Its completely normal to look for others while going on dates with some1 right?

[Celista]

Whenever I am dating men there's always red flags I avoid such as texting too much, talking about a relationship too soon and wanting my attention 24/7. If either of these occur I cut ties. I do not want a needy co-dependent boyfriend. Being there, done that, fuck it happening again.

And there's nothing wrong with that, people have different relationship styles. I am the same...but some people really get into relationships and want to talk/be together 24/7 in the beginning, that's ok too (unless it gets truly codependent, but being together a lot doesn't *necessarily* mean a relationship is codependent). Sounds like the OP might be more of the latter type.

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I mean you're right. You need to love yourself and not expect others to do it for you. Something unfortunately too many don't understand. I know people in their 40s that cannot find a boyfriend because of this.

Yeah. Sometimes it takes a whole lot of work for a person to get to a point of loving themselves.

[Deleted]

Texting too much? What? Like sending you like 200 messages in a day?

Like I don't know, texting every 10min. I text in the morning once then have a conversation for an hour on the phone or WhatsApp in the evening

[Freighter]

Like I don't know, texting every 10min. I text in the morning once then have a conversation for an hour on the phone or WhatsApp in the evening

The fuck?

I message when I wake up, saying good morning, asking about their morning, if they've eaten yet and reminding them about various things. Checking in on them around lunch, ask what they've had for lunch. If they're done for the day at work yet. If they've gotten home yet when done at work. Asking about their day when they've gotten home.

Usually end up around 50 messages a day.

[Independent voter]

Texting too much? What? Like sending you like 200 messages in a day?

Like over 12

[Liarparadox]

I mean, youd never get anything done if you just stick to 1 person exclusiively for a minor probability of something (ie just like youd never give 1 job application then wait patiently until it gets declined THEN you send a different one and repeat).

i was in an emotional breakdown the whole night and he was so sweet and talked to me and made me feel happy till the morning anyway he was so sweet and we both really like japanese stuff.

anyway he didnt finish halfway through the conversation and didndt text me till like 7 hrs, and didnt evne reply to my question. he mellowed out a bit anyway and we was talking about our date but it wasnt as intimate as the night before.

I'm guessing hes also doing other stuff right? he didnt seem to mind me looking for other things at the time.

Normal? yes absolutely normal. Recommended? I'm not sure really; maybe fore some people; I know it's very trendy right now. But I'm a bit skeptical with this kind of approach. I have friends who do this and they don't seem any better off. They honestly seem to me to be deficient in their views of relationships. REgardless, comparing a person to a job? Bad mindset right there. If I knew a girl was thinking about relationships in that way, it'd end it immediately for me. If you're with someone and feel the need to look at others to see what else MAY be out there, sorry but your relationship is already over. Respect yourself, respect the person you're dating. Be brave/mature and move on.

[Ashnazg]

The fuck?

I message when I wake up, saying good morning, asking about their morning, if they've eaten yet and reminding them about various things. Checking in on them around lunch, ask what they've had for lunch. If they're done for the day at work yet. If they've gotten home yet when done at work. Asking about their day when they've gotten home.

Usually end up around 50 messages a day.

I think its highly individual. Your messaging style to me would be (s)mothering.

[Deleted]

The fuck?

I message when I wake up, saying good morning, asking about their morning, if they've eaten yet and reminding them about various things. Checking in on them around lunch, ask what they've had for lunch. If they're done for the day at work yet. If they've gotten home yet when done at work. Asking about their day when they've gotten home.

Usually end up around 50 messages a day.

I don't need to ask that because I will be talking with them properly and having a real conversation at the end of the day. I may occasionally send the "thinking of you" or "looking forward chatting tonight" but no, I wouldn't entertain a relationship with somebody that requires 50 messages a day.

[Independent voter]

I think its highly individual. Your messaging style to me would be (s)mothering.

Dave Chapelle said

Women read women's magazines that tell them "35 ways to keep a man". That's wrong, there's only 3 things you need to do to keep a man.

Make him a sandwich, **** *** ****, and don't talk so much.

[zenkai]

I mean, youd never get anything done if you just stick to 1 person exclusiively for a minor probability of something (ie just like youd never give 1 job application then wait patiently until it gets declined THEN you send a different one and repeat).

i was in an emotional breakdown the whole night and he was so sweet and talked to me and made me feel happy till the morning anyway he was so sweet and we both really like japanese stuff.

anyway he didnt finish halfway through the conversation and didndt text me till like 7 hrs, and didnt evne reply to my question. he mellowed out a bit anyway and we was talking about our date but it wasnt as intimate as the night before.

