Why are people so dishonest in their interactions?

[Phon]

They say they only want to be friends, then they try to make you break up with your partner because they want to be in a relationship with you. Why pretend to only want to be friends?

They give you something, say no strings attached but then at a later point, maybe a few weeks later or even months, they want you to do something because of the thing they gave you. Why say no strings attached if you expect a return?

You ask them if they want to go out to do anything and they say they're busy while they just don't want to do that. Why can't they just say they don't feel like going out or doing that thing?

[Zinstorm]

People tend to not be fully honest if they feel honesty will not go over well. In all three examples you have given be honest: if they were blunt with you on what they wanted would you have responded favorably? Chances are no... thus why they weren't honest.

Granted by the sound of it lying didn't grant a favorable reply ether... but in their view the odds were better than it would have been to get what they wanted then they would have been if they were up front honest with you.

[Stelio Kontos]

[Wyrt]

I feel like we're dealing with a "Nice" guy/girl situation here.

[lockedout]

I feel like we're dealing with a "Nice" guy/girl situation here.

AKA friendzoned.

[Bapestar]

Call them out on their bs in a respectful manner.

[Independent voter]

Women being flighty or wishy washy is cliche and maybe there's a reason for it. Some of it is that they are being more tactful because they don't want to hurt your feelings. Maybe some of it is strategic so they can get their way.

Compared to most men, women are a lot more social.

Confront her in a tactful way and talk to her. Ask her the questions you asked us. Maybe get her to drink a few beers first.

[Dwarfhamster]

Obviously we’re getting only OP’s perspective here. But circumstances change, people’s minds change. Accept that, and move on. Or don’t and just wallow in self-pity.

[Powerogue]

Whoever that is, cut ties with them I'd say. If you can't trust them on those basic things, that sets a terrible precedent on what to expect from them in the future.

It's not "people", it really is just certain people. You can find other people who suck slightly less.

Just make sure to do the same sort of reflection towards yourself. How consistent are you with prior promises and set expectations?

[Doctor Amadeus]

Take a good look at yourself in the mirror, and ask how are you then ask if you deserve anyone being more honest with you than you are with anyone else.

If your response is anything other than they shouldn't then you are the problem.

[Cosmic Janitor]

Dear diary,

today I asked random strangers on the internet, in a gaming forum no less, about basic human interactions and social dynamics. I'm sure they will provide me with the answers I seek. Next week I plan to ask 4chan about the purpose of life and why the universe exists. I'm sure they will bring me up to speed. In the meantime I will fill out that cash remittance for that nigerian prince who asked so nicely for my help and I'm sure he will pay it back, after all he even said so. Good night dear diary, xoxo

- - - Updated - - -

Obviously we’re getting only OP’s perspective here. But circumstances change, people’s minds change. Accept that, and move on. Or don’t and just wallow in self-pity.

The way I see it the OP describes 3 different scenarios/cases here, not neccesarily related. I don't think there is much more you'd get out of these cases by adding another perspective, as they are already very vague and downright cliche tbh.

People change their mind, people lie, people are selfish, people are greedy, people are many things, most of them not pleasant.
That is just a realization that everyone tends to have somewhere down the line, most just don't make melodramatic teen-angst posts about it.

[kamuimac]

They say they only want to be friends, then they try to make you break up with your partner because they want to be in a relationship with you. Why pretend to only want to be friends?

They give you something, say no strings attached but then at a later point, maybe a few weeks later or even months, they want you to do something because of the thing they gave you. Why say no strings attached if you expect a return?

You ask them if they want to go out to do anything and they say they're busy while they just don't want to do that. Why can't they just say they don't feel like going out or doing that thing?

because nobody wants honesty.

eerybody wants to hear sweet sweet lies.

the most funny are people who try to pick up with "friend method" - those people watched too many romantic comedies .

its usually beta males who are too insecure to just be honest and approach women openly . no wonder women are not interested in them.

[Stelio Kontos]

because nobody wants honesty.

eerybody wants to hear sweet sweet lies.

the most funny are people who try to pick up with "friend method" - those people watched too many romantic comedies .

its usually beta males who are too insecure to just be honest and approach women openly . no wonder women are not interested in them.

I try not to mix my social groups. When I meet a woman, I generally put her into one of three categories.

1. Someone I don't want to interact with (this group includes guys as well)
2. Someone I want to be friends with or maintain some sort of social contact (again, this applies to guys as well)
3. A woman I want to sleep with/date. If I'm friends with a woman it usually means I'm not interested in her. And likewise, if a woman turns me down, I'm rarely gonna be interested in being her friend.

[Dwarfhamster]

I try not to mix my social groups. When I meet a woman, I generally put her into one of three categories.

1. Someone I don't want to interact with (this group includes guys as well)
2. Someone I want to be friends with or maintain some sort of social contact (again, this applies to guys as well)
3. A woman I want to sleep with/date. If I'm friends with a woman it usually means I'm not interested in her. And likewise, if a woman turns me down, I'm rarely gonna be interested in being her friend.

Does number 3 include guys as well?