Stephen Fry criticised for telling self-pitying abuse victims to 'grow up'

[Kathandira]

Bleh. Kill it with fire. Nuke it from orbit.

She is quite pretty. Shame really.

[Super Friendly Kitty Cat]

She is quite pretty. Shame really.

She? That's a dude bro. Sorry to break it to you.

[Kathandira]

You know, if we stayed away from everything that might do us harm, we would be a very sad species.

After all, look at the damage Fire can do, but without our ancestors learning to utilize it, we would never have developed to the civilization we have today.

Reading something that "hits too close to home" can be very good for you. You can learn to cope with your issues when you learn more about it. It may seem harmful at first glace, but you have to give a chance before condemning it.

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She? That's a dude bro. Sorry to break it to you.

still hott. And you may still look at her as a man, but I am on the side of Transgender folks. If she says she is a woman, then that is what she is to me.

[Deleted]

Hmm... Forum ignore function then?

That's kind of the point

Let's say Xekus is triggered by Protar saying anything (just an example)

Then it's not on Protar to never speak again -- it's on Xekus to exercise adult judgement and put Protar on forum ignore (or maybe on Xekus to just not be on a forum that triggers him)

This is what responsible adults do, especially ones that have children

Asking Protar to never speak again for the convenience of 1 person (even Xekus) is selfish, unfair and narcissistic, and infringes on Protar

[Berengil]

That person has a serious mental disability and needs supervision, and shouldn't be allowed to watch television freely

It's not selfish to say that the world should function normally for the 99%

It is selfish to insist it should bend over backwards for you - the 1%

If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one; if you have a mental disability, that's fine, society will take care of you, but you don't get to decide how society works for everyone else

I couldn't possibly agree more.

So, that very attractive person in the picture of your OP is actually a man? Dmn.... that's a well done job. Would have fooled me without question.

[Kathandira]

That's kind of the point

Let's say Xekus is triggered by Protar saying anything (just an example)

Then it's not on Protar to never speak again -- it's on Xekus to exercise adult judgement and put Protar on forum ignore (or maybe on Xekus to just not be on a forum that triggers him)

This is what responsible adults do, especially ones that have children

Asking Protar to never speak again for the convenience of 1 person (even Xekus) is selfish, unfair and narcissistic, and infringes on Protar

Well said. If you don't like something, then stay away from it. Simple as that.

[enragedgorilla]

I agree with him in the message, but the way he examplify it is stupid.
You cannot simply tell an abused child to "grow up".

I would figure he is talking about the 20,30,40 ...etc year old's using this as their "opening line" in a conversation...not an actual child.
"Hi I am Billy, and I was sexually abused as a child, I am 42 now and living in the suburbs of New York." ..."That is great Billy but this is my kids birthday party bbq. and we have worked together at the same law firm for 15 years."
You know the people(adults), you know them as the ,"oh they were sexually abused as a kid AND they will remind you of it EVERY chance they get."
Wanting to be "different or special" is fine, but I am not sure using a disease or criminal act of abuse to make yourself "stand out in a crowd" is wise or useful.

I agree with what he is saying, I know he has had more than his fair share of abuse in life,work etc. being a gay man.

[medievalman1]

That's kind of the point

Let's say Xekus is triggered by Protar saying anything (just an example)

Then it's not on Protar to never speak again -- it's on Xekus to exercise adult judgement and put Protar on forum ignore (or maybe on Xekus to just not be on a forum that triggers him)

This is what responsible adults do, especially ones that have children

Asking Protar to never speak again for the convenience of 1 person (even Xekus) is selfish, unfair and narcissistic, and infringes on Protar

I think this is the point the Fry is trying to make. People that are affected (I refuse to use the term triggered-using it triggers me) can censor whatever they want for their own well-being. Having organizations (of any kind) do the censoring is infringing upon the basic rights of free speech-and that's a slippery slope society shouldn't go down. Just look at this thread, look at all the examples of what people claim adversely affect others. Could you imagine a society where EVERYTHING that negatively affects another person's psychological well-being is censored?

[Granyala]

Asking Protar to never speak again for the convenience of 1 person (even Xekus) is selfish, unfair and narcissistic, and infringes on Protar

To be fair: Xekus has to know that Protar is in this forum in the first place.
Preferably before encountering his posts and being triggered.

That's what the warnings are for.

