Herd, Loner, or somewhere inbetween?

[shadowmouse]

I was an only child and we moved a lot when I was young. I learned to fit in and even play well with others, but I'm not a herd type in the slightest. On the other hand, I've been in China for nearly 20 years and I've made a point of studying cross culture interaction. In the abstract, I can discuss high and low context cultures or the Lewis Model. I can pick out patterns and have had some success both in applying theories and helping others to do so.

Yeah, I also really like tigers. I've read a lot about them, I used to sponsor them, I've even gotten to hold a young one. At a guess, I'd find an encounter with even a fat, happy, and well fed tiger in the wild to be a far different experience.

This was my year to find myself pulled into the herd aspect of living here instead of just being on the fringes. Long story made somewhat short, I stepped on something and got hit with a nasty, antibiotic resistant infection. I ended up losing four toes, going through eight operations, and spending months bedridden in the hospital. That's when people that I have known for years started stepping in to fill in for family. Chinese hospitals expect you to have an almost constant group of family to take care of you, and they felt sorry for me being "all alone".

It has been weird. It has been heartwarming, I can see how things line up with theory, but ... I'm just not a herd person. I've been here long enough to adjust, I wouldn't say I'm a die hard loner, but at best I'm somewhere in between.

So (hold on a sec, you know the poll will take a while to show up), how do you fit on the scale? As a follow-up, how would you feel if you were put into an environment that was more herd (or loner) than you are used to?

[Dwarfhamster]

I voted for the choice closest to me--wearing underwear on my head--because I would be wearing underwear on my head *if* I wore underwear.

[Independent voter]

I'll go with "none of the above".

[Techno-Druid]

It depends entirely on how I feel.

[Adapter]

I'm wondering - why would anyone chose to make a public poll instead of an anonymous one?

[Weeps]

It'll be interesting to see the children of parents born in the 1980s and how they develop as adults.

More screen time (pc, laptop, ipad, iphone, etc), more depressive tendencies and social problems. This will manifest itself in critical manner 10 years from now.

People born in the 80s saw the meteoric rise of technology. Already, we see problems within this age group but less severe. Imagine 10 years from now? It'll be so much worse.

Everyone needs a herd. You physically cannot survive without socializing. Your brain will rot. I've seen it happen.

If you're like me, an introvert but not fully introverted... I'm slightly left to center according to this scale, somewhere around 25% or closer to center.


If you're fully anti-social, 100% introverted... you'll be mentally ill at a rate faster than anything else on the spectrum.

It isn't "cool" or "woke" to be a loner. I like my quiet time, I go in a figurative cave and isolate after socializing a lot. But... I always come out happy. You need a healthy mix of alone time and social life.

[Adapter]

I'm going to take a guess and say that this poll posted on a computer gaming forum will have an overwhelming majority of more or less introverted people answering.
Not saying it's "bad", but it would fall in line with what has been already researched.

[Daedius]

Voted the last one. Can be no other answer;

[Weeps]

I'm going to take a guess and say that this poll posted on a computer gaming forum will have an overwhelming majority of more or less introverted people answering.
Not saying it's "bad", but it would fall in line with what has been already researched.

You aren’t wrong. Social life for many of them are MMORPGS like WoW

[shadowmouse]

For anyone wondering how I actually meant "herd" and "loner" scroll down to the end here.

I'm wondering - why would anyone chose to make a public poll instead of an anonymous one?

To take into account the socks and alts. To me, it felt like there has been an uptick since the recent change over in account names.

What does herd oriented or loner oriented mean?

Not just introverted or extroverted, or I would have used those terms. I left it at "herd" or "loner" without going into great detail because I wanted to avoid language that might hold other meanings to people, especially on an international forum where not everyone is a native speaker. I could, for example, have described "herd" as "to be part of a larger whole". It comes down to the high context/low context model, but not everyone knows or agrees with that model even though it is widely taught and used:https://online.seu.edu/high-and-low-context-cultures. I was looking for more of a gut reaction at first, and figured things would either go their own way as discussion developed, or someone would ask as you did.

I've called "herd" what that model would note as the following tendency:

Association: Relationships build slowly and depend on trust. Productivity depends on relationships and the group process. An individual’s identity is rooted in groups (family, culture, work). Social structure and authority are centralized

For "loner" it would be:

Association: Relationships begin and end quickly. Productivity depends on procedures and paying attention to the goal. The identity of individuals is rooted in themselves and their accomplishments. Social structure is decentralized.

@Daedius Yours works too. I was thinking more along the lines of:

[Lochton]

I was an only child and we moved a lot when I was young. I learned to fit in and even play well with others, but I'm not a herd type in the slightest. On the other hand, I've been in China for nearly 20 years and I've made a point of studying cross culture interaction. In the abstract, I can discuss high and low context cultures or the Lewis Model. I can pick out patterns and have had some success both in applying theories and helping others to do so.

Yeah, I also really like tigers. I've read a lot about them, I used to sponsor them, I've even gotten to hold a young one. At a guess, I'd find an encounter with even a fat, happy, and well fed tiger in the wild to be a far different experience.

This was my year to find myself pulled into the herd aspect of living here instead of just being on the fringes. Long story made somewhat short, I stepped on something and got hit with a nasty, antibiotic resistant infection. I ended up losing four toes, going through eight operations, and spending months bedridden in the hospital. That's when people that I have known for years started stepping in to fill in for family. Chinese hospitals expect you to have an almost constant group of family to take care of you, and they felt sorry for me being "all alone".

It has been weird. It has been heartwarming, I can see how things line up with theory, but ... I'm just not a herd person. I've been here long enough to adjust, I wouldn't say I'm a die hard loner, but at best I'm somewhere in between.

So (hold on a sec, you know the poll will take a while to show up), how do you fit on the scale? As a follow-up, how would you feel if you were put into an environment that was more herd (or loner) than you are used to?

I am sadly not able to put a vote, my case is, rather weird.

I am strongly a longer, I want to be on my own, I want to just be. But I want to be there for people. If they need help, I'll jump to help. I've cooked for masses, done people's taxes and more but my price in life is, in the end once the chapter changes, I'd rather be in a cabin till a need that I can fulfill comes once more.

[Chinese Bootlickers]

Loner, kind of, and not by choice. Human interaction has always felt a bit awkward to me. The more I socialize, the more isolated and alien I feel.

[Natta Lmo]

I'm "Herd" oriented, but could adjust to a different environment

[Sunseeker]

Underwear vote!!!

I dislike large numbers of people, but I enjoy the company of a few close friends.

Otherwise people suck.