Living on my own for the first time.

[Texan Penguin]

So point of discussion- what was getting out on your own for the first time, people of Chat Zone?

Because I'm determining that right now. I'm extremely anxious this week because I'm moving out in three days to live on my own. I'm 29 and I've been wanting this since the day I turned 18, but my circumstances in life never permitted it before.

I just wish it was under better circumstances- my mother passed unexpectedly in February and my stepfather and I found a cheaper place to live. But the problem with that is that it's just cheaper for him- because he quit his job and I'm paying all of the bills except the car note and the car insurance, which he pays with the survivor benefits from mom. And he started dating a month after she died, which, despite it being his life and all is REALLY fucking tacky from his stepdaughter's perspective.

So my aunt and I have been planning in secret for the past few months out of concern that he will retaliate if he finds out. She paid my deposit on a one-bedroom apartment across the street from work and got me some house stuff and basic appliances, and they're going to blitz in on Friday with boxes and help me pack up and roll out.

I'm not sad to go at all. I'm definitely happy that I will have a space to truly call my own for the first time in my life. This house we're in now is a piece of junk- there's no central heat/AC because it was built in the 1920s, and the walls are paper thin so I can hear EVERYTHING. I work third shift and he waits until I start to go to sleep to wash the dishes. At least he does them, but it's annoying to hear water running and dishes clanking when I'm trying to sleep.

So again... What was your first time being on your own like? Did you enjoy the freedom as much as you thought?

[molliewoof]

So point of discussion- what was getting out on your own for the first time, people of Chat Zone?

So again... What was your first time being on your own like? Did you enjoy the freedom as much as you thought?

first time out on my own was fine,found a place i could handily afford, got sofas, white goods etc off people 'til i could find one i like / afford them one by one.

big tip is to make a shopping list and stick to it, i found myself with a freezer full of stuff id never eat and throwing it out every so often. i actually downgrading from what we call an 'american' fridge freezer at the moment so that i cant freeze food and am more likely to cook fresh, also the list saves a lot of money if you stick to it.

i need to keep a cleaning rota also as i am useless at stuff like that.

overall it was a positive step for me, good luck!

oh yeah get a dog called Mollie

[PC2]

So again... What was your first time being on your own like? Did you enjoy the freedom as much as you thought?

I moved out a couple months after high school graduation. It's awesome having your own place where you get to choose how things are arranged, and you get to choose most of the rules or lack thereof.

My parents were great but I don't think there's anything about living under their roof that was better than independence. After I moved out I didn't like the yard work/maintenance at first but eventually I got the hang of it.

[Progenitor Aquarius]

I’m scared of this actually because now when possibly COVID-19 ends along with online classes at Uni I will have to come back to campus. I hope this won’t happen this year though and I can chill in my family’s home. Living on your own is probably freedom connected with responsibilities and things you will have to deal with especially when buying a new house.

[Ashleyxoxo]

I'm still dependent on my parents due to mental illness.... so can't live in peace either way.

[DarkAmbient]

I left home before I was 20 but it wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I actually had a place to call my own. And it was my own, as I bought it. Not so easy for young people to do nowadays. I loved it, the feeling of being truly independent and knowing that no-one could take the roof from over my head (well, except the bank if I defaulted). Coming home from work, crashing on the sofa and putting my feet up knowing that no-one else was going to come in and disturb my peace, no-one's going to use the bathroom when I wanted to, no-one's going to eat my food or leave dirty dishes in the sink, no-one's going to take too long in the shower, no-one's going to bring their arsehole friends over... that feeling is priceless.

[Fencers]

Found it pretty easy because I progressively stepped away.

When I left for college I split a dorm with a roommate. After a year or so, my older sister and I moved into a small apartment in Harlem for a bit. Not too long after when I was around 22 or so, I was in my own place fully.

I remember distinctly coming home from a night out partying & what-have-you to my own place. A thought came to mind, "I can really do whatever I want and not worry about someone else sleeping."

Made grilled cheese and fell asleep on the couch with my bare feet on the coffee table, I was still in my club clothes. It felt very adult at the time. That was over 20 years ago now.

I feel like getting started in the world has changed a lot such that it is alien to me in a sense. I have been married for a long time too. Seems pretty hard out there but it might be my POV as an old lady.

