List all the stupid injuries you have had?

[Deleted]

or strange

off the top of my head

cut head after hitting my head on a large road sign

brother tripped me which caused a scar

got stabbed with a pen which caused bleeding

got hit with a cricket ball

fell off the middle of a slide.

[SL1200]

Broke my dick in half.

[Theoris]

Held the wrong end of a mechanical pencil and stabbed myself in the hand (I still have a tiny grey dot on the spot where the lead penetrated the skin)

Punched a plate and got a nasty cut on my knuckle - had to get 6 stitches (also got a scar from that)


There's probably more, but those two are the ones that really stand out.

[NED funded]

Broken heart

[jackofwind]

Kicked a bottle barefoot, got broken glass embedded between my middle toes.

Tried to stack folding chairs too high, broke my wrist when they fell on me.

Jumped ass-first onto an old chair to knock the seat out of it, got a huge cut up my tailbone from an old nail sticking out.

Played bloody knuckles with a sharpened coin, got cut up knuckles as a result. Really fucked up a friend's pinky tendon doing that too.

Many old biking/skateboarding injuries.

[Powerogue]

Usually I'm pretty damn careful, but that's only because of an incident when I was still small, stupid, and acrobatic where I did a flip and landed on my face. Several stitches later, I've done quite a bit more to avoid such injuries, and haven't had one since.

[Nyoken]

Cracked my head open, got stabbed through the hand with a nail, got second degree burns on both my hands twice + my face and chest. Broke every finger on both my hands. broke my foot. Had a tendon ripped off in the middle finger on my left hand. Got pushed off my bike into like a ditch/hole next to the road and crushed my shoulder and got a concussion. Sliced 3 of my fingers up so u could see all the way to the bone. Flew off my bike at high speed down hill and injured my knees badly, landed directly on them, can still feel some pain every now and then inside the knees. Stepped on something when I was smaller, caused my whole foot to swell up, had to visit the hospital for that. Twisted my testicles around so I needed surgery. Got bit by my dogs when they were in a fight with each other, had to step in to move them apart, got bit in the hand so it started bleeding. My grandpa when we were out fishing when I was younger hit me in my face with a oar so I broke my nose and fell down in the water. Fell down inbetween a boat bridge and it ripped most of my skin off on the knee. Twisted my tendon off in the foot when I was out running, had to have a cast for 2 months. Got hit in the face with a baseball bat pretty hard, bruised half the face up. Got hit in the eye with a sharp floorball stick so I almost went blind.

Just at the top of my head...know theres more stuff... just too tired to come to think of it now

[Dacien]

Tried to do a frontside boardslide at a skate park, and as soon as my board made contact with the rail, I flew off backwards and landed on my wrist, snapping it.

Drilling a hole through wood with an 1.5 inch auger when it bound up. Got my chin nice and close to the drill for a better stance (yes I was using a drill with a 1.5 inch auger bit, don't ask), and as soon as I hit the trigger the entire drill snapped sideways and knocked me in the chin so hard I saw stars, and nearly fell off the ladder. That one stayed hurting for a while.

And finally, I just bought a $250 knife because it sounded like a really good idea on a Saturday night, and I picked it up today. Promptly cut my finger closing it for the first time.

[Deleted]

I kinda feel a little bit boring in comparison to these other posts!

I cracked my head open once or twice, and got some pretty gnarly first degree burns being out in the sun without protection as one of the palest guys you'll ever see but that's about it

[Archon14]

When I was a kid, I found some broken glass in the snow, and decided to take a piece and use it to write something on the snow (kid logic).

Now I have a scar on one of my fingers.

[Ayirasi]

A few: Fractured 5th metacarpal from punching a wall, bruised pubic bone being a bit too enthusiastic while boning, a friend threw a rock at my feet and a piece of it splintered off and gashed open my shin, pulled a muscle in my back when I was walking down the street drunk, stepped over a sleeping dog and it clamped down onto my inner thigh, got stung in the ass by an albino scorpion in an outdoor shower, and...

I was putting together a toy car that had wheels pushed onto a small metal rod, and what was supposed to end up a []-----[] turned into a [][]---- that stuck into one hand.

[Najnaj]

Cot a deep wound in my arm on a toilet paper holder... Was sitting on the toilet and ice cold water all of a sudden came up and sprayed my ass. Got shocked and flailed my arms around a little to wide and hard.

The dumbest injury I have ever seen was a man trying to crush a bottle with his foot. He was wearing classic converse shoes. When the bottle broke it damned neat cut his foot off. DO NOT DO THIS!

