will you? Becuase you're not actually here to discuss anything, just to piss people off, yeah?

Isn't what you are actualy doing?

[Demona3]

Spanking is a last resort for us. Normal punishments include grounding off the Switch / other games for my oldest. For my youngest (who is 6), her favorite stuffed animal gets a time out in our freezer. Sounds stupid, but it works really well.

[Deathknightish]

Beating? No.

a hand slap or a little slap to the cheek or bottom is sometimes necessary, though.

anyone who says words work with kids doesn't have kids. or they're ok raising little pussy pop beanie babies.

It's completely illegal here in Sweden, and most of Europe, and we turn out fine without becoming spoiled, entitled brats as adults.

You don't need to slap your kids, no matter what they've done.

[Lens Hunter]

And what if spanking doesn't work either?

Answering my question with a question. Nice deflection.

[Paraka]

It's completely illegal here in Sweden, and most of Europe, and we turn out fine without becoming spoiled, entitled brats as adults.

You don't need to slap your kids, no matter what they've done.

Not entirely sure you speak for all Swedes, cause I have met a few going through college who were pretty damn entitled to a point they've ruined events with their actions.

[Deathknightish]

Not entirely sure you speak for all Swedes, cause I have met a few going through college who were pretty damn entitled to a point they've ruined events with their actions.

Well, obviously there are asshats among everyone. As a whole, we are a very well-functioning society with properly mannered people. Not like other countries aren't, I'm just rying to bring forth that you don't need to spank your children to become a successful country with well-liked people.

[Speaknoevil]

You betray your children if you use physical violence of any kind on them, of course there are degrees of this.

[Dethavin]

You know I have to say that some of the responses on this subject/post was enough to make me come out of near perfect lurker mode of many many years. That is honestly saying something.

First, I would like to set the record straight as many others already have in this thread that there is a huge difference between "beating" and "spanking" a child. You can try to debate that point until you are blue in the face but there is a HUGE difference.

As a child of the 80's who grew up in the last(and best imo) generation of parenting where corporal punishment was still the accepted norm like... everywhere. You younger people/generations need to understand a few things here. Spanking or the PC term of corporal punishment was a normal everyday way of life since time immemorial... literally. There is a reason why my generation and the generations before me, meaning people in there early to mid 30's and older still say yes sir, no sir, hold the door open for ladies, who respect their elders and so many other fine traditions that were not so long ago considered the normal way to act and or present yourself to others in a respectable manner. Now you have children who are anywhere from 5-18 who throw these massive screaming tantrums in stores on a regular basis, tell their parents to stfu in public, scream and curse out their parents and do literally whatever they want and act like little terrors and the parent just sits there and goes "Oh Johnny thats not okay!" And say silly ass stuff like... Lets go to our happy place or you are going to get a timeout or they try to bribe their kids with sweets or foods or toys to try and get them to behave which is literally doing nothing but enabling them to do it again in the future because they know they will get rewarded with either attention or material objects to get them to behave like they normally should. And this boys and girls is what led to the term entitlement being directed at younger people as well as the lack of manners, respect and everything else. This type of acting out is common and seen all over nowadays while when I was a child/teenager... this was a very very rare thing and if it did happen you saw a child get his ass swatted right there in the middle of the store or wherever and that was 100% accepted as long as it was just that.

Honestly I am personally amazed at what has become illegal and 100% hated and or met with statements like I have seen in this post "If you touch your child in anyway you deserve to be in jail!" I mean what? Spanking your child as long as it done in a mature and disciplined manner is and always will be more effective then "Honey lets go to your safe place you seem to be upset!" When your child is screaming and cursing you out. If that was me in my childhood I would of had a good spanking as well as a bar of soap in my mouth which did happen on a couple of occasions which in the end taught me to A respect my parents and B not to curse at or around my parents. Because they did it in a non hostile abusive manner. I wasnt covered in bruises but yes my ass was sore for a hour and I had the taste of soap in my mouth for a couple of hours... Do I think they were wrong? Hell no it taught me very fast that acting out and or doing things I knew I shouldnt do in the first place was going to have serious consequences. I and a hell of a lot of other children during that time period and way before that had to actually think about our actions before we did stupid crap. On the flip side I do think there is a line and that it shouldnt be crossed. Should you spank your child with crazy ass things like wire hangers, sticks, wooden spoons? No because I had to deal with that as well and that is just abusive.

