I'm feeling down today, and just feel like venting

[Independent voter]

Happiness is relative. I thought I would be very happy when I achieved all my goals. I've achieved most of my goals but a month or two after the success my happiness level returned to what it's always been, "moderately happy".

I'm very lucky to have my gf, she makes me happy and also a lot of other emotions.

[PhantasmagoriaX]

So i have battled with anxiety,depression and ptsd for a really long time now (10 years) I gotta say the thing that helped me the most was the gym and really good music. Back when my issues were really bad I would just end up running for hours on end listening to music really loud and it helped so much. I tried pills too, but nothing helped like the gym and the dr's put me on so many anti depressants/anxiety/psychotics it was horrible.

Ended up loosing a bunch of weight too .. 300 lbs overall

[Shadowferal]

You work in politics, but don't care about politics...yet you say "I'm working at a job I don't completely despise, something that could turn into a life-long career."
That in itself seems wrong to me.

Careers are about jobs you love to do. That's why they say that if you have a career you never work a day because you're doing something you love...

[Tijuana]

Well, the past week has been pretty pretty rough (wallet was stolen, then in a car accident; nobody injured though), but overall, my life is generally in a good spot. For the first time in my life, I'm working at a job I don't completely despise, something that could turn into a life-long career.

Yet, I'm finding myself getting more and more depressed.

I work in politics, but I don't truly *care* about politics. Because of that, there's really kind of a ceiling to how much I can really grow, unless I really commit my every waking moment to paying attention to politics. I can't say there's really much of anything that I'm passionate about, but politics I care for even less than most things.

I feel like I really can't connect with people. I mean, I have a lot of people that I considered to be friends, but it seems that nobody really considers me to be *their* friend. Something I've found to be more and more true and I grow older, is it seems people only want to be friends with others they deem "cooler" than themselves. More successful, more attractive, whatever.

It feels like, no matter how hard I work, or how positive I try to be, nothing just ever seems to work out. I feel like I'm "broken" somehow; like everyone else just intrinsically knows "how to live life", but for some reason, I just don't. I mean, shit; I'm 28 never kissed a girl/woman, never held hands. Hell, the only "date" I've ever been on was a few years ago, with some chick I met on tinder, and it was *painfully* awkward.

Meanwhile, my best friend makes life seem completely effortless. He's just instantly "good" at anything he does, he literally has women flirt with him anywhere he goes, despite being married, he actually *enjoys* being physically active, and whether it's younger fresh-out-of-college friends, or older, well-known politicians, everyone goes out of their way to include him and his wife.

Me, on the other hand, I've been trying to get together people for a Super Bowl party, and I've not even gotten one fucking response from any of the people I've texted or messaged.

I just... I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know that I'm whining right now, but I genuinely try to stay positive and upbeat, even when I'm having a rough day. People *seem* to enjoy being around me when they are, I've even been described as a "people person", but I just don't know how to make that deeper connection with people.

I feel lonely, and more and more, I feel like I'm just becoming a zombie. I can't seem to get "excited" about anything, I can't even summon the enthusiasm to get out of bed, and it just feels like I'm "going through motions". Literally just a few days ago, I got home from work at 6:30 and I went up to bed. I just laid there for hours; I thought about checking the time, but I couldn't even bring myself to look at my phone next to me, thinking "What's the point? The light will just make it take longer to fall asleep".

I can't help but think that maybe there's just something wrong with me. Maybe everyone else has some chemical in their brain that I don't, or maybe I have some sort of mental disability that everyone else is aware of but I just don't see. It just sucks to feel unwanted, in every way, by pretty much everyone.

I dunno. I'm just venting at this point. Take it for what you will.

Look at the bright side, there are total douche bags out there, like me, who are not you.

[THE Bigzoman]

Well, the past week has been pretty pretty rough (wallet was stolen, then in a car accident; nobody injured though), but overall, my life is generally in a good spot. For the first time in my life, I'm working at a job I don't completely despise, something that could turn into a life-long career.

Yet, I'm finding myself getting more and more depressed.

I work in politics, but I don't truly *care* about politics. Because of that, there's really kind of a ceiling to how much I can really grow, unless I really commit my every waking moment to paying attention to politics. I can't say there's really much of anything that I'm passionate about, but politics I care for even less than most things.

I feel like I really can't connect with people. I mean, I have a lot of people that I considered to be friends, but it seems that nobody really considers me to be *their* friend. Something I've found to be more and more true and I grow older, is it seems people only want to be friends with others they deem "cooler" than themselves. More successful, more attractive, whatever.

It feels like, no matter how hard I work, or how positive I try to be, nothing just ever seems to work out. I feel like I'm "broken" somehow; like everyone else just intrinsically knows "how to live life", but for some reason, I just don't. I mean, shit; I'm 28 never kissed a girl/woman, never held hands. Hell, the only "date" I've ever been on was a few years ago, with some chick I met on tinder, and it was *painfully* awkward.

