Girl Help Desperately Needed Despite This Not Being The Ideal Asking Place

[Deleted]

Hello,

I've been a friend with this girl for about 3 years now but recently we got closer and... I got to like her A LOT. Although I'm in the "friend-zone", I could probably pull it off if it wasn't for the fact that she has a boyfriend (been together for like a month and a half).

I tried shutting down my feelings but I simply can't and I continuously think about her which is driving me crazy.

I finally kinda managed to shut my feelings down last week but I went to her house as I generally tend to and we made out. For the first time in 3 years. While her boyfriend was in the bathroom.

This obviously made my feelings go haywire and I have no idea what to do. Although this happened in the weekend, she does not necessarily act any different to me now and she still is close to her boyfriend.

Now the question is. WTF do I do? Nothing? Wait? Break them up somehow? Get her to love me back (if only i knew how and if she doesn't already)? Try hooking up with her again on the next occasion? HALP PLAX.

Much appreciated .

EDIT: I'm a guy. Seems I didn't make that pretty clear.

[DistortionSleep]

Wait are you a guy, I can't tell. The title can be misleading.

[Zorgen]

If she is making out with you while her boyfriend is in the bathroom that makes her a dirty slut, so logically we can assume that if she were to date you that she would make out with another guy while your in the bathroom. Don't waste your time bro.

TL;DR She cheats on her boyfriends, so do you want to be her boyfriend?

[Harpocrates]

hit it and quit it, you dont want a girlfriend that will cheat on her boyfriend D= ...or do you???

[Nudi]

If she'll hook up with you at whatever occasion that may pop up, she'll also do it to *insert new friend* while its YOU in the shower..

If she's going to commit to some new guy, she has got to end the last relationship... and if she doesn't and continues to evolve with you, read the upper sentence once more.


You're in a tough situation, though.. I'd assume you don't want to hurt the girl necessarily by forcing a breakup between her and the other guy.. Meanwhile, its a bitch to shut down feelings as well.

[Blazefury5]

Wait are you a guy, I can't tell.

I was thinking the same thing haha.

And if you're looking for girl help, I don't think a computer gaming forum is the answer.

[RawrBeef]

Do nothing whilst waiting for the correct opportunity to break them up, then get her to love you back and shortly thereafter try to hook up with her again.
???

[Melodi]

You guys need to talk about what happened, obviously. However, if she's cheating with her boyfriend that early on in the relationship with you, do you really want to date her? Not to sound cynical but, just that act alone makes me not be able to trust her at all. If I were you, I'd be afraid that when I walked out of the room or was gone that she'd do the same thing over again.

Regardless, talk to her about it and see how she actually feels about you. If she's as crazy about you as you are with her then she needs to realize it and dump her current boyfriend. Granted, if she does break up with him, it's probably not wise to immediately ask her out as that just looks really bad. That, and you both might want to clear the air about what you did, to her boyfriend. At least be honest and upfront about it. It will get out some way, better sooner than later and by you two not someone else.

[Bourn]

If she is making out with you while her boyfriend is in the bathroom that makes her a dirty slut, so logically we can assume that if she were to date you that she would make out with another guy while your in the bathroom. Don't waste your time bro.

Not necessarily. It could mean that she was always interested in him, but didn't think anything was ever going to happen, thus deciding to move on, which is where the new guy comes in. Until something else happened that day, causing aforementioned make out session to occur. Or she could be a dirty slut.

OP: Who started it? And what was going on at the time?

[Deleted]

If she is making out with you while her boyfriend is in the bathroom that makes her a dirty slut, so logically we can assume that if she were to date you that she would make out with another guy while your in the bathroom. Don't waste your time bro.

TL;DR She cheats on her boyfriends, so do you want to be her boyfriend?

The thing is she never cheats on her boyfriends. She's had quite a few since I've known her and this is the first time it has happened (or at least she hasn't told me anything although we're friends). That is why my first guess was that she has an attraction for me.

[Failmuffins]

Any girl that cheats on her BF can't be trusted.

If you want to get over her, just stop talking to and seeing her. Yeah it'll hurt for a bit, and you'll still think about her for a while, but it'll eventually fade as all things do. You can then move on and find a girl who doesn't cheat on her boyfriend when he's in the other room.

