Need some unconventional advice

[bearxfoo]

Since there are so many uniquely minded people here, I figured it couldn't hurt to ask for some help/advice.

Basically, my fiancé and I live with my mother and grandmother. It sucks. But we have a bedroom and a loft. The bedroom is quite small, and only has room for our bed and dressers. Our loft is where our television, couch, console's and both of our computer desk's are.

The loft, by definition, is open. We have absolutely no privacy and, what's worse off is that we have no where to escape from my grandmother (it's a long story, but she's crazy and mean and etc, talks to us for hours at a time, doesn't understand when we're raiding so she'll literally put things in front of our faces while doing so, etc etc etc).

My question is, could anybody help us figure out a way to close off our loft? The walls are not even, so a pole to hang a curtain across is not terribly possible (although I wouldn't say impossible?). I'm not crafty or "creative" enough to think of a way to close it off without building a wall, so that's why I'm here. I figured so many people come to MMO, somebody has got to have a good idea somewhere!

For reference, here is the floor plan: http://www.lombardohomes.com/pdf_doc...rd%20EL-FP.pdf

[docatron]

I really would like to help, but looking at the floor plans I can't think of anything you can do to "block off" the area for privacy without cutting her (grandma) off as well. I think the best thing to do is to just adapt, deal with it, and aspire to move out asap. lol

EDIT: Get some 550 cord and hang your curtains that way I suppose. Could be a temporary fix, but don't expect grandma to adhere to those bounderies, and certainly don't expect her to accept your shutting her out.

[Speaknoevil]

Looking at the floor plans I see there is no hope for you.

Move out, or try to get a different set of rooms for the two of you.

Talk to your mother about the problem, and needing more privacy. See if she will let you have a part of the house that you can close off when you want to.

[bearxfoo]

I thought about curtains for sure. I was trying to think if I could makeshift some poles to hang them from. I also thought about getting some of those 3M hooks and hanging them from the ceiling so I can hang a curtain or something from that.

My mom is well aware of our problem. Long story short, before we moved into this house, it was my mother in my position. Her bed room was the living room so she got the torture I endure now, and she finally has a private room for herself. She's unwilling to move, lol (as her room is the only other option).

My fiancé is about a week away from becoming a certified blood draw tech (phlebotomist) and he's already begun applying for jobs at a few local hospitals. We're hoping he'll get a decent job and we can move out within the next year. It's just maintaining our sanity for that year until we can, lol.

But, I appreciate a few people looking at least! Thanks

[ptwonline]

Any barrier you put up is not going to stop your grandmother if she's truly that pushy, unless you can lock it shut. And putting up such an obtrusive barrier is obviously going to cause other problems. It's probably better to talk to your mother and she if she can manage to get it through to your grandmother about the need for privacy and not being interrupted. If you can get that then your options are plentiful.

Let's face it: as long as you are living with them, you are going to have to accept compromises on your privacy.

The loft looks like it is open at the top of the stairs? May re-arrange the furniture so that taller furniture blocks it off like a wall? You can also try standing screens to create partitions/walls if you think curtains are not possible.

[bearxfoo]

I think I may rearrange our stuff and maybe put the couch with the back facing the stairway, they may help a little. My mom suggested a like.. folding decorative, like.. three panel wall-ish thing (can't remember the technical term for it, but I guess basically what was suggested, the folding type screen deal). We have a hyper dog though, so that may not work (he'd likely knock it over).

The saddest part is that, my grandmother is not.... mentally stable, to put it bluntly. She suffers from an array of issues, most notable a few different personality disorders (never officially diagnosed due to the nature of personality disorders). Because of that, she basically doesn't give a damn about us. It's very long and complicated. So we're just trying to make do with what we got to keep ourselves sane until we move out, lol.

[Deleted]

It'd be pretty rude to put up curtains to cut her out, especially if it's her house. My best advice would be get some headphones and pretend you can't hear her while you're raiding.

[bearxfoo]

I'm not really looking for "what is rude" and "what isn't rude" when I haven't given (many) specific of the situation we're in. I'd like just for feedback on how to give ourselves more privacy, without personal opinions interjected

[kostamojin]

I'm not really looking for "what is rude" and "what isn't rude" when I haven't given (many) specific of the situation we're in. I'd like just for feedback on how to give ourselves more privacy, without personal opinions interjected

raid naked?

[Deleted]

Buy a shed and put everything in the back garden like Ive done, My wife doesn't let me smoke in the house so i Bought a large shed, insulated it then ran power and a cat 5 cable, my own man cave.

Could you 2 no afford to move out?

[Deleted]

I'm not really looking for "what is rude" and "what isn't rude" when I haven't given (many) specific of the situation we're in. I'd like just for feedback on how to give ourselves more privacy, without personal opinions interjected

Oh right.

Get a gun. When she comes in wave the gun at her. That'll probably do the trick.

[speehs]

Break your grandmother's legs. Problem solved.

On a slightly more serious note, I feel your pain. I lived for three terrifying years with my parents and my dementia-riddled grandmother who literally thought I was her cat. The only advice I know to give is perhaps to put a double door at the top of the stairs and keep it locked from the inside as long as your grandmother is downstairs.

