[Open CRP] The First Biannual Cross-Factional Dance Contest

[Aramore]

The moment has come upon us once again. It is time for the Biannual Cross-Factional Dance contest! Sponsored this year by Saren of Silvermoon Tailoring Co. "Look your best for war or dress!"

This years venue is the neutral city of Shattrath in the shattered world of Draenor upon the Terrace of Light!

The judges this year consist of:

A'dal the Naa'ru!

Rhonin the Wizard!

Thrall the Shaman!

and last but not least Malfurion the Archdruid!

Let the dancing commence!


Current Judges

A'dal Kil'Jaeden Wilfred Fizzlebang

Rhonin Bolvar Fordragon

Thrall Garrosh Hellscream Vol'Jin

Malfurion Varian Wrynn


Contestant Standings:

Telcular: 24/40

Yalaa: 33/40

Elifritz: 21/40

Xana: 8/40

Noxvari: 24/40

Gnome/Shaza'kiel combo: 21/40

[Telcular]

Telcular put his ever-so-awsome hat on as he walked into the center of the stage.
Stretching both his arms out toward the side, slowly raising them toward the sky as he shakes his booty side to side, then suddenly dragging his arms toward his chest, pressing himself backwards with a big force before coming to a halt, peeking up on his toes as his fingertips grabs onto the hat, pulling it own slightly to cover his eyes, his other hand reaching out behind him, grabing an invisable object before doing a twirl, still on his toes, grabbing his crotch and leting out a squeel, then leaves the stage as if nothing happend.

[Aramore]

"Telcular the Necromancer up there! Now lets see what the judges decisions were!" The voice-over roared.

A fine display by the young man there. I give him a seven out of ten! A'dal called out as the audience cheered behind him.

"I can't hit that!" Rhonin roared with annoyance. "Two out of ten and I do not authorise you to dance again!" The audience let lose a loud chorus of boos before Rhonin turned and did a few pelvic thrusts at them and they quieted down. He then brofisted Krasus.

"Well I have to be honest here and I was not a big fan of this dance- A ring of boos started to drown him out. "BUT!" Thrall roared over the crowd. "I understand that this is subjectove so I award you a five out of ten. The crowd lowered their noise but discontent amongst them could still be heard.

"And now Malfurion!" The voice-over shouted.

Malfurion did not answer.

"Malfurion!" The voice-over shouted again.

Still no response.

"Uhh... I think he's asleep" Thrall called over.

Suddenly in the crowd a voice appeared. "Typical Greenskin scum!" It roared getting closer and closer to the judges podium. "Clearly this is an assassination attempt by this Horde scum in an attempt to remove the alliance voice from this competition!"

"Actually I'm neutral no-" Thrall began but stopped at the sight of King varian Wrynn stepping up onto the stage.

He shoved Malfurion off the seat and got in himself. "As a proud human I award Telcular Ten out of ten! GLORY TO THE ALLIANCE!" Varian roared.

"So that's a twenty four for our first contestant here! Now it's time for the next contestant to get up on stage!

[Deleted]

Yalaa comes in with her sexy clothes and walks to the middle of the stage, with both hands in the sky she begins with her dance.circle around she goes on her knees and with her chest she shackes to the ground and back standing up she puts her hands on her but and makes circles again and ends with a slapon her bot and throwing her hand up. Then she bows and leaves the stage.

[Aramore]

"Yalaa the Draenei there! Now lets see what the judges had to say about her!"

I do not approve of such seductive dancing in the halls of this holy city but I must admit I was mesmorised by the performance... so I shall give you a six out of ten. The crowd cheered for the score.

"I'll give you a score of eight out of ten. But if you come over here and give me an eight out of ten I'm sure we can get it to rise..." Rhonin winked then did a few pelvic thrusts in case his menaing was not clear. All of the women in the crowd (and most of the men too) swooned at the sign of this.

Thrall was crying in his seat. "That... that was beautiful! How we can have a war between our two races when your race has such beauty... ten out of ten!" Thrall roared.

