Would you date/pursue a relationship with someone who...

[THE Bigzoman]

I've dated a stripper and I've met her friends, they are all fucking crazy.

^^Can confirm. Younger sister is besties with some strippers.

There's a reason people say "That's someone's daughter up there".

[icausewipes]

Kind of curious to see what others views on this would be

Question is, would you date a person who works in the adult sex/film industry, it could be as a pornstar, camgirl, escort, stripper.

2nd part of the question is, if you didn't know until far into the relationship would you continue seeing them once finding out (assuming you're already in love as well).

3rd Part is, with pornstars and escorts they're paid to have sex would you be ok with knowing your partner is/was doing that?

1st part - Yes

2nd part - If you can't tell by her prolapse rectum then her award winning head game should set off red flags.

3rd part - You are paying for it in some shape or form anyway.

[Deletedaccount1]

Sure, it's their job, I don't judge people based on their job.

Really? You wouldn't prefer to be in a relationship with a Fortune 500 CEO than a middle school janitor? You would be willing to date someone who makes their living selling their appearance or at worst, their bodies themselves, for money?

If you can't judge someone based off their job then I don't know what you can judge people on.

Also judging someone as worthy to be in a relationship with is different than judging someone at face value.

[LilSaihah]

If you can't judge someone based off their job then I don't know what you can judge people on.

personality

or maybe their prior convictions

[Coffeexbean]

of course not I want a woman with integrity and class

[Fencers]

1. I don't have a particular objection. Would have some questions though.
2. Depends on how they reveal this information and why it was withheld for so long when things were so serious. Pretty odd thing to come up when already 'in love'.
3. Depends on a lot of factors.

These questions are sorta not connected.

One could be in a relationship with someone and be okay with that relationship being open to having sex outside the relationship. One could be accepting of the other person's profession but feel withholding that kind of information is a trust issue, etc, etc.

[Celista]

I'm not sure if it's the work that messes up sex workers or their life circumstances that led them to consider sex work, but most sex workers seem pretty messed up/engage in a lot of questionable decision making.

I don't mind saving the broken but you can't really save them unless they want to save themselves and addiction issues/STDs are two things I simply don't want to worry about.

[bowchikabow]

I find it interesting how often men say no on the basis of "having standards", or complaining about "lack of class" and such. Y'all are ok with touching yourself to them doing it on the camera, but don't think well of them as a person otherwise. Not suggesting that you either have to stop watching it, or suddenly be on board with dating one.. I just find that part interesting.

To answer the questions..

No, I would not. Regardless of whether or not it's "just a job", or whatever.. At the end of the day, her job involves hours of either active sex, pretense of sex, or there abouts inbetween. I feel that intimacy in a relationship is important, and worry that the last thing she wants when she gets home is a male counterpart who is hoping to enjoy his lady that night. Not to mention, and I can be honest about this.. I would, inevitably, feel an amount of jealousy/animosity towards the "partners" in the films. As for escort? Same, for the same principle. While they may not be enduring the same level/volume of sex as their adult film counterparts, the same basic problem remains. Wouldn't feel right to put her in that position, nor would I want to actively put myself in that position.

If I found out later? I would leave. To me, nothing is worse than being dishonest. At that point, it's less about the job itself (though the job would weigh on things) its more the fact that one of two things. 1: she didn't feel she could tell me, so she thought lying would be better.. or 2: she had no intention of telling me, and I have to find out in some less than amusing fashion. Now, if it is a matter of them having done it at some point in the past, and not while in the relationship.. that would be different. I honestly am not sure how I would handle that. As I said, I find honesty to be a most important trait.. But that doesn't grant me rights to judge her on past choices.

And for the 3rd. No, for all the reasons I listed above.

