We Are the Reason Kids Nowadays Get So Much Handholding!

[checking facts]

Every once in a while I see someone complaining about how kids get far too much hand holding and how society protects kids too much. But guess what? it's all our fault!

Definition: "We" is defined from now on as "people from the generations before the current generation of children"

Some people say that "when I was a kid you didn't have to say 'don't try this at home!' because we weren't complete morons back than".

well, guess what? it's because some people WERE complete morons back than and did try those things at home, often getting hurt or worse, that we tell kids not to do those things at home in the cartoons they watch.

All cases of modern hand holding are reactionary to things that the previous generations did. STUPID things, things that proved that we, human beings, need to be protected from ourselves as much as we need protection against the weather or against tigers.

So, the next time the thought that "kids get too much hand holding nowadays" crosses your mind, take some time to remember all the stupid, self harming things you have ever done. remember them and keep in mind that you had a hand on this hand holding.

[Ayla]

I dont think you understand just how controlling todays helicopter parents are. I also dont quite get the point you are trying to make. Are you trying to say because I fell off a chair as a kid, that chairs should have seatbelts? Sorry, but no.

[Sykol]

I never got seriously injured or lost a limb to stupid shit as a kid because I wasn't retarded. Everyone else who got out of childhood unscathed can say the same thing. There's no need to delay natural selection until one of these stupid kids is old enough to drive or do something to hurt others.

[Dispersedshadow]

We didn't say "don't try this at home" because we didn't have to – if you were stupid enough to try it, you suffered the consequences. We either understood or learned that actions have consequences, good or bad. Seems like some parents these days only want their children to experience the good outcomes their actions have and not get the learning experience gained by dealing with negative consequences.

[Rukh]

Every generation thinks it's the last
Thinks it's the end of the world


Don't worry, our parents thought we were terrible too. The kids are alright.

[cooespooh]

One of the ideas that I've heard about the attitudes towards current generations is based on a sort-of... reactionary effect from the Baby Boomers.

Now, I'm 22 years old, and my parents are in their 60s, from the baby boomer generation. One of the things that I've heard talked about is the fact that in the current generation of kids and my own generation, the idea imposed on kids was that everyone always wins and no one can lose. Everyone gets a prize, no matter how well you did, everyone comes out on top even if you didn't do anything to get there. This mindset imposed on kids comes from the parents of these generations, and the fact that they, when THEY were kids, didn't get this same idea imposed on them.

The idea that I've been told about on this is that... well... parents of the current generation had to fight for what they wanted, due to having so much competition in everything from finding love to finding a job, due to being such a huge generation of people. As a result, since lives were so tough and competition was so fierce in so many aspects of life, subconsciously those generations didn't want their children to have to go through the same sadness and hardship from NOT coming out on top and NOT being the best at everything. So, because of their own upbringing, they made their children's upbringing much easier and much less troubled so they wouldn't have to go through the same crap.

As a result, we get a generation that is overall less competitive, more entitled, and less willing to work for anything.

I'm not saying that I'm not part of this; I'm 22 years old and I have to kick my ass repeatedly every day to do ANYTHING because of how I was brought up... as well as because of a lot of other things that are my own fault.

[Deleted]

I blame the news.

They seem to spend all their time telling you how bad the world is, which ofcourse makes parents more nervous.

On the brightside I'm giving my children a spartan upbringing.

[Underverse]

Helicopter parents are no good, but I see nothing bad about helping each other out

[StaeleAilar]

I dont think you understand just how controlling todays helicopter parents are. I also dont quite get the point you are trying to make. Are you trying to say because I fell off a chair as a kid, that chairs should have seatbelts? Sorry, but no.

Then there's the issue of the grandparents who let their kids run wild, get pregnant at 15 and are now trying to correct their mistakes by protecting their grandkids from everything there is in the world.

To be honest i never did anything absurdly stupid resulting in self harm that i saw on tv or anywhere else. It doesn't really take a genious to realise that I as a regular person, cannot and should not surf on cars, or jump from 8 foot in the air onto someone on the ground etc etc. I dunno... Maybe that's just me.

[Paladin885]

Some people say that "when I was a kid you didn't have to say 'don't try this at home!' because we weren't complete morons back than".

when people say that I like to remind them how many chemicals (now banned) were in their products, how much lead paint were in the toys, and how little the government was involved with our daily lives and allowed things to go unnoticed because as long as it "wasn't killing anyone now ("then") then why worry?"

Luckily our ego's got the best of us in the 80s and the news finally started to make things public because back in the day we were all left in the dark to have 100% faith that everything was safe. Now we know that corporations who cut corners get caught red handed.

[Christan]

I dont think you understand just how controlling todays helicopter parents are. I also dont quite get the point you are trying to make. Are you trying to say because I fell off a chair as a kid, that chairs should have seatbelts? Sorry, but no.

