The Rhonin Diaries

[Izhara]

Just without all the cloth, plus some plate pauldrons.

And she loses her blood-tempered ranseur about ten pages in. And never seeks to retrieve it or find a replacement weapon.

[Deleted]

And she loses her blood-tempered ranseur about ten pages in. And never seeks to retrieve it or find a replacement weapon.

To be fair, she does find a rock, but the Supharr'saijann Gamon fries her hand before she can use it.

[Phenomina]

As smite readys his attack, rhonin puts on a monocle and casts flare! While smite is blinded, vereesa kills one of the raptors sorrounding rhonin and uses it's femur to fashion a bow, she plucks one of rhonins fiery red hairs for a bow string and prays her one arrow hits him. Just as she was about to shoot, drek'thar runs in yelling " don't hurt this cow!" apparently he join DHETA, dispite being a warrior. Rohnin says " your fired" and summons a unseen force to blow them away. All the dranei and elf bowed at his leet awesomeness, but he didn't care, he was missing a strand of hair.

The Orc ran after the swept away Drek'thar he had been a fan of his for ages and was not going to pass up a chance at an autograph.
Rhonin pulled out his survival kit and grabbed his comb, this was no ordinary comb... During the War of the Ancients Cenarius had molded this comb from wood.. a gift to Rhonin for sparing his life. It was the only thing strong enough to pass through the intense red heat emitted from Rhonin's hair. The group waited 3 hours as he brushed his locks.
In the Horizon a dwarf headed there way. " Got room for a dwarf in this rag tag party ye be havin'? " Rhonin asked the dwarf his name name but he already knew... he knows everything. " Ya can call me Tenderheart Friendlybrew " the group snickered exchanging /brofists and chestbumps.

" We must find out what Smite was after! " The Draenei chimed in " but first we need to locate that Orc Trilokvia O'rcann who has ran off after Drek'thar!

[Elementium]

"My Captain Crunch is gettin soggy and my patience running thin! "


Isn't it amazing how many people can write like Knaak?

[Phenomina]

********** Chapter 2 ************

Thrall sat back down into his chair, he was clearly tired from battle, it was the third time this week that a group of 25 - 40 random Alliance races had rushed into Ogrimmar with sights of claiming Thrall's head, this latest group Gnomeland Security they called themselves had been just as unsuccessful. Thrall had heard one of them mention being rewarded a bear for his head and couldn't help wonder what sort of sick person had put them up to that task. Either way there were more important things to worry about.

Thrall looked over his shoulder, with a sigh of relief he spotted Garrosh playing with his toy train set in the corner where he had left him before the battle occured. He had told his best friend that he would take care of his son no matter what the cost and Thrall intended to keep that promise.

" Acckkkk Arghhhh " Garrosh began flailing around as if some invisible force was choking the life out of him, Thrall whirling around expecting too see an Assassin of some kind working his sinister magic . Saurfang had rushed out due to the commotion and took one look at Garrosh and shook his head. With a heavy slap on the back Garrosh spit out something that had been lodged in his throat.

Thrall picked up the item... covered in spit and applesauce it was a cart from the toy train. " Sowwy Thrall, It looked so Yummy cause it wuz red " coughed out Garrosh. Just then Thrall had realized when Grom had not wanted to spend anytime with his son... he was clearly a r'tard. " Thrall! " Vol'jin charged in " Sylvanas is here she wishes a moment of your time she says it's of great importance "

Thrall looked at the helpless Garrosh and secretly hoped he would find a way to off himself while he was away in this meeting, he looked up to Saufang and nodded. Saurfang knew he was on babysitting duty. Thrall left his quarters to meet Sylvanas but what could she want!

[Deleted]

He met the former High Elf halfway down the path from Grommash Hold to the entrance to the darkened haven for outcasts that had been named the Drag. Despite being undead Sylvanas still retained her curvaceous figure. That was where her likeness with her living form ended though. The eyes that had once been blue like summer skies were now silver, her once gloriously golden hair blackened, with streaks of silver. Her complexion changed too, from a peach color to the steely gray of a winter sky.

"Banshee Queen," muttered Thrall through clenched teeth, obviously disgusted by his "ally". "Warchief," she said with equal hatred. "What do you want from us?" asked the shaman. "My magi have sensed a dark force brooding somewhere. We believe it to be a mysterious, malign entity bent on destroying both the Horde and Alliance," retorted the Dark Lady, her eyes narrowing.

"Aye, the shaman of Orgrimmar have sensed it too." It was true, even Thrall himself could feel the shadow of darness enveloping the lands under his rule. They hadn't been able to pinpoint its exact location or even origin so far, yet they were still concentrating on this task.

"Is there noone who could possibly save us?" asked the Banshee Queen, tilting her head and letting a lock of silvery-black hair fall out of her dark hood.