I have known two adult stars in my lifetime, and they have been great people, personality wise. Indeed, people are quick to mis-characterize the kind of people they are. That being said, I know how the industry affects relationships.. and how the relationships can affect the people in the industry. I just couldn't bring myself to do that. And truth be told, most of the women (I have met through them) actually feel the same way. Many of them invariably make a choice, between doing film, or having a family. Nothin wrong with that.

[THE Bigzoman]

I'm not sure if it's the work that messes up sex workers or their life circumstances that led them to consider sex work, but most sex workers seem pretty messed up/engage in a lot of questionable decision making.

I don't mind saving the broken but you can't really save them unless they want to save themselves and addiction issues/STDs are two things I simply don't want to worry about.

It's quite simple if you think about it.

If the highest value you produce for society is based on appearance, something that is based purely on biology to a degree, that to me implies the possibility that you have to resort to that because of poor life choices.


You lack anything else or failed to cultivate anything else of worth so you have no choice but to enter professions based mostly on appearance--something you innately have.

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I find it interesting how often men say no on the basis of "having standards", or complaining about "lack of class" and such. Y'all are ok with touching yourself to them doing it on the camera, but don't think well of them as a person otherwise. Not suggesting that you either have to stop watching it, or suddenly be on board with dating one.. I just find that part interesting.

The criteria for who I would have sex with or masterbate to is different from the criteria for who I would want to share my life with.


Not too complicated.

[Stelio Kontos]

No, I'd have a hard time respecting someone who has so little to offer the world that they just sell their bodies.

[PizzaSHARK]

Kind of curious to see what others views on this would be

Question is, would you date a person who works in the adult sex/film industry, it could be as a pornstar, camgirl, escort, stripper.

2nd part of the question is, if you didn't know until far into the relationship would you continue seeing them once finding out (assuming you're already in love as well).

3rd Part is, with pornstars and escorts they're paid to have sex would you be ok with knowing your partner is/was doing that?

Possibly. I would probably not continue dating them if they didn't reveal it until after we'd been together a while - that'd be a breach of trust, IMO. Third part would probably be fine - if I'm dating them and know what their line of work is, I wouldn't let it get to the point of being a relationship if I wasn't already okay with what they do for a living.

Note that I don't really think camgirls and strippers are on the same level as escorts and pornstars. Even stripping is much less personal than escorting or literally fucking other people for a living.

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No, I'd have a hard time respecting someone who has so little to offer the world that they just sell their bodies.

How is that having "so little to offer to the world"? If you're born with beauty and attractiveness, how is selling that beauty and attractiveness any different from a professional sports player selling their strength and agility or a dock worker selling their strength and stamina?

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It's quite simple if you think about it.

If the highest value you produce for society is based on appearance, something that is based purely on biology to a degree, that to me implies the possibility that you have to resort to that because of poor life choices.


You lack anything else or failed to cultivate anything else of worth so you have no choice but to enter professions based mostly on appearance--something you innately have.

In what way is this different from someone becoming a professional football player? You're born with a gift, you practice it, and eventually become good enough at it that you can sell it and make a living from it.

I don't see sex work as anything different. There's a difference between a strung out junkie spreading her legs to get her next fix and a high-class call girl or highly-paid stripper (at which point they're basically just a different version of "performance artist.")

The criteria for who I would have sex with or masterbate to is different from the criteria for who I would want to share my life with.


Not too complicated.

Pretty much. I don't even view the people on screen in porn as actual people, they're just... objects, I guess.

[THE Bigzoman]

Possibly. I would probably not continue dating them if they didn't reveal it until after we'd been together a while - that'd be a breach of trust, IMO. Third part would probably be fine - if I'm dating them and know what their line of work is, I wouldn't let it get to the point of being a relationship if I wasn't already okay with what they do for a living.

Note that I don't really think camgirls and strippers are on the same level as escorts and pornstars. Even stripping is much less personal than escorting or literally fucking other people for a living.

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How is that having "so little to offer to the world"? If you're born with beauty and attractiveness, how is selling that beauty and attractiveness any different from a professional sports player selling their strength and agility or a dock worker selling their strength and stamina?

