It's not often that I whine about anything not stat or nerf related- really, even the casual cries of "Moar green fire" aren't something I typically subscribe to. However, at this point... I'm tired of a certain trend that the art department has taken with our gear. I'd *hoped* that this would pass with wrath, but already by the sets granted to us in Cata, it's clear we have to say something.
First of all, let's take a moment to look back to the past, and see exactly how far our fashion sense has fallen. Journey with me, fellow hellcallers into the yesteryear, to our old visage. First on our list- Tier 2, also called "Nemesis" (Pictured here- http://home.tiscali.nl/interphase/images/yreall4.jpg)
Let's take a look at the simplicity of the design, and how honestly pimping it is. The eyes, how they glare at you with the tiny little facial mask. The horns are big- yet not too cartoon-esque. The skull? Perfection in a helm. There's a reason this thing made a comeback with the Ony reboot. I can actually remember a day when I was young, level 55, having just gotten my felguard as 2.0 hit... and running like HELL every time I saw a gnome wearing this in WSG. Even in the smallest of our locky breatheren, it inspired fear in a way that few sets have.
Moving on to TBC we start off our glory days with the beauty of Voidheart (pictured here http://www.locksucks.com/wp-content/...eart-tier4.jpg). While cartoony in some ways, its hard to ignore the GIANT WELL OF BLACKNESS EMANATING FROM THE CASTERS VERY SOU- ok. Whew. Sorry, had to calm myself there. But the point is there, as "strange" as it was, it actually took one of our iconic pets and made it look like WE SKINNED THEM. Which is very appropriate to any raider- a voidwalker is good for nothing but a hat. Take note.
Finally, the two Cadillacs of the warlock tribe. The twin hellions known only as Corrupter (http://www.locksucks.com/wp-content/...ptor-tier5.jpg) and Malefic Raiment (http://worldofweirdcraft.net/wp-cont...warlock-t6.jpg). To describe either one of them seems a sin- my laptop's keyboard has turned into shark teeth, willing to snip at my fingers for even attempting sane discussion of the two. The first is quite simply one of the more perfect warlock sets we've ever seen. It's simple. It's black. There are skulls on spikes. The beauty it conveys is on par with that of a baby's first breath, or some poor bastard paladin's last. The only criticism that has been dolled onto it is in that it's helm *kind* of looks like dog genetilia. Which I find intimidating in it's own way, but (ow, goddamn demon keyboard) moving on.
And of course, tier 6 can only be described as orgasmic. Not because of the purple on yellow, as the art team seems to believe... but because of the wings. Oh gods yes, the wings. Many a man has trudged back to the cold, bleak outlands, doing "Achievement Runs" simply to GET. THOSE. WINGS. They spawned an entire subculture of simply INSULTING them- "Oh, welfware wings. GG SL/SL." were the battle cries of the weak and feeble, those poor mortals who had gazed upon our glorious wingspans.
Yes, these were our golden years.
And what have they brought us?
TEARS (http://feldeeds.files.wordpress.com/...de_warlock.jpg)
What the hell is that? Am I a warrior now? Do i need to be bladed? Last time I checked, I summoned demons- any attachments to my armor should help that or intimidate. Not be useful in a melee situation simply because "it might put an eye out."
SHAME (http://static.mmo-champion.com/mmoc/...r10warlock.jpg)
I can't even start on this one. All I can say is that my voicemail is filled to the brim with some group who call themselves "Death Eaters" whining that we stole their stupid, stupid hats.
And finally OPEN WEEPING ( http://static.mmo-champion.com/mmoc/...13_warlock.jpg)
Yes. We know it was a throwback. We also know it's a throwback to that poor time in vanilla when you DRESSED US UP LIKE STORMTROOPERS IN A PRIDE PARADE.
And lo, it is to continue-
http://media.mmo-champion.com/images...k_female_m.jpg
Thank god for the giant, lopsided horns. I didn't need to turn to the right that much anyway.
http://media.mmo-champion.com/images...10_warlock.jpg
I think what bothers me about this is that they managed to fit in skulls AND green fire, and somehow still make me hate it. I've puked colors that have had more dark flair than this, and I have also puked exactly this color several thousand times in my life.
Just to illustrate the difference here-
http://static.mmo-champion.com/mmoc/...13_warlock.jpg
-Says, I occasionally dabble in the black arts, but really I believe that we can change the world for the better, no matter what the color of our magic is.
http://www.locksucks.com/wp-content/...ptor-tier5.jpg
-Says, Mmm, I think I'll have murder for breakfast.
My request is simple- stop clicking the "random color" button on your palette and get back to our roots. Black baby, PAINT. IT. BLACK. Not purple! Not dark pink! Not bright frigging yellow!
BLACK. Preferably with RED TRIM.
And god knows you've given all the skulls to the death knights, but can you find it in your heart to spare us a couple next time? By next expansion our tier set will be nothing but a bloody tie-dye shirt and the helm will be a crown of flowers, one hand raised in a "peace" symbol. Quit turning us into hippy druids, you weak fools. And we swear to god, if we see one giant pink crystal floating above EITHER shoulder, we'll see it as an act of war and start taking over strategic art department held buildings and oil refineries.