"YOU COWARDLY TRAITOR!" a man roared. "HOW COULD YOU GIVE ALLIANCE SCUM LIKE THAT A TEN OUT OF TEN?! YOU. ARE. DISMISSED! He roared before diving down from the audience and slamming his axe into Thrall's head. "Looks like I'm the judge here now." Garrosh said as he stole Thrall's clothes.

"Another fine show of the might of the alliance!" Varian shouted. "I give you nine out of ten!"

"Another round of judging over! This gives Yalaa a total score of thirty three! Next!

[The Madgod]

Elifritz walked up on stage, shyly, wearing a very large trenchcoat. When he was at the center of the stage, he stood there for a few seconds before flinging the coat off. The only thing he wore under it was a jeweled codpiece. He then went insane, doing what seemed like a combination of tapdancing and pelvic thrusting. After a minute, it all stopped as soon as it began. The gnome-in-a-tauren bowed, picked up his coat, dusted it off, put it on, and ran off the stage.

[Aramore]

"Hail to the King baby, that was Duke Nukem! Now lets go live to our judges.

If I had known that this is what the dance contest would consist of I would never have allowed it to take place upon this sacred ground. Still be that as it may this is what we are here to judge. Five out of ten. The Naar'u chimed.

"And now to Rhonin for his score! The camera anned ove to Rhonin who had a strangely satisfied look on his face.

"Human! Your response is required! Garrosh roared at the judge next to him. "Wait. Who's that under the table!?" He looked under the table and a night elf quickly tried to hide herself. "Tyrande?"

The Night Elf High Priest drew up to full height. "Malfurion seems to be sleeping again. Do you really expect me to go another eight years without male contact?"

While this was going on Rhonin rounded on Garrosh.

"Hey dude. What's your problem? I don't cock block you now do I?"

"Get away from me human." Garrosh replied.

Rhonin looked at Garrosh incredulously. "Do you know who I am?!" He roared and began to summon an arcane storm. "I'm the Rhoninator Bitch!" he did a few pelvic thrusts at Garrosh who fell to the ground screaming in pain.

Enough. Rhonin, you have been banished from Shattrath City. Do not return again.

"It's cool. I didn't like this place anyway. Come on Tyrande, lets go back to your place and grab a few more priestess and make this into a real party!" Rhonin said teleporting away.

With the fourth judge gone the crowd will run rampant across this world. There must always be a fourth judge.

Tirion suddenly appeared on the podium and grabbed the discarded judge's sash. "The weight of such a burden... it must be mine. For there is no other to—"

" Tirion... You hold a grim destiny in your hands, brother... but it is not your own. The dragon's flame sealed my fate. Forever more I must be the judge of the danced. Do it Tirion. This will be my last act of servitude."

Tirion walks over and places the sash over Bolvar's head. "You will not be forgotten brother.

Bolvar raised his eyebrow for a moment. "Of course I won't I've just got a judges spot on prime time Television! Six out of ten!"

Garrosh stood dumbfounded for a moment before remembering where he was. " A proud member of the horde must be given respect where it is due. Ten out of ten!"

Varian jumped out of his seat. "OBJECTION! He has shown his bias here!" He looked around for anyone to back him up. "Fine I will be the lone voice of reason and fix things myself. Nought out of ten!"

Garrosh rolled his eyes upon hearing this but did not react.

"Judging round three over and Elifritz has been awarded a respectable score of twenty one. Will outr next contestant please stand up!"

[Deleted]

Everything went dark with a loud clank, as if someone had dragged a huge switch and turned off all the electricity. Then the light of a disco ball hanging atop the room started to spread its beautiful flakes around the room. In the background low tones could be heard, as Michael Jackson's Black or White started playing.

Xana slid backwards onto the stage, entering with a moonwalk. Looking at her while the flakes were going merely left a moving silhouette. Just as the young Draenei reached the middle, a loud puff of smoke errupted around her, as the light went back on and the music went wild! The youngling had cast mirror image! The three Xana's were standing on line, where one looked emo, one looked seductive, and one looked extraordinarily happy.
Two of the images walked in between Varian and Garrosh, obviously encouraging to make looks, or rather faction in this dance-contest, not matter!
As the song came to an end, once more the sound of the switch being pulled was heard, and the stage was - once again - left empty in a huff of smoke.