A sound almost completely beyond the range of hearing made them both turn their heads towards the large bonfire that had been erected about twenty feet far from the entrance to Grommash Hold. There, a shimmering portal was opening. Through it stepped a familiar figure, her blond locks shining like the sun, with purple robes tightly hugging her figure. She was carrying a staff with a glowing tip that was casting a greenish tint on everything that was visible despite the bonfire's presence.

"Jaina..." Thrall said, surprise clearly evident on his face. "Why have you come?" "I too have sensed the disturbance, old friend," stated the stunningly beautiful mage. "I am not sure what exactly it is, but it seems to be centered around the Dark Portal." "The gateway..." muttered Thrall, shocked. Jaina nodded. "But who can save us in this darkest of hours?" cried out Thrall. "Let me go, Warchief. I shall assemble my most trusted guards and ascend the dark path of the Portal." Thrall shot Sylvanas with a look, instantly silencing her. "No, Dark Lady. This is beyond the scope of powers of any of us. We need someone more powerful, preferably ruggedly handsome. I just cannot think of anyone..."

[gunner_recall]

SPIN OFF!!!
The Rhonin Diaries: The Raptor Fragments

Screech rawr GRAWR growl gurrrrr SRASSH!

This continues for 569 more pages.

[Phenomina]

SPIN OFF!!!
The Rhonin Diaries: The Raptor Fragments

Screech rawr GRAWR growl gurrrrr SRASSH!

This continues for 569 more pages.

Everyone knows Raptors only * snicker * and /brofist

[Sym]

We need someone more powerful, preferably ruggedly handsome. I just cannot think of anyone..."

You called?

[gunner_recall]

Everyone knows Raptors only * snicker * and /brofist

Different raptors. But that would be the blacksploitation version of it.

[Phenomina]

You called?

Please no home photo's 8)

[Izhara]

Everyone knows Raptors only * snicker * and /brofist

> No. Don't taint the /brofist with the raptor foulness.

[Phenomina]

> No. Don't taint the /brofist with the raptor foulness.

RrrrrRrrring

" Hello? You want to talk to whom? Izhara? "

It's Gloria Allred calling she wants to speak to you about Raptor rights and /brofisting

EDIT: Don't get me off-track of story meditating :P

[Deleted]

Everyone knows Raptors only * snicker * and /brofist

"Raaar kreaaak aaaark, kreaaak mrawgh!" exclaimed Traak-kaw, shaking his red head. The younger Razormaw snickered. He hadn't thought about that before, and the idea sounded intriguing to him. "Graaaaw waaaak kroow?" he asked the elder. "Raaaaugh Waaaara raaaak," said the patriarch, smiling a toothy smile. He held out his right arm with the hand balled into a fist, and the youngster hit it with his own. "Braaaaw pwaaaaah!"

[gunner_recall]

"Raaar kreaaak aaaark, kreaaak mrawgh!" exclaimed Traak-kaw, shaking his red head. The younger Razormaw snickered. He hadn't thought about that before, and the idea sounded intriguing to him. "Graaaaw waaaak kroow?" he asked the elder. "Raaaaugh Waaaara raaaak," said the patriarch, smiling a toothy smile. He held out his right arm with the hand balled into a fist, and the youngster hit it with his own. "Braaaaw pwaaaaah!"

Better than my own. I shall now throw myself onto my sword...but I don't have one so Taco Bueno

[Izhara]

RrrrrRrrring

" Hello? You want to talk to whom? Izhara? "

It's Gloria Allred calling she wants to speak to you about Raptor rights and /brofisting

EDIT: Don't get me off-track of story meditating :P

That's cool. I'll gnomify and wipe her out with a goblin rocket launcher :3

[Phenomina]

"Raaar kreaaak aaaark, kreaaak mrawgh!" exclaimed Traak-kaw, shaking his red head. The younger Razormaw snickered. He hadn't thought about that before, and the idea sounded intriguing to him. "Graaaaw waaaak kroow?" he asked the elder. "Raaaaugh Waaaara raaaak," said the patriarch, smiling a toothy smile. He held out his right arm with the hand balled into a fist, and the youngster hit it with his own. "Braaaaw pwaaaaah!"

LOL Excellllllent... 8)

I hate when I burst out laughing and get all teary eyed :P

[Deleted]

Better than my own. I shall now throw myself onto my sword...but I don't have one so Taco Bueno

LOL Excellllllent... 8)

I hate when I burst out laughing and get all teary eyed :P

Do my humorous spoofs always cause (or almost cause) some sort of bodily harm? :-\

[Izhara]

Do my humorous spoofs always cause (or almost cause) some sort of bodily harm? :-\

Only to the unworthy.

[sscavenger]

Only to the unworthy.

HA HA! Bodily injury. So epic, I want to contribute in my own way, but I don't know if I'm allowed. Plus I have class soon so that will further delay me... CURSE YOU HIGHER EDUCATION!