Why do people need to "warm up" around strangers?

[meheez]

I meet alot of people who arent comfortable around new people (me) , and they even get hostile when you try to initiate contact with them. Or ignore you.

But after some time, they kinda wanna talk eventually.

It seems like they want to see what im really like, which i find funny, because the only way you can get a feel of someone is by actually communicating, and not doing stupid initiation rituals.

Actually, another question would be, why do people need some strange initiation rituals to start to communicate with someone?

[BuckSparkles]

I meet alot of people who arent comfortable around new people (me) , and they even get hostile when you try to initiate contact with them. Or ignore you.

But after some time, they kinda wanna talk eventually.

It seems like they want to see what im really like, which i find funny, because the only way you can get a feel of someone is by actually communicating, and not doing stupid initiation rituals.

Actually, another question would be, why do people need some strange initiation rituals to start to communicate with someone?

People are naturally less comfortable around people they do not know. It's the mystery of the unknown among other things.

I personally am cautious and very quiet around new people. I have to learn what type of people they are and what they find acceptable and unacceptable and work from there.

[Deleted]

Well I for one just dont wanna interact with people I dont know IRL. If they start talking to me for whatever reason, I try to appear cold and not interested so theyd leave me alone. But if theyre not going anywhere and seem otherwise decent or maybe bring up a topic I actually care about, then might as well.

[Wildtree]

It's called human nature, and instinctual behavior.
Else, what det said.

[Guyv3r]

I usually start pushing buttons to see how they react. But i'm usually not unconfortable around new people.

[Mr. Smith]

For me, it's fear. I'm scared of saying something that will offend people. Any time I'm put into a new environment, it takes me about a month of me silently listening to people and adjusting to the atmosphere before I'll feel comfortable saying anything..

[Heladys]

I don't like strangers. I barely like the people I already know.

[Independent voter]

The first question you ask yourself when meeting someone new is: is he going to jump on me and bite off my ear?

[smokii]

it's a confidence thing

not everybody has lots of confidence and it can take a while to "warm up to new people" if you are lacking in confidence.

[Queen of Hamsters]

Fairly sure not only humans are naturally cautious around new individuals they don't know.

[Deleted]

Maybe they're hoping if they ignore you, you'll leave. And when this tactic fails they resign themselves to their fate and just start talking to you because, hey, what else can they do?

[Arcanimus]

I don't like strangers. I barely like the people I already know.

This.
I already know too many people, its a waste of brainpower.

[Amunrasonther]

For me it's a combination of shyness and politeness. I'm normally quiet and reserved and will keep to myself but if a bubbly nice person wants my attention it activates my bubbly and welcoming personality.

[Deleted]

it's a confidence thing

not everybody has lots of confidence and it can take a while to "warm up to new people" if you are lacking in confidence.

No its not. Well not always anyway. It can be a number of things. Like say youre in a bus, going home, thinking your own thoughts, like say what to have for dinner or just trying to solve a problem in your head. Then someone sits next to you and starts talking. Maybe he or she is just being polite? You mutter something, and go back to your thoughts. Nope, guess not, theyre still talking.. and since theyre not gonna stop obviously, might as well say something in return.

Often its about just not wanting to interact with a random chatty stranger. It has nothing to do with confidence.

[Mad_Murdock]

Actually, another question would be, why do people need some strange initiation rituals to start to communicate with someone?

I agree, I should be able to walk up to a total stranger, they should invite me into their house, Be willing to co-sign on my Car and home loans and offer out their young daughters to me, because I'm a awesome person. Why do people need to get to know anyone? We're all awesome people that are complete joys to be around.

It's not like we are all different people and we all have different personalities or anything. There is no such thing as introverts and extroverts, we're all exactly the same!

[Sylreick]

I generally try not to deal with any unnecessary stress/drama, and new people means that chances for stress/drama are likely to be high. If they prove to not bring that crap to the table up front, then they might be worth getting to know.

I also don't care much for small talk. I try only talk to people if I need something, or if they need something from me. I'd rather ignore the other crap.

[Narwal]

Think about a person you dislike, what about them do you not like? Do you talk to them often? What do you talk to them about? What is your demeanor towards them?

Now think about a person you like, what about them do you like? Do you talk to them often? What do you talk to them about?

Now ask yourself, why do you talk/act differently to someone you don't know? It's probably because you don't know if you like them or not. How you feel about a person directly changes how you interact with them. In some people, we're cautious to figure out who they are before we begin interacting, so that we know what kind of interaction we want to have.

[meheez]

I agree, I should be able to walk up to a total stranger, they should invite me into their house, Be willing to co-sign on my Car and home loans and offer out their young daughters to me, because I'm a awesome person. why do people need to get to know anyone? We're all awesome people that are complete joys to be around.

Thats black and white. Im talking about diplomacy based communication.

[Dug]

Because its just a natural process of getting to know someone first before you get more personal. I'm not going to tell my life story, my beliefs and ideals to a stranger because I don't know how they would react. And also because I'm not a fan of small talk but that is what leads into a more personal relationship so its a fact of life I have to deal with.

[Reeve]

Meeting new people is just about my favorite thing. I mean if the person talking to me is a weirdo, or desperate, or wants something from me, I'll avoid them like anyone else, but if I'm at a grocery store and someone starts talking to me in line, I love that. Same if I'm sitting at a bar, or whatever.

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Because its just a natural process of getting to know someone first before you get more personal. I'm not going to tell my life story, my beliefs and ideals to a stranger because I don't know how they would react. And also because I'm not a fan of small talk but that is what leads into a more personal relationship so its a fact of life I have to deal with.

You see, I'm generally an open book with people I meet right away. I mean I don't start preaching at them unsolicited or anything, but I never have defenses up unless the person has given me reason to think they're sketchy. It drives me nuts that more people aren't more open.