[Aramore]

"So judges! Xana the priest, how do you feel about her?"

Garrosh and Varian looked at each other for a moment. Dumbstruck by what had just occured before them neither of them were sure what to do next. Garrosh nodded at Varian who stood up to deliver his reaction.

"Xana. In all my time as King of Stormwind I have never quite seen a dance such as that. I have never had things explained to me in such a way. And I have to tell you right now." He said staring straight into the camera. " That it was the worst piece of junk i have ever seen in my life! I mean seriously? What was that song even about! It was awful! No points and I banish you from the alliance forever under penalty of death!"

Garrosh stood up. "It is not often that I agree with that honourless dog over there but now is that moment. I will have the Kor'Kron hunt that girl down and cause pain to her the likes that could never quite mtach what we've had to endure. Nil pois!"

Varian and Garrosh brofisted.

Bolvar cleared his throat. "I liked it! Eight points!"

Suddenly a dark portal appeared at the back of the judges podium. A gigantic red Eredar stepped out from it.

I AM KIL'JAEDEN! I A DEMAND TO BE ON THE JUDGES PANEL!

A'dal turned to face the Eredar. You are not welcome here demon. We shall send you back to whence you came.

YOU FACE KIL'JAEDEN! EREDAR LORD OF THE BURNING LEGION! AND YOU FACE HIM NOT ALONE BUT THE LEGIONS HE COMMANDS! A horde of demons appears from the portal and carries A'dal through it.

RIGHT! I AM JUDGING NOW AND I GIVE THAT DRAENEI TRAITOR A ZERO OUT OF TEN! I HAVE SPOKEN! Garrosh reaches over to brofist Kil'Jaeden but gets stared down.

"It looks like Xana's been given the lowest score we've ever had in this competition with an eight! Lets hope the next contestant can top that!"

[Synaxis]

Noxvari, in all her morbid glory, strides cockily up to the center of the stage in a shockingly skimpy black knee-length robe more becoming of a warlock than any kind of death knight. With a small gesture and a mischievous look, a freshly-risen ghoul comes scampering out onto the stage beside her. He himself looks like a classy man, possibly Gilnean in origin, but definitely dead and completely mentally dominated. With another mischievous, borderline seductive look at the panel of judges - Kil'jaeden included - she embraced the ghoul, and he embraced her, and the two launched into an active tango. Clearly death did not do much in the way of limiting the mobility of either of 'em.

There was much hip-shaking and borderline inappropriate hand-action to this dance; the pair flitted across the stage this way and that, Nox full of cocky smirks and sultry looks, and her zombie-partner.. expressionless but completely compliant. The pair, after having danced about the middle of the stage, tangoed their way back to the dead center, where the zombie-man dramatically caught Nox in his bony arms. She, being similar to this particular panel of judges in her tendency toward violence, was able to wrap an arm around her undead minion and put him on the ground, where he sat, looking innocently oblivious as Nox held a little silver dagger to his already very dead throat, giving the judges a most suggestive smile. And then she cut the zombie right across the throat, and whether he fell limp from the cut or from some other action Nox took - perhaps telling him to play dead - could be debated, but he definitely looked like he'd been kill't!

Rising to her feet and taking the deepest of bows, she strutted arrogantly off the stage, leaving her undead familiar lying facedown in front of the judges!

[Aramore]

"Our first blood elf of the competition! An undead one at that! What will our judges think of Noxvari?"

I ENJOYED THAT DANCE BECAUSE IT MADE ME HAPPY IN PLACES THAT I THOUGHT ONLY ARCHIMONDE KNEW HOW TO PLEASURE. NINE OUT OF TEN! Kil'jeaden shouted across the room. Next to him his fellow judges shuddered at the thought of the eredar's pleasure time.