Meanwhile, my best friend makes life seem completely effortless. He's just instantly "good" at anything he does, he literally has women flirt with him anywhere he goes, despite being married, he actually *enjoys* being physically active, and whether it's younger fresh-out-of-college friends, or older, well-known politicians, everyone goes out of their way to include him and his wife.

Me, on the other hand, I've been trying to get together people for a Super Bowl party, and I've not even gotten one fucking response from any of the people I've texted or messaged.

I just... I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know that I'm whining right now, but I genuinely try to stay positive and upbeat, even when I'm having a rough day. People *seem* to enjoy being around me when they are, I've even been described as a "people person", but I just don't know how to make that deeper connection with people.

I feel lonely, and more and more, I feel like I'm just becoming a zombie. I can't seem to get "excited" about anything, I can't even summon the enthusiasm to get out of bed, and it just feels like I'm "going through motions". Literally just a few days ago, I got home from work at 6:30 and I went up to bed. I just laid there for hours; I thought about checking the time, but I couldn't even bring myself to look at my phone next to me, thinking "What's the point? The light will just make it take longer to fall asleep".

I can't help but think that maybe there's just something wrong with me. Maybe everyone else has some chemical in their brain that I don't, or maybe I have some sort of mental disability that everyone else is aware of but I just don't see. It just sucks to feel unwanted, in every way, by pretty much everyone.

I dunno. I'm just venting at this point. Take it for what you will.

Do you want me to say how a lot of the stuff you're saying probably isn't true or isn't the way you should look at things?

You obviously don't love your job.

You need to stop comparing yourself to others.

Who cares if people don't want to come to your place to watch the SB. Maybe someone has a bigger TV then you, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.



And you probably need to talk to a therapist, though writing it out on here was probably therapeutic in itself

[Ahovv]

Really telling someone with a real depression to get drunk?

It depends on the person. When I was severely depressed, alcohol cheered me up (as long as I had friends around).

[dwarven]

like everyone else just intrinsically knows "how to live life", but for some reason, I just don't.

They don't. They might try to pretend like they do, but they don't.

[falagar112]

Most people don't know how to live life - some are just better actors as others

Even the most pumped up womanizer on the planet might just be a little scared boy deep inside, never think you are the only one.

[Deleted]

Sounds like you need a career change, for one. Find something you are passionate about.

Stop comparing yourself to your friend, or anyone else for that matter. It will drive you insane for one and honestly you and your friend are not carbon copies of one another. You are probably talented in areas he isn't...also, it sounds to me like you are far more introverted than your friend. Nothing wrong with being introverted, but you probably need to recharge your batteries more than he does.

Socializing with others is a learned skill. The more you do it, the better you become at it (this is applicable to dating, as well). Make a point to try to reach out to people you care about more often, see what happens. Sometimes people are happy with interpersonal relationships as they are, whether you're close or not so close, so don't be surprised if people don't necessarily reciprocate at first. You can still continue to invite these people out to things, even if they're not always interested in hanging out, friendships ebb and flow and that means there's always a potential for them to deepen in the future. Expanding your social circle might be a good idea, too.

There's an old book called How to Win Friends and Influence People, might be worth a read for you.

A question if I may, is that book any good? Did you have a chance to read it?

- - - Updated - - -

You work in politics, but don't care about politics...yet you say "I'm working at a job I don't completely despise, something that could turn into a life-long career."
That in itself seems wrong to me.

Careers are about jobs you love to do. That's why they say that if you have a career you never work a day because you're doing something you love...

Yes, and it would be awesome if one could get a job they love. But, unfortunately that's not always the case.

Sometimes what you like doing either has no open positions anywhere, requires major experience in the field or is shit payed.
So you remain working a job you might not like. Because it's one that pays a reasonable amount of money for you to live. And, as time advances, you advance in that job, and as you do, it becomes even harder to switch to your dream job if you're not working it because, as you advance, you get payed more by getting more experience in that field you don't care much about. So switching to your dream job is even harder as you have to give up both money and at time in some situations (since you might work less at your current job than you are if you'd be doing your dream job + you need to use time to learn stuff to get in line with others for your dream job).
Unfortunately, if you're under an apathy curse, as the OP seems to be... this change becomes even harder.

There's also to take in mind that many people now reach adulthood not actually knowing what they truly like. This is because there's a big accent put on getting a job as early as possible to pay your taxes and debt for university (if you do one, if not for getting a house or car) that you enter the earlier mentioned loop.

It would be awesome if one could get a job they love... but unless you can afford to do it from the start, it's becoming harder and harder as time passes.

[falagar112]

A question if I may, is that book any good? Did you have a chance to read it?

- - - Updated - - -


Yes, and it would be awesome if one could get a job they love. But, unfortunately that's not always the case.