[RampageBW1]

I do not remember it, but supposedly my right wrist broke when I fell off a couch when I was real little.

A "friend" flung a piece of broken glass at me and it ended up hitting my eye lid. HURT LIKE HELL! Had to wear an eyepatch for a while. Upside was that I could role play as a Pirate, YARR! And before you ask, I can still see out of the eye just fine. I was worried at the time I would lose it, but thankfully it didn't screw up my vision too badly.

Stabbed my leg with a pencil. Still have a mark.

Cut open my chin when I fell down during a round of Bowling. Still have the scar.

While (playfully) chasing kids around a playground at school, I ran in to a horizontal bar, teeth first. That ALSO hurt like hell. I don't think I could eat hot or cold foods for a week or two after that.

Got bit by a Dog on my right hand. Fuck that hurt like hell. Have a 'V' shaped scar where it happened.

Touched a Car Cigarette Lighter, didn't think it'd get hot if the Car was turned off... I was wrong.

There's probably more, but that's all I can think of right now.

[PACOX]

Staple in my fingertip, twice. Playing with one of those carpenter staplers, once at Home Depot and once at home. Told both times to stop playing with the staplers. Staples along the width of my fingernails both times.

Also if you've ever been to a Checkers you know they have to little metal dividers. I stuck my head through one and got it stuck. Because I was specifically told to do it, I waned my head back through it before my mom could see...minor bruises along my head...

[Charge me Doctor]

Broke two ribs after not being confident on my bike riding downhill. 10 years later after fighting off the fear of doing it again - did it again but broke a thumb because i didn't let go the handles after back wheel lost clutch with ground

[Laerrus]

Broken heart

Think of them suffering from constipation and trying their damnedest to pinch one off on the toilet. That's one way to get over it quickly.

When I was 5, I had a rock accidentally thrown at my head by my 3-year-old friend (we were trying to fight off 2nd grade bullies). It cut me pretty good as I had blood running down my head and onto my shirt from it. I tried asking for help from these two old Korean ladies (We were on Osan AFB in Korea), but they didn't speak English and looked at me weird. Luckily one of my father's officer buddies rode by on his bicycle and saw me. I was taken to the base hospital and got some stitches.

In the 1st grade, I took my scissors and threw them up in the air spinning to catch them, I missed. I still have the scars from where they punctured my thigh.

Sliced open my middle finger when I was a teenager while playing around with an architects knife.

Compression fracture in L3 by wiping out while water skiing. This was only my 2nd day behind the boat and dad was pissed off at me for some bullshit reason. I know that fucker did it on purpose. We never got it treated. I didn't find out about it till I was 38 and got an x-ray at the chiropractors.

Sliced my leg open with a box cutter while putting canned goods on the shelf at my first job. We closed it with a butterfly bandage, I went home and changed my jeans and came back to work.

Sliced off the tip of my thumb while making a roast beef sandwich at the Hardees I worked at back in the 90's. Lucky it was small enough that it regenerated back, but if you look close enough you can still see where I cut it. Thank fully that was one of the last food service jobs I ever worked at.

[Darya]

Kicked my toe against a door frame, broke my toe.

Opened freezer door on my toe, toe turned blue and the nail fell off.

Burned my hand after drilling in an iron bar and grabbing it instantly after I was done, the bar was really hot.

Hood on the car closed on my thumb by accident, broke my thumb.

[Afrospinach]

I was trying to repair my electric windows on my car that an auto electrician failed to do a while back.

To wind the window back up without the aid of the switch I decided to grab a piece of metal from a clothes line peg(the springy coil like thing). It can be bent to bridge the connections in the connectors and if you get the right on your window should wind up. Since it was so springy I was holding on to it pretty damned tight with my finger and thumb, but unfortunately I managed to bridge the ground and live wire shorting out the car battery. Before I could react the coil from the clothes peg was glowing bright red lol. I was a bit worried because there was no pain at all initially but I got left with a coil shaped burn on my finger and thumb that took two months to heal. Did not lose any feeling though lol even if it felt touch and go for a couple of weeks.

And yeah, where the auto electrician failed after getting paid to fix the damned windows I succeeded. Then a few days later I sold the car to a wreckers because of a flake who wouldn't follow through with an auction Priceless effort.

[Cerilis]

...instinctively went to pull the plug of an electric kettle when it was done "to be safe", but passed over the steam coming out of it burning my wrist.

[Delaios]

Was resting my arms on my legs while playing mobile games on the toilet. Played a bit too long and my legs got numb. Wanted to stand up, didn't feel that my foot was stuck on my pants, put weight on that foot and ended up breaking it.