[liamricci]

First of all - congrats! I've been 18 when i moved out. I guess it was exciting but i don't remember exactly my feelings. For me it wasn't easy too, had to take my first loan from https://maybeloan.com in order to pay deposit for my flat. Good that i had a good job at that time and managed to give it back on time

[henryparisi]

First of all - congrats! I've been 18 when i moved out. I guess it was exciting but i don't remember exactly my feelings. For me it wasn't easy too, had to take my first loan from in order to pay deposit for my flat. Good that i had a good job at that time and managed to give it back on time

I had that experience too, at first it was really hard. I recommend borrowing money from friends, family, or coworkers. If you don't have that option, you can ask for bank.

[neik]

Never had any transition anxiety when moving places, even after starting work as early as 15 years old, it wasn't an issue.

I've been moving quite a bit in my time, I was homeless, lived on street/hostels sleeping with junkies and drug addicts at some point. But never found any troubles moving around to new places. Once, we stuck with my ex gf on streets of London, sleeping in Internet cafe with zero certainty to what comes next, looking for places to rent.

Now, bloody mental illness disability, and stuck in a place which I don't really like. I shouldn't complain, but this is my first time where I'm quite unhappy and uneasy. Looking forward for new transitions sooner rather than later.

I hope you can find something that relaxes you, most important don't get stuck with the notion in your head that you have to live there forever. If you are unhappy, try to make some steps towards moving on and finding something better.

[nickjoky]

First of all - congrats! I've been 18 when i moved out. I guess it was exciting but i don't remember exactly my feelings. For me it wasn't easy too, had to take my first loan from in order to pay deposit for my flat. Good that i had a good job at that time and managed to give it back on time

I can imagine how you felt at that time. It's good that everything ended well.

[Biglog]

Congrats on getting your own place. It's a combination of both very empowering and frightening, especially in your situation if there is some family drama involved. It's a bit like taking the training wheels off when learning to ride a bike. If you fall, it's all on you then. But you also have freedom. Sometimes young adults starting out on their own in the late teens/early 20's are not quite ready for adulting yet and it doesn't go well. It's easy for them to fall into the trap of enjoying the newfound freedom a bit too much. So you have an advantage starting on your own a bit later.

[dextersmith]

Congratulations!

One of the first things I did was have coca-cola and a ice cream for breakfast and dessert before dinner! Learning to cook was rough but I loved being king of my own place. You have the freedom and prerogative to kick out parents, family and friends if they get obstreperous, and don't let anyone guilt you out of it. If you don't already have losers in your life, you'll inevitably meet some. Don't get conned, even if they are your best friend.

Don't fall for:

Can I borrow money/anything?
I still live with my parents so can I use your place as my fuck pad?
Can I have a key since we're best friends?
Buy beer and chips for "us" when you go grocery shopping tomorrow!
Can I invite a friend from high school over for dinner?
Can you buy groceries AND cook dinner for my new gf so I impress her?
Can I chill here with old friends you don't know and let them help themselves to your food and cd's?
Can you wash my shirt with your laundry or wash my dishes?
Can I tell people I live here so they think I'm cool?
Can you keep my dog this weekend?
Can I move in?
Can I move in and don't financially contribute since you already pay for cable, etc.?

[DeniDeniro]

Congratulations!

I think back to my college days and my first job. It's really very cool)

[HoJaf]

So point of discussion- what was getting out on your own for the first time, people of Chat Zone?

Because I'm determining that right now. I'm extremely anxious this week because I'm moving out in three days to live on my own. I'm 29 and I've been wanting this since the day I turned 18, but my circumstances in life never permitted it before.

I just wish it was under better circumstances- my mother passed unexpectedly in February and my stepfather and I found a cheaper place to live. But the problem with that is that it's just cheaper for him- because he quit his job and I'm paying all of the bills except the car note and the car insurance, which he pays with the survivor benefits from mom. And he started dating a month after she died, which, despite it being his life and all is REALLY fucking tacky from his stepdaughter's perspective.

So my aunt and I have been planning in secret for the past few months out of concern that he will retaliate if he finds out. She paid my deposit on a one-bedroom apartment across the street from work and got me some house stuff and basic appliances, and they're going to blitz in on Friday with boxes and help me pack up and roll out.

I'm not sad to go at all. I'm definitely happy that I will have a space to truly call my own for the first time in my life. This house we're in now is a piece of junk- there's no central heat/AC because it was built in the 1920s, and the walls are paper thin so I can hear EVERYTHING. I work third shift and he waits until I start to go to sleep to wash the dishes. At least he does them, but it's annoying to hear water running and dishes clanking when I'm trying to sleep.

So again... What was your first time being on your own like? Did you enjoy the freedom as much as you thought?

I moved out into uni when I was 19.
I felt frustrated the first time, like a kitten on a crowded street. But then I used to live alone and found friends.

Now I also miss the uni days