Well, I seem to be in a bit of a situation...

[Elohel]

I'm seventeen and a senior in high school. I make A's, attend tutoring sessions, 1st chair in the viola section of the orchestra, and have never been known to be a troublemaker. I have a job that gets about 10 hours a week on average so supporting myself is out of question. Now that that's clear, I'll move on to the main point.

My father went through some sort of 'revelation' 5 years ago and decided to join the American fundamentalist movement (I'll try HARD to not reference to religion as much as possible.) I attended with him, enjoyed it, but I've hit a spot in my life where essentially I have become an agnostic leaning towards atheism. I tried leaving hints to my father, nothing really worked. Today we went to pizza hut and he began prying me for answers, and the truth came out. He began yelling "NONBELIEVER! SATAN SPAWN!" and "QUEER!(I'm not gay, but according to my father non christians are,) and racist(???) Outraged, my father stormed out of the restaurant and refused to speak to me. I manage to convince him to let me in the car, and I get inside of it. He proceeds to tell me that "I'm scum of the earth," "Going to burn in hell," "The devil has you real good."

To clarify, I'm open minded. It's the whole reason any of this happened in the first place. My initial response was reason, living peacefully, how I respect his beliefs and how he should respect mine. Diplomatic approaches failed, and apparently I am being kicked out within the next two days. My father tells me we have nothing in common and how he never wants to see me again, I have no place in his house and if my mother will not take me I must somehow live on $250 a month. He tells me that I'm stupid, foolish, close-minded(lol?) and that his house must be purged of my presence.

Can my father actually kick me to the curb when I am still 17? Would his excuse to the authorities be slightly acceptable? The thing that worries me the most is that he is violent by nature, and violence is naturally going to be his next step against his horrible son.

Note: I live in Mississippi. Self-explanatory.

Also a note to the mods - This isn't about religion at all, it's about my crazy father who, for some odd reason, wishes to see me suffer for such a trivial reason.

[Gandrake]

i lol'd irl

last i heard it was legal to put your kids on the street at age 16, so i hope you got friends.

also, egg your dads house. i would.

[Activi-T]

Yeah he could actually refuse to let you in the house sure. Would you really want to be in the house with him anyway if he is going to go off on you whenever he sees you? There isn't really anything the authorities could do about it bar look into if your mum can take care of you and if she can't have you placed into some sort of foster/state run thing.

How is your relationship with your mum anyway? Do you think she would be able to accommadate you until you get stuff sorted/get old enough?

[Elohel]

i lol'd irl

last i heard it was legal to put your kids on the street at age 16, so i hope you got friends.

also, egg your dads house. i would.

I'm screwed if he puts me on the street, my closest friends still live with their parents, and the parents I know well probably aren't willing to give me room and board for five months.

I'm close with my mother, but there is simply no room in her house for me. All bedrooms are occupied, and my step dad's son lives there as well along with my two sisters. It would be packed and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't allow me to stay longer than a few weeks.

[Catta]

i actually believe you can contact child care if he kicks you out and they will make him pay you money till you are 18... You could also try talking sense into him... ask him to sit down and discuss rationally with you without raising your voices... Ask him why he thinks the things he does about you... when he says why, ask him how he came to that and so on... Also it doesnt hurt to have some jesus quotes ready

[CJack14dt]

I'm more curious how he believes the billions of non-Christians procreate?

[Activi-T]

I'm screwed if he puts me on the street, my closest friends still live with their parents, and the parents I know well probably aren't willing to give me room and board for five months.

I'm close with my mother, but there is simply no room in her house for me. All bedrooms are occupied, and my step dad's son lives there as well along with my two sisters. It would be packed and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't allow me to stay longer than a few weeks.

I would tell your mom that your dad has gone bat shit crazy at you for having your own mind and see what she says in reguards to how to handle things.

Even if it is for a few weeks it may give your dad time to calm down (if it's possible) or it might let you have time to come up with other options. Maybe other family or something?

[Deleted]

I'm more curious how he believes the billions of non-Christians procreate?

I literly burst out into laughter at that =P But do what Catta said,it should work.

[Majik8ball]

If it helps, In America, a parent is responsible for their child until that child reaches the age of 18. If the parent is deemed unable or unwilling to feed and house said child, the child can be taken into foster care until they are adopted or until they turn 18. In some cases the adult can be arrested during the process. In short: Your father can't kick you out, but the state could deem him unfit to be a parent if he is violent to you, forces religious beliefs onto you, or attempts to abandon you. In which case, you would be sent into foster care until you turned 18. The problem is on your 18th birthday, you'll be kicked out of foster care. Which is bad because you probably won't be finished with high school yet, and you'll be forced to support yourself. Hope that helped

[Darkdruidelf]

Beat him at his own game - find some bible quotes saying that he should accept anyone (look in the new testament). Use these to tell him that, according to his 'high religious standards', he needs to grow up and realise that some people are different and he needs to learn to fucking deal with it.