She? That's a dude bro. Sorry to break it to you.

Never would have guessed.

While not really what floats my boat, esp due to the arrogant pose, I wouldn't consider her .. ermmm him? ... IT ugly. :<

[Northy]

Fry is correct. Nothing to see here. Pussy millennials need to grow up.

[Deleted]

To be fair: Xekus has to know that Protar is in this forum in the first place.
Preferably before encountering his posts and being triggered.

That's what the warnings are for.

That's kind of the thing also:

Once you know you're the kind of person who can be triggered by forum avatars/posts - it's on you to just stay away from forums forever

Forums don't have to stop existing just because you can't handle them

[Deleted]

Anyway, I misread at first before my post. I thought he was including kids too in his speech. My bad.
But still, the fault in the issue can be shared.
Said adult can still play the victim role, without letting himself mature and grow up, but the society around is the one that allows him to keep that behavior in many ways such (safe spaces, censorship of certain issues, etc..)
I don't know. I mean, if instead of listening to their pleases, would be better the help them psicologicaly.

I'm a person who has a lot of psychological issues as a result of shitty things in my life. It holds me back immensly. I even avoid doing certain things and going places because of it. To a psychologist, this is something that needs to be changed. Avoiding these things make it worse, and cement the wrong things in my mind.
I challenge myself to the best of my abilities, because I have to.
My point in saying that, is that i understand the deep complexities of mental health issues and how important it is to not oversimplify such issues, but I still oppose the SJW-kind of censorship and safe spacing. As you point out, it just makes things worse when people aren't taught to handle things. Some sheltering is ok. Too much is bad.

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That's kind of the thing also:

Once you know you're the kind of person who can be triggered by forum avatars/posts - it's on you to just stay away from forums forever

Forums don't have to stop existing just because you can't handle them

But at the same time, forums shouldnt go seek such a person out if they want to stay away from them. If you get my meaning.

[Granyala]

Forums don't have to stop existing just because you can't handle them

Sure, but what if your trigger is much more specific?
What if only posts about pedophilia trigger you?
Gaming forums should still be safe. Tech forums also. Cooking forums...

Only the off topic areas might be dangerous to you.

It's easy to avoid forums. But movies for example are much more difficult. Esp if you still want to watch them and 90% of them are safe for you.
How do you identify the 10% before it's to late?

[Skalm]

I agree with him in the message, but the way he examplify it is stupid.
You cannot simply tell an abused child to "grow up".

Pretty sure he is referring to an adult that was abused as a child. And saying they need to grow up and deal with the real world and get out of their fantasy land of 'safe spaces' where no one will say anything to offend you.

[meian]

That comment pool is fucking cringe worthy.

I don't think I have ever seen an online comment pool that wasn't.

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While not really what floats my boat, esp due to the arrogant pose, I wouldn't consider her .. ermmm him? ... IT ugly. :<

Her. It's not that hard.

She? That's a dude bro. Sorry to break it to you.

Her. It's not that hard.

[Granyala]

Her. It's not that hard.

He has a Y chromosome.
"her" only applies to XX.

I don't care about no political correct BS. A man is a man, whether he cosplays as a girl or not.

[Deleted]

Fry is absolutely right. I'm not saying there aren't people out there, who haven't gone through trauma, and who aren't suffering from some variant of PTSD, but a part of growing up would be to manage that trauma properly with proper help from the right people, and possibly in extreme cases with medication. Having "trigger warnings" placed on shit is not a solution to anything.

Life is shit. It's just varying degrees of shit. It doesn't need a "trigger warning" sticker.

[breadisfunny]

To be fair: Xekus has to know that Protar is in this forum in the first place.
Preferably before encountering his posts and being triggered.

That's what the warnings are for.

Never would have guessed.

While not really what floats my boat, esp due to the arrogant pose, I wouldn't consider her .. ermmm him? ... IT ugly. :<

i would consider a draenei to be ugly. especially that ugly one at the bottom there.

[Granyala]

i would consider a draenei to be ugly. especially that ugly one at the bottom there.

That' not a Draenei.
That's a Miqo'te from Final Fantasy XIV.

[breadisfunny]

What if only post about pedophilia trigger you?

i refuse to acknowledge them as people. i see them more as trash to be taken out.

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That' not a Draenei.
That's a Miqo'te from Final Fantasy XIV.

if it looks like a duck talks like one and quacks like one....