[Agetro]

This might be one of those exemptions because he's known her for so long. But I would definitely talk to her about it. See how she feels entirely. Tell her how you feel, and that you want to try and make something of it. If she doesn't, then you can't be her friend. Now if you just want to be messing around, you can do that too. Ya'll ain't married.

[Smeaxycore]

2 words '' F*** friend'' see were that goes if not just break it

[Deleted]

OP: Who started it? And what was going on at the time?

Well we were quite tipsy and we were watching a romantic comedy. I asked her randomly if she thinks I could get a kiss, but I said it in a sarcastic manner as I wasn't expecting anything. And then it just happened.

The thing is I'm not sure if I can talk to her about it. I'm worried that it might fuck up our friendship which I definitely don't want to happen. I'm better off being friends with her than not talking to her at all.

[Zarasthura]

Hello,

I've been a friend with this girl for about 3 years now but recently we got closer and... I got to like her A LOT. Although I'm in the "friend-zone", I could probably pull it off if it wasn't for the fact that she has a boyfriend (been together for like a month and a half).

I tried shutting down my feelings but I simply can't and I continuously think about her which is driving me crazy.

I finally kinda managed to shut my feelings down last week but I went to her house as I generally tend to and we made out. For the first time in 3 years. While her boyfriend was in the bathroom.

This obviously made my feelings go haywire and I have no idea what to do. Although this happened in the weekend, she does not necessarily act any different to me now and she still is close to her boyfriend.

Now the question is. WTF do I do? Nothing? Wait? Break them up somehow? Get her to love me back (if only i knew how and if she doesn't already)? Try hooking up with her again on the next occasion? HALP PLAX.

Much appreciated .

The girl took you for a ride and you didn't even realise it. You sound like an emotionally-diven kind of guy, so it's best to push for no strings attached before things get messy between you, the girl, and her boyriend.

The simple fact is that you are not her boyfriend, the other guy is. Hit it and quit it asap, or stay away from this girl entirely.

[Agetro]

Trust me, if you don't talk about it, eventually you two will go your separate ways and you're always going to wonder... what if? Rip it off like a bandaid! I did once. I got hurt. I moved on. I'm happier than ever. I don't regret anything.

[Jeleh]

OP: Who started it? And what was going on at the time?

This is pretty vital information, how did you end up kissing her in the space of time between her bf going to the bathroom?

[Zorgen]

The thing is she never cheats on her boyfriends. She's had quite a few since I've known her and this is the first time it has happened (or at least she hasn't told me anything although we're friends). That is why my first guess was that she has an attraction for me.

Of course she has an attraction to you, hence the make out session. But she also has an attraction to this other guy. In my experience when a girl tries to juggle more than one guy she is a slut.. regardless, the fact that she cheated on this guy while he was in the bathroom means she doesn't care about anyone's feelings but her own.

The question is, after you two finished making out what happened with her and the guy? Is she still with him?

[hawtlol]

This is like the 10th one of these threads in the past week. This has to be some sort of new troll fad...

[D_K_night]

I'm confused. I'll just assume you're a guy, because well, I don't have any good advice for women-seeking-women.

To simplify the sequence of events as I understand it:

- You developed a crush on her. She is currently attached to someone.
- You made out with her(unknown to her bf)

So a number of things come to mind.

Everyone has a differing opinion on what constitutes "cheating". Some say, it's not cheating unless it's full on naked physical interaction. Others feel that even if you're thinking lewd thoughts towards that person, well that's cheating too. I'll go for the middle ground and state that, since she made out with you(while still in a relationship with someone else), that is a huge red flag in my book. Would you want your gf to snog another man the moment you turn your back?

Now. The lack of communication on her part. It sounds like she snuck a bite of the apple, and on her terms. She has all the power. You're the hanger-on, and have no power whatsoever. No mystery why you're so confused and helpless, right?

This is exactly the reason why you never allow yourself to be so stuck on any one girl. Always have a few in mind and on the go. Never be hung up completely on one, or this is the stuff which happens. Ask yourself, why are so you infatuated with this one girl? Probably her looks right?

Your world sounds very small, and you sound very young. No offense meant here. You do need to expand your world and see more things, outside of the bubble that you're in. The bigger your world is, the more you realize that, this particular girl really isn't so unique or special compared to what else is out there.