I would just like to once again point out and stress that corporal punishment was the standard way of raising children for like ever.. Yes it should only be done in the most extreme cases but it was used for a good reason and it wasnt until the late 90's when this whole "Omg spanking is such a terrible thing and it should be illegal!" that we have what we have now in terms of how a lot of younger people act and that sadly is a fact. In the end it seems that a lot of traditions which made us who we are, are now being thrown away and or branded as immoral or illegal even though they were the standard of life for generations beyond remembering. In the end I feel sorry for those in the future because this world is headed toward a place where everyone is going to be over emotional, over sensitive, and expect everything to be handed to them and the concept of respect, manners and treating others with dignity and grace will be a thing of the past. /rant

tl;dr Spanking is fine as long as its just that.

[Deleted]

Just give 'em a good old nipple twister instead.

[Techno-Druid]

Answering my question with a question. Nice deflection.

Okay, if none of those methods work then there might be a deeper issue, or your child may simply be different and require a parenting styled specifically tailored to them. If fear is the only thing keeping a child from doing something after a certain age then that's generally not a good thing. I (and I suppose you as well) do not murder people just because we fear of going to prison, we don't murder people because it's an abhorrent thing to do from a moral standpoint.

For example, take a child sharing for example, ideally a child should be able to share out of a sense of altruism and not just because of the threat of punishment.


Your turn...

[AeneasBK]

"Beating" your kids is obviously completely fucked up.

A little chastisement, on the otherhand, probably necessary as part of boundary setting.

[Hunterwep]

Beating or a spank on the butt?

Young kids often don't understand reason, I'm not saying you should take your belt off and scar whip them into submission.
But a tap on the butt depending on the "crime" should be OK. Doesn't harm the kid.

Also for all the people being against this, bless you for never having to deal with totally out of control children.
I challenge you to go to one of those homes where they are taken in, and use your wise wisdom of reasoning with them

[Independent voter]

Toddlers are like drunks only technically they're sober.

Drunks do all kinds of weird shit. Do what you got to do until they're old enough to understand you when you talk to them, when they sober up so to speak.

[Kapadons]

Depends on the kid. My daughter (who was a well behaved child ) responded to the rare light swat on the butt better . My son (who can be hell on wheels ) will laugh in your face if you pop his butt. He responded much better to being sent to his room or have his toy/iPad taken away.

No one parenting style is better than the next and each needs to be tailored to each individual kid. I don’t advocate corporal punish and have very rarely used it myself , but I’m also not so self-righteous and naive enough to not realize the occasional pop on the ass is a cheap,fast,effective tool to behavior modification for some kids.

Some adults need a swift kick in the ass or slap to the face too, but that another story.

[Tico]

You shouldn't. There a a plenty other ways to discipline.

[lummiuster]

I always find it funny when people say stuff like " I was spanked and I turned out fine"

You were spanked and grew up to be a person who thinks it is ok to beat children. I wouldn't call that "fine"

Absolutely no fuckin logic in your comment.

[Deleted]

Beating up child or people is not okay at all
A little spank however could be necessary sometimes

I mean I remember as a child I just loved people who couldn't do shit to me, because it meant I could annoy the hell out of them without any real repercussion.
Because to me it's basically people with no authority.
Had an aunt like that, I loved when she was "baby-sitting" me, because the only thing she would do when I was being a little brat was "Go to your bedroom and don't come out !" or "You won't have any dessert". I remember thinking "Why would I care to have any dessert if I can continue doing stupid things around the house ?" or "Well I'll just don't go to my bedroom it's not like you can force me".
Same with teachers in elementary, sometimes I was so annoying they had to put me in an empty classroom x)

I think people don't realize that some child (Like I was) are just some vicious little assholes who just wants to fuck with you if there are no real consequence.
Good thing my parents on the other hand were a little bit less tolerant and I got spanked a few times when I went too far xD

But thank god, not every child is like that.