What do you do exactly against a bully?

[Theinquisition]

I'm not gonna list specific age since I realized even into adulthood there will be a bully at work, just like in your high school years. But what are you supposed to do against them anyway? I used to think, no matter what someone tells you or the rules say, you should just beat the living shit out of them and scare them straight, but this can feed a vicious cycle that makes shit worse. But if you don't do that, it's not like tattling will help (that's just as bad) or anyone will care. In fact, it's sad just how little people care until the victim snaps and kills his tormentor or worse so I'm trying to figure out what these people could really do when all options are just seemingly hopeless.

Most of the time ignore them. If they touch me I beat the brakes off them.

[Deleted]

pay some people to scare him and let him know that you send them. if he doesn't cooperate, pay them to beat him up. afterall he has to proof that you send them and you only have to say that you dont know these men and everything is fine at work.

[Skillslam]

This troper took a few levels when, after years of being a Woobie so pitiful Shinji would say what the heck is wrong with you, I had enough of a girl I liked always going for this tall, blond guy. When they were talking right in front of me in the street and holding arms and talking and all that, I said, "Shut. The. Hell. Up." The boy looks around and walks over, trying to look menacing. Martial arts studies come in. I take a punch to the forehead and then slide under and punch him in the stomach, he goes backwards and I land another one to his face. I then go berserk and full body tackle him. He managed to crawl away, and say, "That kid...is inhuman!"

[Pony Soldier]

Grow a spine. Stand up for yourself if no one else will. Show them that you're not a door-mat to just be walked on. Maybe you'll get your ass beat maybe not, at least you stood your ground. Maybe this bully is more talk than walk and you beat their ass. You can also just ignore them. They crave for attention. They get off on showing how tough they are to the surrounding kids. I realize that ignoring doesn't always work but when it doesn't this is when growing a back bone comes into play. If the bully pushes you push the fucker back. Show them you're not going to take their bullshit.

If you're an adult, grow a fucking back bone. At this point in life there shouldn't even be a such a thing as a bully. You either just ignore the shithead or beat the fuck outta them. You're an adult act like it.

[the game]

Karma will catch up with them. I learned that recently. my highschool bully recently got the shit beat out of him on a street corner. Got a concussion and everything. He claimed he was innocent but I guarantee he was running his mouth to the wrong person.

[Fencers]

Stand your ground, set clear boundaries immediately. Works on playgrounds and in boardrooms.

[May90]

If you're an adult, grow a fucking back bone. At this point in life there shouldn't even be a such a thing as a bully. You either just ignore the shithead or beat the fuck outta them. You're an adult act like it.

"Beat the fuck outta them" really sounds like something an adult should act like.

[hrugner]

I found ignoring them wasn't helpful unless I also asked other people in the group or in authority if the bully was having problems with their health or family.

[Brightamethyst]

Sometimes there isn't anything to be done. Sometimes ignoring it, or getting physical, or even tattling just doesn't help, or isn't possible.

When I was just out of school I worked with a man who used a wheelchair. This other guy we worked with bullied him constantly, but not in direct, confrontational ways. He would use the handicap stall in the bathroom just to make the disabled guy wait, or turn the lights in the bathroom off while he was in there, or move things in the break room to high shelves where he couldn't reach, etc.

There was nothing anyone could do about it though. Obviously a physical confrontation was out of the question here, and while he was constantly complaining to HR about this guy -and the rest of us backed him up- no one did anything. The bully was, as far as I know, never even reprimanded, let alone fired. Eventually the disabled guy just quit rather than deal with that shit. It sucked, but there really wasn't anything else to be done.

[Nihilist74]

Depends on what kind of bully they are. There are some people that you know they are psycho and you could beat the hell out of them but they don't care. This type will get you back anyway they can. Some bullies just do it for fun to make themselves feel big. This type, you can beat the hell out of them and they will probably never bother you again. The psycho type you got to just avoid.

[King Shark]

Kill them; eat their heart, consume their flesh. Only then will you gain the power that you seek.

[Berengil]

I'm not gonna list specific age since I realized even into adulthood there will be a bully at work, just like in your high school years. But what are you supposed to do against them anyway? I used to think, no matter what someone tells you or the rules say, you should just beat the living shit out of them and scare them straight, but this can feed a vicious cycle that makes shit worse. But if you don't do that, it's not like tattling will help (that's just as bad) or anyone will care. In fact, it's sad just how little people care until the victim snaps and kills his tormentor or worse so I'm trying to figure out what these people could really do when all options are just seemingly hopeless.