"You are a Scourge monstrosity! Your kind killed me! And somehow you're free from my will! But even through that you still managed to do some pretty damn good dancing. Seven out of ten."

"Herp a derp me like...mon! Eight outta ten brudder." Garrosh spoke in an uncharacteristically quiet voice. Next to him Varian stared at him with concern.

"You ok man...orc...?" Varian asked grabbing his shoulder with concern. As he grabbed the shoulder the orc fell to the ground and behind him a troll sat holding his arms.

"Peace brudder, I just be makin' good ona promise. It looks like I be in charge of duh Horde now. And I stand by my predecessors score of eight outta ten. Mon." Vol'jin called out.

"I'm not sure why we don't ally with trolls if they're as good at taking our orcs as you are. Oh right the voting. Look at what you scum did to our kingdom! I will not be awarding any points to such a vile race. Zero."

"Final score looks to be twenty four out of forty! Who'd have guessed that? Onwards to our next contestant!"

[Jackthegreat]

A booming voice came over the speakers. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Demons and Dragons, Druids and... Garrosh, Please welcome to the stage, the mighty and powerful, one day to rule the world, a giant among men, a hero among heroes, the most amazi-" the voice was cut off "GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!" "Right sorry! Please welcome Zook the Tinkerer!"

A Gnome slowly walked on stage...in a tutu no less and a bow tied into his beard. He took a bow.

"Position one! Queue Music! Begin!" He cried as Claire De Lune by Claude Debussy began to play.

The gnome began by slowly raising his arms into an arc over his head, he performed a spin and crouched down then dramatically looked towards the sky as he reached his arm towards it. His face began to tear up. Suddenly and unexpectedly he dashed across the stage preforming a beautiful leap stretching each leg as far as they could go. He landed and jumped back into the air preform a heart wrenchingly emotional spin. He collapsed to the floor and reached forward towards the judges. As he did, flower petals rained from the sky above him and a spotlight shown brightly on the gnomes figure.

[Sora Dawnblade]

Claps erupted as the gnome got toe punted across the auditorium. Shaza'kiel flash burned the petals falling with Fel flames. Assuming a pose, he burst into a Capoeira routine, dancing and martial arts rolled into a single package. The Fel flames grew brighter and hotter as the dance went on, the footprints on the stage becoming huge clawed prints. An indistinct image of an Annihilan appeared over him, comically dancing the same capoeira moves. At the end of the routine, a large arc of Fel energy tore a rent in the stage as he bowed.

[Aramore]

"Well then... it appears that due to the length of the introduction to the first contestant a second contestant has also joined the stage. For this reason we shall consider them a double act, judges your scores please!"

TRIFLING GNOME! YOUR ARROGANCE WILL BE YOUR UNDOING! Kil'Jaeden immediately roared but before he could get another word out chains appeared around him. A look of pure horror grew upon his face as he knew what was happening.

"I'm in charge here!" A solitary figure called from the back of the room. He walked slowly forward, his shadow casting a menacing darkness upon the crowd. Eventully the figure reached the judge's seat. "It is I! Wilfred Fizzlebang! Master summoner and you demon are bound to me! I banish you to whence you came so that I might take my place in this competition." He roared to a stunned crow. Kil'jaeden disappeared into nothingess as Wilfred took his seat. "I award the first half of the act three out of five and the second half four out of five. A total of seven out of ten!"

Bolvar coughed to clear his throat. "I did rather enjoy the part where the gnome danced but the demonic second half was quite frankly awful. I give it a sizzling six out of ten."

"Dat darkness be bad juju brudder, and me tinks gnome are just wrong." He looked a a moent at Wilfred Fizzlebang. "Except juh of course, juh be duh best t'ing in this competition... either way. I be givin' dis' a two outta ten."

Varian stood up as soon as the other finished. "The punting of a member of the alliance is not acceptable! I declare immediate war with whatever you are! Five out of five for the gnome and zero for the demon thingy..."

"So we have a grand total of twenty out of forty for those pair! Just what will we see next?!"