Sexual Harassment from a different angle

[Theodarzna]

Well the dating scene has officially died if it is now sexual harassment, to invite someone of the opposite sex for a drink and to get to know them..

I'm wondering if Matchmaker Yenta will make a comeback as the Millennial generation seems to reject the sexual liberation movement of the 60s-70s.

[Deleted]

People don't ask you to come drink with them unless they want to get to know you.

They want sex

[Katie N]

They want sex

Then they just go to a prostitute if that's the only thing they want.

[Deleted]

You said usually exclusive? In which you are saying its probably 95%+ a work place issue, which its not.

Also, saying that initiating conversation, no matter how creepy it is, is harassment, makes other posters points about just becoming a hermit because its not worth it, valid responses.

You just attributed a random number to a word which just means generally

[Deleted]

Then they just go to a prostitute if that's the only thing they want.

You really need to educate yourself on the West

[Sinyc]

So obviously 'sexual harassment' is a hot topic and a lot of men are dismissing some claims (rightfully so in some cases) but I thought I would try a different angle. The best way perhaps to avoid sexual harassment accusations from women is to instead put yourself in a similar situation, for example think how you would feel if another man approached you and how you would feel. Would you be comfortable if a man held you and said "You're cute!" or "I like your hair, want to come to my hotel room for drinks?"

None of that is sexual harassment or "assault". It's just called being a creep.

I have women at work compliment my body, muscles, eyes, etc. I don't call rape every time that happens. I get there are different standards for men and women, but come on with your weak argument.

[Deleted]

I think you are just projecting now.

No stranger goes up to somebody and says "You're cute come to my hotel room" to just talk

[Katie N]

You really need to educate yourself on the West

Do prostitutes not exist there?

[Deleted]

None of that is sexual harassment or "assault". It's just called being a creep.

I have women at work compliment my body, muscles, eyes, etc. I don't call rape every time that happens. I get there are different standards for men and women, but come on with your weak argument.

Nobody mentioned assault or rape

[Deleted]

Do prostitutes not exist there?

Yeah and you usually fuck 'em in cars. Going to somebody and inviting them to your hotel room is always the unspoken "Want sex?" if you're interested in getting to know each other you invite to a cafe or bar

- - - Updated - - -

You can invite someone out for a drink without wanting to bang them :P

At a bar sure, not a hotel room

[Elim Garak]

Harassment and Sexual Harassment are defined separately

The definition you provided uses the term Harassment, it's like the very first word in it. It explicitly states that "sexual harassment is harassment with these sexual modifiers"
Harassment is doing something to someone more than once after being told to cease doing it.

Coming up to someone and asking "wanna fuck?" is not sexual harassment. Doing it again and again after getting a "no" - IS.

[Molis]

Hot guy walks up to a girl at a bar and touches her arm. Can I buy you a drink and see where the night goes. Oh yes sit right here.

Ugly guy walks up to a girl at a bar and touches her arm. Can I buy you a drink and see where the night goes. Rape whistle comes out.

[Kathandira]

Why does it have to be a man, why can't it be a hot girl?

I like the angle Adam is taking, however he isn't using the term that helps this all make sense.

Intimidation.

When a woman approaches a man, he isn't very likely to feel any intimidation in the sense of literal danger. However, women would be more likely to feel intimidated by a man who approaches her.

This is why this counter-point is presented as a man approaching another man. Because it can put a man in the shoes of a woman and how they may feel intimidated.

[Deleted]

I like the angle Adam is taking, however he isn't using the term that helps this all make sense.

Intimidation.

When a woman approaches a man, he isn't very likely to feel any intimidation in the sense of literal danger. However, women would be more likely to feel intimidated by a man who approaches her.

This is why this counter-point is presented as a man approaching another man. Because it can put a man in the shoes of a woman and how they may feel intimidated.

I perhaps should've used the word intimidation

[baskev]

So obviously 'sexual harassment' is a hot topic and a lot of men are dismissing some claims (rightfully so in some cases) but I thought I would try a different angle. The best way perhaps to avoid sexual harassment accusations from women is to instead put yourself in a similar situation, for example think how you would feel if another man approached you and how you would feel. Would you be comfortable if a man held you and said "You're cute!" or "I like your hair, want to come to my hotel room for drinks?"

a other adam86 thread sigh.....did you not make like 3 or 4 threads on this subject alone?

[Katie N]

I like the angle Adam is taking, however he isn't using the term that helps this all make sense.

Intimidation.

When a woman approaches a man, he isn't very likely to feel any intimidation in the sense of literal danger. However, women would be more likely to feel intimidated by a man who approaches her.

This is why this counter-point is presented as a man approaching another man. Because it can put a man in the shoes of a woman and how they may feel intimidated.

Very few men are intimidating when they try to flirt with you. Most are just awkward, some are weird and very few are intimidating.

[Speaknoevil]

So obviously 'sexual harassment' is a hot topic and a lot of men are dismissing some claims (rightfully so in some cases) but I thought I would try a different angle. The best way perhaps to avoid sexual harassment accusations from women is to instead put yourself in a similar situation, for example think how you would feel if another man approached you and how you would feel. Would you be comfortable if a man held you and said "You're cute!" or "I like your hair, want to come to my hotel room for drinks?"

None of this is harassment unless you do it constantly and continue when asked to stop, even then it isn't sexual harassment.

[Kathandira]

I think most men would not feel intimidated if another man threatens him, but more aggression.

Depends. If a 6'2 guy threatened me, I would feel quite intimidated. I'm only 5'8" and about 150lbs. A dude who is much bigger than me would make me feel intimidated.

[Deleted]

So obviously 'sexual harassment' is a hot topic and a lot of men are dismissing some claims (rightfully so in some cases) but I thought I would try a different angle. The best way perhaps to avoid sexual harassment accusations from women is to instead put yourself in a similar situation, for example think how you would feel if another man approached you and how you would feel. Would you be comfortable if a man held you and said "You're cute!" or "I like your hair, want to come to my hotel room for drinks?"

I have had gay guys hit on me in way more direct ways than that. It felt a little wierd because im not gay, but i just said "No thanks, im not gay" and kinda walked away.

[Sunseeker]

Ya'll need to get it through your dome that sexual harassment is less about what is said and more about who is saying it, where they're saying it and when they're saying.

Telling your coworker she's cute...while she's filing papers is probably bad.
Telling your coworker she's cute...when the two of you run into each other at a local pub is probably not.

Telling your coworker she's cute while you block the exit from the filing room is probably really bad.
Telling your coworker she's cute while you check out your groceries is probably fine.

At least for statements where there may be grey area. There really shouldn't be any grey area on things like "Hey honey nice tits!" regardless of when or where you say it.