Tattling works if you tattle to the right person and threaten legal action if you aren't left alone.

[jimboa24]

I'll tell you what I did to my bully.

I was in junior high...it was 7th grade. This guy, a little shit whose name I can't even remember anymore, kept making life hell. Not just for me, but a few other kids. He picked on anyone weaker or smaller than him. He even liked to pick on girls two years younger. And I took it. I took it for a long time. I was always shy, pretty meek. I wasn't incapable of protecting myself, I was just too shy to and I was always afraid of getting in trouble for throwing a punch.

Then one day, we were waiting in line to get into the computer lab (this was in '97 or '98, before computers were everywhere, so there was a room with about 30 computers specifically for whole classes), and the teacher wasn't there yet. The little shit starts hassling me, and then he kicks my shin, and I don't know what made this time any different, but I had enough. I dropped my books and I punched the fucker in the face.

It wasn't some Hollywood moment, I didn't knock him out cold or anything, in fact he was more surprised that someone actually fought back (especially someone who never fought back before), and there were gasps from the other kids in line and everyone got quiet. He staggered back a few feet, recovered and was all like, "oh, you want to go, then let's go!" and he comes back at me. And yeah, I was scared, I didn't want to fight, but I didn't run. I held him off for a few minutes by kicking him, making him back off. Finally the teacher shows up and we both got sent to the principal's office.

He got suspended, I didn't. Like I said, this little shit was a known asshole, made life rough for a lot of kids. In fact, the vice principal even told me, "next time, hit him harder."

I never had any real problems with the kid after that. He was still an asshole, he still picked on other kids till he finally got expelled, but aside from talking shit to me he never got physical again. I'm not going to sit here and say that violence is the ultimate solution to bullying or anything, but for me, finally standing up for myself is what made the bullies finally back off (not just the little shit, but other bullies too; pretty much the whole school heard that someone finally decked the little shit in the face, so the other bullies left me alone too, at least physically). It's what I'm going to tell my kid when he gets picked on. And yeah, I know that it doesn't help in every case, and there are always exceptions to things, or kids who are completely psychotic who will never back off no matter what.

But yeah, I'm in the camp that believes that you gotta eventually make a stand and let bullies know that you won't put up with their shit. Most of them will back off and move on.

[Dellis0991]

I'm a pugilist.

- - - Updated - - -

pay some people to scare him and let him know that you send them. if he doesn't cooperate, pay them to beat him up. afterall he has to proof that you send them and you only have to say that you dont know these men and everything is fine at work.

- - - Updated - - -

Stand your ground, set clear boundaries immediately. Works on playgrounds and in boardrooms.

^ True sometimes folks won't back down till you stand for yours, they just want to see what you all about.

[Piglord]

1. Take a bite out of their cheek.
2. Become super successful, buy their house when it forecloses. Turn the lot into a titty club.
3. Start stalking them, but be obvious about it. Every time they see you start barking like a dog.
4. Become a voodoo priest/ess and fuck with them using dark magic.
5. Become a ghost and haunt them for all eternity.

[Christonya]

Not care. Seriously, having a thick skin is important to the real world, entering it with a thick skin will let you go far. For the people who are dishing it out? They'll enter the world thinking they can push people around and oh boy are they wrong.

[Spiffums]

You stand up to the bully and make him leave you alone......Doesn't anyone remember the movies from the 1980s? Karate Kid is one that springs to mind. Usually this invovles fighting because "talking it out and making the bully see your side" doesn't work because well the other side is a bully.

[rayden54]

In my experience nothing works. Doing nothing doesn't work. Asking for help doesn't work. Standing up for yourself doesn't work (and gets you in trouble to boot). In my case, the only thing that helped is I graduated high school and thus don't see them anymore.

So, to translate that to a work environment, I guess my answer is first, tell your boss. If they don't do anything (and they probably won't), quit. Either that or suffer for the rest of your life.

[Deleted]

The only way to fight a bully is to ignore the bully, as I understand. What they crave is attention, and if you don't give it to them, then they move on to someone else.

Well even the worst dramas in tv realize this is the worst thing you can do. I study social science (master) and can tell you: They teach psychological aids in schoold etc how to "rumble". Meaning you have physical training with a victim, to encourage him to get more aggressive. The ignore thing is something some hermit once spit out to write some children-stories.

[Gandrake]

Get in their face and tell them through gritted teeth that if you wanted any shit out of them you'd stick your arm up their ass.