The solution to the problem of social anxiety requires therapy or medication. You will not find either of those here.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-...t/drc-20353567
The solution to the problem of social anxiety requires therapy or medication. You will not find either of those here.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-...t/drc-20353567
Grand Crusader Belloc <-- 6608 Endless Tank Proving Grounds score! (
Dragonslayer Kooqu
OP, the fact that you got as far as you have in this feature that I don't partake in but frequently preach is "not intended to be PUG'ed" at ANY level... makes me rethink that maybe I'm missing out on something and should try some keys in shadowlands! Well done!
Well, I guess we just have different end goals in mind.
- If your goal is to have fun doing M+ in a safe social environment, that indeed requires guild and friends. But that will substantially hinder your ability to reach higher keys (unless your guild is Limit, Pieces, or the like).
- If your goal is to challenge yourself by reaching the highest keys you can mechanically handle, for fun, then you need to pug a lot. (You can make a premade with people you meet in pugs, but these premades generally do not survive long unless you're already doing at least +24s and up). If you take the path of pugging, that means you're ultra-competitive and you're pugging content with other ultra-competitive players. Some of these players are frustrated by not getting enough progress out of their time investment, and some of them also measure a person's worth by what level keys that person currently plays... So if you have lower score than them - you're not worthy, and if you have higher score - you're boosted. So you ought to see some toxicity or elitism here and there, but not too often. And when you do: (1) you don't have to act the same and answer back to them, (2) remember that you're here to challenge yourself, not find a safe social space... so it should be easy for you to brush aside any toxicity and carry on to the next pug group.
The OP is firmly on the second track right now, so suggesting them to play with guild&friends amounts to suggesting that the OP takes a break. I suppose that's a valid option as well, it's a good time to take a break.
I wrote about the same in another topic recently. It is a valid complaint about the BfA dungeon design. Somehow healer DPS (and utility usage) is far more important than the actual healing. This is just further exacerbated in case of OP who focuses on healing over doing DPS for safety (that's common for pug healers in a couple of keys, I can relate), and who does not get to use the resto druid utility because of insufficient communication.
Last edited by ID811717; 2020-07-16 at 07:46 AM.
Try not to get offended by toxic comments, don't take them to heart. It's easy for people to be toxic in the game since it's all characters on the screen, but most wouldn't say the same things face to face.
Just keep going doing the same thing, 4.4k pugging is pretty good and shows that you're capable of going higher. Add people you like to play with (like that rogue) to your btag friends, and soon enough, you'll build a group of people in your btag friends and start getting whispers from them to join their keys.
flexing? i can see how to people who do not try very hard but want the rio it may seem like im flexing my score but seriously to me my rio is embarrassing for how much i have played and how high i know i can go based on legion world 15
In legion there wasnt much comms needed in the high end bracket there was a routine in every key pretty much
1) have 20% avoidance
2) know when to use defensive/iskars trinket etc
3) if there is difficult trash know your role in the dk mass grip > aoe stun > warlock slow ring > vortex knockback
The difficult part was making sure not to take silly damage to knock your neck shield off (similar to resounding protection now)
I just went a junkyard with a mage who refused to use blazing barrier, apparently me pumping 100kdps as healer is not as important as me spam healing him through whatever fail damage he took, this is the stuff that makes me want to unsub, these guys are 4k+.... 23s are free! i need good players to play with to get further
My advice would be to attempt to leave your comfort zone and communicate to the party if there is a problem or they are misinterpreting your actions. If this social anxiety is actively impacting your every day life, in and out of the game, seek a specialist that can give you advice on how to improve your situation.
People can get careless and indifferent in pugs, and that surely does not help. But you cannot expect everyone to know about the issue you struggle with, in particular people that you see 30 mins to 1 hour and then never again, and especially if the problem cannot be expressed through chat.
I have had people stay completely silent in my M+ runs and that's fine. I have had people not responding to messages addressed to them and that comes off as rude. I have had people not responding and doing consistent mistakes and that's a run breaker.
I get that the situation is not easy for you, but others would have no way to know about it.
When you are running 25 and up you run into a lot of the same people and need to stay on good terms with at least a few, for more than just the good of that run. Trying to find a few set groups to run with is ideal at this point and realistically if somebody is good enough to run these should have groups wanting them to come along unless there is a major issue beyond just game play.
"Privilege is invisible to those who have it."
As someone who doesn't understand social anxiety, can you explain to me what your fear is? Would you feel more comfortable if you were playing with a group of friends? I understand that a guild might be tough for you because that's a lot of new people around you but what about a small group of new friends that were patient and willing to work with you? Also, do you play Horde or Alliance because my friends and I are always looking for a healer for our M+ runs.
make you bed everyday, spend 20-30minutes a day thinking about how straight your spine is, it's all good)
you are one of us, not a an outcast
Shadowlands is real world
The Maw is China
The Jailer is China government
Sylvanas is Blizz
I find the game much more enjoyable when playing with friends (and/or guildmates) than random people, and would highly recommend you try it. Playing with the same people consistently might also help with your social anxiety.
But yes, it is an MMO, and you are doing a group activity. Being social (at least a little) is part of the game (even if it isn't necessary for anything but the high-end).
Have you tried joining some of the voice coms and just using the old excuse "my mic is broken"? Hearing people talk with each other might help you tackle your social anxiety.
What region and faction are you playing?
I agree to the one which you Quoted, make a few "Hello", and "Thanks for the run" macros. If you do a good job, people will Recognize that, and you should get a full Friendlist with decent players. The QuickJoin makes it easy to see if they run something and have a spot for you open.
I dont really know how social anxiety works out and affects people, but I think maybe you get more comfortable around people if you play with them more.
They might be embarrassed about their voice? I was almost deaf as a young child and have a fairly strange accent as an adult now, so I don't like talking on voice comms a tremendous amount.
I can think of plenty of reasons why someone might not want to talk in modern WoW though
Sadly, the majority of the PUG playerbase is extremely toxic. Even if you put things properly, a lot of people dont care. Numbers are lower than they think they should be? Kick.
Your best bet is to find a group of players you want to play with. Join a guild and post your looking for a static 5 man for M+. Social skills only develop over time using them. There are also great reads you can find to help bridge the gap as well.
However, I don't think your problem is communication. I think the problem is the state of the PUG crowd over the past few years. Toxic trash.
Try rerolling a DPS char. You wont get into higher pugs then 15/16.... But i feel you, i make my own PUGS with my key. I see alot of high end key runners failing on simple mechanics. They blame everyone accept them selfs...
If your on EU - Horde, i would play with yah <3