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In what way is this different from someone becoming a professional football player? You're born with a gift, you practice it, and eventually become good enough at it that you can sell it and make a living from it.

I don't see sex work as anything different. There's a difference between a strung out junkie spreading her legs to get her next fix and a high-class call girl or highly-paid stripper (at which point they're basically just a different version of "performance artist.")




Pretty much. I don't even view the people on screen in porn as actual people, they're just... objects, I guess.

Professional Athletes have talent. Raw physical abilities isn't enough to make it in professional sports. It may get you by in High School. Hell, it might get you through in college. But it won't get you by in the NFL.

If physical abilities alone made you successful in the NFL then Margus Hunt or Russell Bodine wouldn't suck ass for the Bengals, or pretty much anyone who was drafted moreso because of what they COULD be based soley on physical strength.

[PizzaSHARK]

Professional Athletes have talent. Raw physical abilities isn't enough to make it in professional sports. It may get you by in High School. Hell, it might get you through in college. But it won't get you by in the NFL.

If physical abilities alone made you successful in the NFL then Margus Hunt or Russell Bodine wouldn't suck ass for the Bengals, or pretty much anyone who was drafted moreso because of what they COULD be based soley on physical strength.

Implying that being a highly paid escort or exotic dancer (at this point, it's kind of rude to call them a stripper) doesn't require skill and talent? Being a two-bit whore or stripper in a $5 cover joint is the equivalent of being good at high school football - anyone with the raw physical assets can do it. It takes more than just raw physical assets to make it in the big time, whether it's a sport or something else.

I mean, being an exotic dancer or high-class escort is more than "look good and have sex."

[Stelio Kontos]

I don't see any similarity between an athlete who perfects his craft through hours of training and practice and someone who just spreads their legs for cash. Now, I can see the athleticism in some forms of exotic dancing, sure. I guess I should qualify my statements. I don't think a prostitute or camera prostitute really has anything to offer. I'm borderline on my view of strippers. They can definitely be fun and exciting because they tend to be crazy. I might date a stripper, but I'd never marry anyone involved in the sex industry.

[Dr Assbandit]

As someone who already did try dating someone who was a well known porn star in the gay community and asked the same question on these forums, no I don't think I would unless it was far far in their past. If they were actively doing it or it was fairly recent, I most probably would pursue other people instead.

This guy had so much baggage that I was pretty much forced to become a friend rather than a partner to help him sort out his psychological stuff. Thankfully he's doing well and has distanced himself from the porn industry, but the shadow of it will most probably linger with him for a long while yet.

[Atrea]

How would a relationship reach the point of being in love with a person happen, without knowing the most basic thing about a person such as what they do for a living?

Like, it sounds like this question is coming from a person who has never been in a real relationship in their life.

[McFuu]

^^Can confirm. Younger sister is besties with some strippers.

There's a reason people say "That's someone's daughter up there".

Although I will say that strippers, at least the ones I've met while dating one; they are fiercely independent. Clearly being a stripper isn't the easiest path to choose, they make good money, and don't really need to be " helped" add much as other woman.

[Nefarious Tea]

I did a few years ago. She was fun (outside the bedroom, I should specify) but she was also very intelligent and kind of a bitch to people she thought she was superior to.

[schwank05]

The thought of being with a chick that has been with someone else sickens me, so No to the whole porn star thing. I don't want someone else's used goods. Cam Girl or Stripper as long as they haven't been with someone else I would be cool with. The thought of being in a chick that someone else has already been in is just plain gross. I don't want to be anyone's Eskimo Brother ever!

[Shadowferal]

Hmf..been there and done that...not going to ever happen again.
I have trust issues.
And some chick whose job is essentially to get a guy's mojo on...and seal the deal sometimes...

Nah...never again. She liked the money more than any guy...