I'm guessing hes also doing other stuff right? he didnt seem to mind me looking for other things at the time.

When you just a start dating there is nothing wrong with dating multiple people, it's like a job interview, you're not committed. Me personally I narrow down to one person if I go on a 3rd date, obviously I am interested and I want to see where it goes. I find the women who I have told that I found someone, are often understanding,I mean after all it's only been a date or two. Some have even told me to look them up if it doesn't work out.


Dating sucks, glad I finally found the perfect woman for me

[LoopyLoop]

I would not say its not normal but at least acceptable before getting to the second date. From that point on one should focus on one person though. I still despise this hardcore dating where people try to just date as many people as possible just for the sake of dating someone.

[Natta Lmo]

date 1 person at a time...

[klepp0906]

If I found out someone is looking for others to date while dating me I'd just stop dating them.

we all do, you just dont realize it. welcome to the human condition. wired that way, its the reason we're still here as a species.

[TJ]

Imo, yes. Unless you have 2-3 good dates with someone and are approaching a proper relationship then I don't see a problem.

[XangXu]

Unless you consider yourself a “playah” then no, it’s a shitty thing to do.

[Deleted]

Unless you consider yourself a “playah” then no, it’s a shitty thing to do.

Why is it? Since when was dating exclusive?

[Mistame]

i was in an emotional breakdown the whole night and he was so sweet and talked to me and made me feel happy till the morning anyway he was so sweet and we both really like japanese stuff.

anyway he didnt finish halfway through the conversation and didndt text me till like 7 hrs, and didnt evne reply to my question. he mellowed out a bit anyway and we was talking about our date but it wasnt as intimate as the night before.

I'm guessing hes also doing other stuff right? he didnt seem to mind me looking for other things at the time.

Ugh. You don't really sound ready for anything serious. All that emo and cling is enough to drive even the softest person away. Just date around and take time to grow up before worrying about that shit.

The fuck?

I message when I wake up, saying good morning, asking about their morning, if they've eaten yet and reminding them about various things. Checking in on them around lunch, ask what they've had for lunch. If they're done for the day at work yet. If they've gotten home yet when done at work. Asking about their day when they've gotten home.

Usually end up around 50 messages a day.

I mean, you can't really put an arbitrary number on it. If you're having a conversation or something via text, the count can get up there fast. But if I have to constantly stop what I'm doing to answer texts, or they get upset because it takes too long for me to reply, then sorry, that's too much. We can talk when we're together. If I wanted to talk all the time, I'd be with them all the time. As far as what you do, that's probably more cultural than anything.

OT: Dating is not a relationship. If you're not serious, you're not exclusive and there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open. Your life > their feelings.

[dojichan]

Depends on the person...The key is to be clear. If you expect it to only be one person at a time, say so.

For most people you can go on a bunch of first dates with people in a row...but once you guys have gone on X dates you should switch to exclusivity.
But for other people you never have to be exclusive...
But for other people you always have to be exclusive...
Like everything in a relationship...honesty combined with talking to your partner is always the correct approach.

[Khaza-R]

Maybe for 1 or even 2 dates. But beyond that its entirely disrespectful unless the person is aware of it and is okay with it.

[VincentWolf]

I'd break up with that person right away, if I found out they're "looking for someone" while dating me. If you're not happy with me, then gtfo. Bitch.

[Najnaj]

I mean, youd never get anything done if you just stick to 1 person exclusiively for a minor probability of something (ie just like youd never give 1 job application then wait patiently until it gets declined THEN you send a different one and repeat).

i was in an emotional breakdown the whole night and he was so sweet and talked to me and made me feel happy till the morning anyway he was so sweet and we both really like japanese stuff.

anyway he didnt finish halfway through the conversation and didndt text me till like 7 hrs, and didnt evne reply to my question. he mellowed out a bit anyway and we was talking about our date but it wasnt as intimate as the night before.

I'm guessing hes also doing other stuff right? he didnt seem to mind me looking for other things at the time.

No such thing as normal in this case. There is right and wrong and if you are not being honest and forthcoming about seeing other people you are wrong.