Who is "they"? Republicans? What does being "nice" have to do with anything? I'm confused about this, are you functionally arguing that Republicans are refusing to act in good faith because their base demands it? I fail to see how that alters the fact that they're still not acting in good faith, and should consequently be ignored whenever possible.
Some were, sure. And it's not about "hating" them, it's about treating them as irrelevant because they are fundamentally not a serious political party. Like, at all. See the "BANNING BEEF!" shit, that's some clown show bullshit. What will make it go away is Democrats ignoring their stonewalling and showing voters what happens when you have some competency and an actual vision for the future that's capable of making meaningful improvements in peoples lives.
"Getting shit done", so to say.
Earmarks are an awful, garbage, no-good way of "bipartisanship" that's not actually bipartisan. It doesn't solve any of the problems, and doesn't make Republicans any more serious just because they can snag $10M in federal funding from blue states to rebuild a bridge in their state because their Republican legislature has cut revenues so much that they rely on federal socialism.