Sometimes what you like doing either has no open positions anywhere, requires major experience in the field or is shit payed.
So you remain working a job you might not like. Because it's one that pays a reasonable amount of money for you to live. And, as time advances, you advance in that job, and as you do, it becomes even harder to switch to your dream job if you're not working it because, as you advance, you get payed more by getting more experience in that field you don't care much about. So switching to your dream job is even harder as you have to give up both money and at time in some situations (since you might work less at your current job than you are if you'd be doing your dream job + you need to use time to learn stuff to get in line with others for your dream job).
Unfortunately, if you're under an apathy curse, as the OP seems to be... this change becomes even harder.

There's also to take in mind that many people now reach adulthood not actually knowing what they truly like. This is because there's a big accent put on getting a job as early as possible to pay your taxes and debt for university (if you do one, if not for getting a house or car) that you enter the earlier mentioned loop.

It would be awesome if one could get a job they love... but unless you can afford to do it from the start, it's becoming harder and harder as time passes.

While it is true that in some countries one must take what is on offer, regardless if you like it or not..

A lot of this has to do with status, too. Keeping up with your neighbors, your friends, and so on. You don't need *that* much money to have a good life, if you don't mind downsizing a bit, stop buying useless crap and not going in debt.

Debt is the tricky part, since in a lot of countries, getting the education to get the job that you do love, will cost you a lot of money. And is part of the reason that any real first world country should have a free education system, imo!

But point stands, stop chasing things that really won't make you a happier person - if you have to downsize and cut some shit out of your life, to take a smaller paycheck but actually love your job - you won at life.

You're right that it is especially hard for young people that have no idea what they actually enjoy doing, because society puts so many responsibilities on them early on, with student debts and having to choose what way to go at the age of 13 (in the Netherlands at least) - but again, the only solution to that is a free education system and a better education system in general I'm afraid.

[Deleted]

Sounds like you need to get laid.

[YourExWife]

Depression is an illness that has a very confusing effect on the one suffering from it. You can't defeat it alone, so find someone that can help you figure out the root cause. Also, as others have already pointed out, physical exhaustion will help keep you grounded.

One last thing - when it comes to seeking help, you may wish to make use of a gun. But, remember to be gentle, as they are human beings too.

[Shadowferal]

Depression is an illness that has a very confusing effect on the one suffering from it. You can't defeat it alone, so find someone that can help you figure out the root cause. Also, as others have already pointed out, physical exhaustion will help keep you grounded.

One last thing - when it comes to seeking help, you may wish to make use of a gun. But, remember to be gentle, as they are human beings too.

sonuvabitch, it's my ex-wife...


..o wait.

[lockedout]

Well, the past week has been pretty pretty rough.

This isn't your personal vlog.

[Hotmail]

Sounds like you need to get laid.

Seconded. We're on a fucking message board for MMORPG players, for christ's sake. Don't have to look very far to figure out the real problem.

[schwarzkopf]

When you have felt like that every day for 10 years OP as I have... that's a problem.

Feeling up and down and all over the place on a daily basis - that's called being human.

[crakerjack]

If it's depression then you'll likely need therapy an possibly medication. When I was 13, I decided I wouldn't let societies standards become mine. As a result, I don't have an overwhelming urge to be in a romantic relationship, to go out and party every weekend or do anything that society would expect out of me. I work, come home, weightlift and then play videos games until it's time to go to bed. I'm genuinely happy but people around me can't understand how. I ask them what I'm supposed to be doing and they suggest the usual society standards. Just find something you love that no one can take away from you and stick with it. For me that's my family/friends, weightlifting and video games.

- - - Updated - - -

You work in politics, but don't care about politics...yet you say "I'm working at a job I don't completely despise, something that could turn into a life-long career."
That in itself seems wrong to me.

Careers are about jobs you love to do. That's why they say that if you have a career you never work a day because you're doing something you love...

That quote is annoying. It's not true because we love certain things because we have the ability to choose when we want to do it. Once you're forced todo something regardless of whether or not you want to do it, it's only a matter of time before you no longer love it.

[Celista]

A question if I may, is that book any good? Did you have a chance to read it?

Yes! I think it's very good read, still applicable today. I'm rereading it at current.

I think it's the type of book everyone should read, it's essentially a classic at this point.

[Shadowferal]

That quote is annoying. It's not true because we love certain things because we have the ability to choose when we want to do it. Once you're forced todo something regardless of whether or not you want to do it, it's only a matter of time before you no longer love it.

"Forced to do something?"
Sounds like you're mis-interpreting what a hobby is. Which is what I am speaking of. I have literally spent days without any sleep going through old ancient historical tracts because it was something I loved to do, and still do. (It's amazing how much energy one has when you're doing what you love to do) Were I getting paid for it, I wouldn't have paid any attention to that paycheck for the simple reason that I was enjoying myself too much. That it was paying the bills was something I would have barely paid much attention to. That I wouldn't have had to worry about a "job" (since I would have a career) is all icing on the cake.

[jmessineo]

Can you private message me? It won't let me because I don't have 10 posts..