[Catta]

Beat him at his own game - find some bible quotes saying that he should accept anyone (look in the new testament). Use these to tell him that, according to his 'high religious standards', he needs to grow up and realise that some people are different and he needs to learn to fucking deal with it.

dont look in the old testament for goodness sake... some parts says its okay for parents to kill their children for being disrespectful because they made them

[Darkdruidelf]

dont look in the old testament for goodness sake... some parts says its okay for parents to kill their children for being disrespectful because they made them

Yeah, the OT is pretty crazy, thats why I said look in the new testament :P

[Elohel]

I'll answer a few questions.

My mom WOULD take me in, but not happily. The transition would be hard on everyone, and I don't want to throw myself on others. She loves me and all and I love her but only so many people can live in a three bedroom house.

As far as bible quotes go, it's hardly worth it. I talked to my dad about christian love and stuff and he isn't convinced. The arguement actually started picking up when I attempted to reason with it.

[Troodi]

The following is just my opinion, use your own best judgement.

You are in a bad spot. There is no reasoning with him since his rational self has been compromised. He is reacting from a purely emotional level and you happen to be the focus and target of his rage. He has some deep seated anger toward you which hopefully you recognize it is not because of you, but because of who you represent to him. You are a threat to him somehow and he is looking for a way to remove you from his presence.

You may represent something he wishes for himself, could be youth, goodness, etc, something. You mentioned that you are even natured, which could be the "hot-coals" on his head and judgement for his soul. So no way around it, he wants you gone.

If there was a legal way to make him take you back, the environment you'll be in, won't be healthy. Even the street might be safer right now.

You could try appealing to the church for assistance, but you do need to ask for help since you won't be able to deal with this on your own. You still are a "child" in society terms and should be given protection, aid and housing as entitled.

* * *

[Davisdoesdallas]

dont look in the old testament for goodness sake... some parts says its okay for parents to kill their children for being disrespectful because they made them

The bible is so ambiguous that it most likely says to kill your child for disrespect and then a few verses later, says it does not condone killing.


OP: Your father is crazy and if you live in the US I'm sure there is some sort of legal action you could take. I know at 16 you can be emancipated but that is the child wanting to leave the parent, not the other way around. Basically tell the school your dad wants to kick you out, and have them try to help you. I know it might not be optimal because of the stigma associated at that age with dealing with authority, but they might be able to get the cops involved and at the very least they'll help you find a shelter or somewhere you can sleep.

Most schools counsolers will also in that situation try to help you with long term plans for living.

[EtherealSeraphim]

My mom WOULD take me in, but not happily. The transition would be hard on everyone, and I don't want to throw myself on others. She loves me and all and I love her but only so many people can live in a three bedroom house.

If this situation is about finding somewhere for you to live, I'd stop worrying about imposing on others, especially if they're your family. You mum should suck it up and look after her kid. Families want to help other family members. Living on a couch for 5 months might be pretty shitty, but it's a million times better than sleeping in a gutter.

[Catta]

I'll answer a few questions.

My mom WOULD take me in, but not happily. The transition would be hard on everyone, and I don't want to throw myself on others. She loves me and all and I love her but only so many people can live in a three bedroom house.

As far as bible quotes go, it's hardly worth it. I talked to my dad about christian love and stuff and he isn't convinced. The arguement actually started picking up when I attempted to reason with it.

instead of making him go into defensive... try just ask him why he thinks the different things... do it over a long period of time... gradually he will hopefully start to realize he is in the wrong

[skatblast]

Don't ever bring it up again. I have a similar situation with my mom. I just don't tell her or talk about it around her, its not a big deal to me if she knows i'm atheist or not.

You shouldn't care either, believe in what you want to and don't let other peoples opinions effect you.

I wonder what your dad would do if you told him you were gay...

[Blznsmri]

I wonder what your dad would do if you told him you were gay...

He'd end up on a Law & Order episode...

[Pendulous]

If this situation is about finding somewhere for you to live, I'd stop worrying about imposing on others, especially if they're your family. You mum should suck it up and look after her kid. Families want to help other family members. Living on a couch for 5 months might be pretty shitty, but it's a million times better than sleeping in a gutter.

Absolutely.

Also, I'm pretty sure what your dad is doing is illegal. He can't kick you out until you are 18 or have graduated from high school.