1high seats (chairs with seatbelts) are there because kids that young fall off chairs, true story, made mainly for toddlers.

2if a kid needs a seatbelt in a chair after 4 years old something else is the problem.


1kids with problems are there because of either to lenient or to controlling parents, true story, and parents are (supposed to be there) to raise kids properly.

2if a kid has a problem while being raised properly something else is the problem.

in these cases i blame media / social influences(or mental illness is a possibility), when a parent expects a toddler to not fall when using a regular chair, or expects their kid to grow up perfectly is kind of silly, constant vigilance is required by parents, this, to some minors is "to controlling"
while in reality "to controlling" is getting beaten for looking at them the wrong way, or having to go outside and pick a switch for them to use on you because you said a bad word...or having belt buckle marks on your back and buttocks because your stepfather was very upset when you did something actually bad.

getting off with soap in the mouth or being grounded is NOT to controlling, nor is regular corporal punishment.

there are levels of control, and i went to identify specifically punishment, this doesn't mean a parent can't be to controlling even if no REAL punishment is dished out.
an aside from that, parents wanting to meet their offsprings friends is not to controlling either, this prevents the aforementioned (societal influences) at least part of it, of course media does play a huge role in how kids turn out.

[Flatspriest]

Another large reason why kids are the way they are today is that the stupid government stepped in and basically said that we, as adults, cannot discipline our children and teach them. Yes, there is a difference between child abuse and discipline, and many stepped over the lines. However, without the degree of discipline that used to be predominant, children think the whole world owes them.

[Kraenen]

We didn't say "don't try this at home" because we didn't have to – if you were stupid enough to try it, you suffered the consequences. We either understood or learned that actions have consequences, good or bad. Seems like some parents these days only want their children to experience the good outcomes their actions have and not get the learning experience gained by dealing with negative consequences.

Depends on how old you are. That saying goes back as far as TV does.

---------- Post added 2013-04-21 at 06:31 AM ----------

Another large reason why kids are the way they are today is that the stupid government stepped in and basically said that we, as adults, cannot discipline our children and teach them. Yes, there is a difference between child abuse and discipline, and many stepped over the lines. However, without the degree of discipline that used to be predominant, children think the whole world owes them.

How did that happen? Not allowed to assault your kid anymore and that's a bad thing?

[Flatspriest]

Depends on how old you are. That saying goes back as far as TV does.

---------- Post added 2013-04-21 at 06:31 AM ----------



How did that happen? Not allowed to assault your kid anymore and that's a bad thing?

As I stated, there is a difference between discipline and child abuse. Without discipline, the kids now rule the world and have no idea there are consequences for their actions. Perhaps you did not have enough discipline growing up or you would understand the difference.

[Kraenen]

As I stated, there is a difference between discipline and child abuse. Without discipline, the kids now rule the world and have no idea there are consequences for their actions. Perhaps you did not have enough discipline growing up or you would understand the difference.

No I had enough, that's why I know your argument is bs because you haven't once given me factual evidence of the government stopping you from disciplining your kids when it's not an assault/abuse.

[Underverse]

As I stated, there is a difference between discipline and child abuse. Without discipline, the kids now rule the world and have no idea there are consequences for their actions. Perhaps you did not have enough discipline growing up or you would understand the difference.

The thing with discipline is that it's basically baseless punishment (from the kid's perspective). I feel like reasoning with them would be more effective, even though kids don't really go with reason all the time.

[sandmoth12]

Op how dare you actually make sense and take blame even on your own shoulders and grow as a person on these forums. Don't you know that it's everyone elses fault except your own here?

[Ayla]

an aside from that, parents wanting to meet their offsprings friends is not to controlling either, this prevents the aforementioned (societal influences) at least part of it, of course media does play a huge role in how kids turn out.

No, Im talking about the parents who refuse to let their 12 year old use a butter knife, use a mircrowave or allow their 16 year old to take a bus on their own, or go for a walk/run alone. My boyfriends brother is writing his strata council because there is concrete along a path to a park and its going to harm his children somehow. He wants it replaced with wood. I'm talking about the extremeophobes.

I fell off a chair when I was 6ish, but it was a bar chair, so I was trying to get off it, missed a rung and fell and broke my arm.

[Beat5beat]

...
1kids with problems are there because of either to lenient or to controlling parents, true story, and parents are (supposed to be there) to raise kids properly....
\

Not to take away from your actual points, but the word is "too" when meaning in addition to or more than enough.

[lokithor]

I really dont know. I was born in 80 and got abused as a kid so my story is different.

The way I was abused is totally different from todays kids though.

---------- Post added 2013-04-21 at 02:33 AM ----------

Not to take away from your actual points, but the word is "too" when meaning in addition to or more than enough.

unless hes foriegn he doesn't nor should know the difference