How do you eat your hamburger?

[Hinata]

i love to make the burgers myself, and they tend to get somewhat big :P so i often use knife and fork

[Zorz]

Well, depends where I get the burger from tbh.
McD's, which I hardly ever go to, I flip open the burger and dump all my fries in there, because Macca's burgers are really bland. Then I eat it in around 3 bites normally.

Burger King on the other hand, I love to enjoy slowly. I'll always ask for extra sauce on my burger of choice; BBQ Bacon Double Cheeseburger. It arrives to me dripping in fat and BBQ sauce, and I take care not to spill any on my shirt. If that happens, which it inevitably always does, I'll lick it off carefully . Then I'll take slow, and small bites until it's finally gone

[Deleted]

I just eat, hey - Food's food!

[Shotzy]

First, I use Hansen's Burger Flip-Two-Time Maneuver when deciding how to approach the burger (only applicable when said burger is roughly 4-5+ inches in diameter). Once I've figured out a viable spot, I mentally mark it and stick a fry in there, just in case I forget.

Here's where things get complicated. First, I eat a handful of fries to get my mouth dry. This will cause me to drink my pop, by then my mouth will have returned to its original state, and I now have a bit more comfort when trying to down the burger.

WARNING: The next bits of this information get very technical.

As any Pro Burger Eater knows, Hansen's Burger Flip-Two-Time Maneuver is not intended for eating, only for scouting. For amateur Burger Eaters, it can be used to eat it, but be warned that the maximum amount of enjoyment will not be achieved. After I've handled the pop situation, I return to the burger. This time, I use the Theresa Theory to carefully arrange for a bite point on the spot, and I round to the nearest 10th. Next, Dan's Pickle Method will easily tell me how much force I will need to employ to clear a clean bite into the burger. At this point, there is no stopping a true Pro Burger Eater, so be warned. Now, I initiate the bite, keeping in mind Dan's Pickle Method while using my teeth just as Michael Phelps positioned them in his 1995 Burger Eater Festival bite. As I have the piece in my mouth, I try not to think about how much of the burger I've bitten off, rather, how equal the ratios of Pickle to Lettuce and Meat to Cheese are. Any further ingredients need to be measured with Arnold's Mustard Equation. Now that I've got the first piece in my stomach, there is no distinction as to which side of the burger is proportioned. Now, it's just me and the Theresa Theory. Nothing else. If needed, I use Heinrich's Cleaner Method after every bite.

And that's how I eat a burger.

[Deus]

Upside down

[Deleted]

Like a Boss

[imtehrogue]

1. Remove the upper bread
2. Check for anything creepy/disgusting inside
3. Put the bread back on
4. Bite
5. Chew
6. Swallow
7. Drink coke

[Deleted]

Then again sometimes I like to do it the way they do it in Animes.
'Ill take a potato chip
'epic pause'
AND EAT IT!'

[Deleted]

I dont eat meat :P

[Psychofish]

ehm with the hands?

[Mossmantle]

Cover the burger in beer-batter and deep fry it. Mmmm mmmm.

[Pineau]

Like a Boss

Well, I guess somebody had to say it.

As for me, I don't eat burgers as I only make them. McDonald's worker here.

[Deleted]

why eat a hamburger if you can get a cheeseburger? :O

[Rynnie]

Unwrap it all the way, eat it upside down. Complete burger first, then the fries.

[Glokkpod]

1. Burger, semi-wrapped.
2. Drink my coke.
3. Moar burger (always semi wrapped except the last square cm).
4. Fries.
5. Coke and fries

[Deleted]

In one bite

[Deleted]

1. Get bun, cant be to hefty (less room for meat)
2. Get cheese
3. Get alot of beef
4. Cook and eat

[Doctor Deanster]

just eat the stuff in the middle first since that stuff tastes better than the other layers.

[Tuvok]

Fries first, then take a few bties of the whole burger, then take apart the two buns from the maet, and eat the three sections separately, with whatever condement/veg comes with the piece.

[Deleted]

My mom feeds me