[Skippy88]

I see there's on the floor plan 3 bedrooms plus the loft. If your mother has one and your grandmother has the second bedroom who's got the third bedroom? Also, the floor plans say you could change the loft and change it into a 4th bedroom. Any way of doing that? Lastly, the plans don't mention a basement. Do you have one and can that be used at all?

[crakerjack]

So you ignore your grandma to play WoW... you act as if that itself isn't an issue... configure your life man... in all honesty, you need to quit WoW if you're ignoring your family for 2-3 hours while you raid... this just pisses me off that you purposely ignore FAMILY because you feel that your raid is more important, shame on you.

[bigmalaka]

im not a construction guy or arketect or anything like that. i do no that you shudnt be such a loser. move out if you dont like your sichuation. try haveing sex with your gf on the loft a few times in front of them maybe they will move out instead.
lol loser

<Infracted>

[bearxfoo]

Firstly, I'm a chick

Secondly, I'm not looking for personal advice. I'm not looking for "stop ignoring ur family ur bad" or anything like that. I'm not giving a lot of details of our personal situation, with good reason. This is not a typical family situation for a lot of reasons, and my grandmother is not a typical grandmother. We can change the situation if you'd like and we can pretend there's four 20 something's living together and my fiance and I want more privacy from them, yeah?

I'm 23 and my fiance is 24, and no, where we live, we can't afford to move out right now. The cost of living where we're at is high, and we simply don't make enough money, which is pretty common in our economy for ALL age groups, not just ours.

Third, I just want creative advice on how to increase our privacy. I appreciate the people who HAVE actually given me some

There is a basement, but there is only ONE outlet in the entire thing. So even with a surge protector, we couldn't move down there because we have way too much stuff to plug in

My grandmother has the master, my mom has bedroom 2, and we have bedroom 3, but it's so incredibly tiny that it literally only fits our bed and dressers.

The shed idea would be cool! But the homeowners association, I believe, doesn't allow them

Plus, I'm not ignoring my family during raid time, this is an all day, 24 hour issue we have. I just gave raiding as an example because 1) this is MMO and 2) it demonstrates the lack of personal space and privacy we have.

[Twoflower]

So you ignore your grandma to play WoW... you act as if that itself isn't an issue... configure your life man... in all honesty, you need to quit WoW if you're ignoring your family for 2-3 hours while you raid... this just pisses me off that you purposely ignore FAMILY because you feel that your raid is more important, shame on you.

Bla bla as if you can not have a few hours for yourself once in a while. Everybody has his privat time, and everybody can chose how he spends it, and everybody ( even family ) should accept that.

On topic : sorry, but I can not think of anything but : move out allready.

[Arcadem]

Firstly, I'm a chick

Secondly, I'm not looking for personal advice. I'm not looking for "stop ignoring ur family ur bad" or anything like that. I'm not giving a lot of details of our personal situation, with good reason. This is not a typical family situation for a lot of reasons, and my grandmother is not a typical grandmother. We can change the situation if you'd like and we can pretend there's four 20 something's living together and my fiance and I want more privacy from them, yeah?

I'm 23 and my fiance is 24, and no, where we live, we can't afford to move out right now. The cost of living where we're at is high, and we simply don't make enough money, which is pretty common in our economy for ALL age groups, not just ours.

Third, I just want creative advice on how to increase our privacy. I appreciate the people who HAVE actually given me some

There is a basement, but there is only ONE outlet in the entire thing. So even with a surge protector, we couldn't move down there because we have way too much stuff to plug in

My grandmother has the master, my mom has bedroom 2, and we have bedroom 3, but it's so incredibly tiny that it literally only fits our bed and dressers.

The shed idea would be cool! But the homeowners association, I believe, doesn't allow them

Plus, I'm not ignoring my family during raid time, this is an all day, 24 hour issue we have. I just gave raiding as an example because 1) this is MMO and 2) it demonstrates the lack of personal space and privacy we have.

Switch your beds and dressers to the loft, and put your pc's in the small room. Which will most likely have a lock or insert one.

[Dembai]

Switch your beds and dressers to the loft, and put your pc's in the small room. Which will most likely have a lock or insert one.

I agree with this, if you are unable or unwilling to build a wall and a door to seal the loft from your grandmother.

It might be a bit cramped, but installing a simple lock on the bedroom door will cut down on grandma visits when you're looking for some privacy.

And hanging a curtain to deal with "well, it's our bedroom now" seems more something that a grumpy grandmother could possibly understand and recognise.

Another option, not that it's NICE, per se, is that IF you are paying rent you are HER TENANT, and deserve privacy AT ALL TIMES unless she gives you written or verbal notice 24 hours or more in advance.

I've had to deal with a landlady who thought that "it's my house, so why can't I just walk in at all times?" and did so much to my great irritation without ANY warning. I finally told her off because she'd be freaking out at the mess and I'd be like "You didn't tell me you were coming, what the hell do you want from me?"

Even though she's grandma, if you are paying her rent - I would take this up with her and your mother, and point out that even though you love her, you'd really prefer it if you could have some time to yourself, and that IF she wants to talk and hang out that she ASKS before coming into the loft and making demands of you.

[Christan]

this is jokingly of course...

but have you thought of a shock collar? or one of the sonic non-shock kinds training collars?

as for how to actually help OP...no idea, one thing family usually can't stand, is if they walk into sex talk...
so you and your gf pretend you are horny? maybe the grandmother will just back away and leave the room...

idk...idea has been tossed out there.