Originally Posted by
nrross
I was hoping with a title like this, we would be in for a satirical treat. Oh shame. Anyhoo, I totally feel you bro. Before WoW, I was a shivering wreck of a boy, pissing my pants and shitting the bed, always getting erections at the worst possible time. I was a nothing, a nobody. If I wanted to see a naked girl, I had to chalk up inordinate hours of time spent stalking, for that one fleeting glince. Then it all changed when I found WoW.
I spent every waking hour playing and raiding, so that I could attain the one thing that had always eluded me - praise from another human being. Whenever another human felt the need to speak to me, it would always be the same speil, "grow up", "stop following me", "please don't hurt me" etc etc. When people used to encounter me, it filled them with revulsion, some times fear, and always a sadness that something like me actually roamed the streets. Now...they longed for my presence, to bathe in my glory was the highlight of their day. And it made me feel valid, not only that, my long held divinity was finally recognised and people finally saw me the way I always wanted them to - as a God.
Scores of morons would fight over the chance to gaze upon my brilliance. And this was good. I even grew the courage to express my divinity in the real world. My elderly mother once interrupted a cermon I was holding outside Stormwind bank, and I turned to her and scowled "How dare you, woman! Flee from my presence, lest you suffer my terrible wrath". Silenced and stunned, the old bat just stared there, gawking. I stood up in a rage, and with all my godlike strength struck the hag, and then laughed as her frail body fell backwards, her head opening up against the force of the table behind her. She had been pwnt. Those were the days...
And then they decided that since gods like us were in the minority and the casual morons made up the majority of the playerbase, they decided to open the game up, diminishing my status as a God. Blizzard claims it was to do with "business" and other nonsense, but we all know what it was. Damned atheists, would be god destroyers. I know I am a god, and WoW was the only place others would see it.
I am glad you made this thread, oh brother. It has long puzzled me that none of the other God's have made a thread on this issue, where we could lament, together, about the destruction of our power and divinity. Most of the people here won't understand. They are laymen, not fit to clean our boots. They will never know the pain we feel, as gods, as well adjusted, emotionally stable, super buff, well endowed Gods, with awesome fighting skills and who can go for hours in the sack (and frequently do).
Lament dear brother. Our days are numbered.