Millennial Trend: Diamond Engagement Rings Are No Longer Forever

[A dot Ham]

Get her a CD account... it will accrue interest and prove that you have priorities and a mind for the future. VS buying a rock that will never hold its value and will be worth 80% of its value the moment you purchase it.

Truth be told these 'colored' stones are far more rare than diamonds anyway... be unique... not a lemming.

You still have to ask the question why we bother at all? All of these stones can be created in a lab, and created to be far more vibrant, little to no impurities, and simply superior in just about every single way. Why we place value on a rock depending on whether it was dug up, or chemically grown somewhere... humans.

Here's an idea Ms. Huff Post... how about you start changing female minds to be more pragmatic. Just another one of those areas feminists are selective about taking issue on. Because if you take issue with it... it means... less diamonds for you... which most men are typically okay with.

[Logwyn]

*pfft rings are a temporary commitment. You can always take it off and throw it or loose it or pawn it.

If you really want to be committed tattoo rings!! Yeah you can get rid of it but its hard and you don't have to get it resized when midlife hits you and your waist line...

[Deleted]

I understand that not everyone wants a big wedding, and not everyone wants to get married, but you have to realise that some people value different things to you, right?

I mean, one good reason to get married is to avoid problems like if there are medical things and someone needs to make descisions (maybe you're incapacitated and can't), or maybe you're not having a child the traditional way and want to avoid a lot of drama with adoption etc. Or maybe some people value a formal afirmation of their commitment to each other, and their love etc. Or maybe people value tradition. Or maybe people just want to have a big fun party where everyone is invited.

As for inviting everyone... you might have strained relationships with your extended family, but not everyone does. Maybe some people actually like their extended family. maybe some people, even if they havn't seen their extended family in a while, wish to share an important day with them. Maybe some people enjoy hosting big events. Maybe some people don't get the chance to see friends and family who live a long way away often, and a wedding is a good excuse to get everyone in one place. Maybe some people value the traditions behind inviting everyone. Maybe some people just fucking want to, and don't need a reason for it, or don't have to explain their every action when it doesn't have any effect on you or anyone else who doesn't wish to come because their 5th cousin vera is coming over from cambodia for the wedding.

I can understand that people might value different things from me.

That being said:
-you can have an act to have a person decide for you even if you're not married.
-I already touched the child issue, the only reason why a marriage would make sense, and that's only because currently, at least in my country, only the mother is considered full parent if the parents are not married.
-again, if you truly love one another you don't need a formal act to testify that. You either love eachother or do not. An act won't change that.
Just as the previous comparison I made:
"I feel as if you truly love the other person, you wouldn't need a piece of paper to show you that. You might love the other person, but marriage... hmmm, I'll better explain it through a comparison:
Let's say you somehow managed to tame a wild extraordinary creature. Marriage would be like setting in a cage to make sure it never leaves you again. Not marrying would be like letting it roam free having trust in it that it loves you and it will return to you.

For me love means the second thing. Having faith in my beloved that no matter what, she will remain by my side out of her love and care for me, not because I trapped her in a marriage act like in a cage and she did the same to me. That, to me, would mean that neither of us trust the other enough that said other will remain by our side and we need this piece of paper to prove it. "

- tradition shouldn't matter as much. There is a tradition in some african countries to abandon certain children due to witches. There is a tradition to stone women in some countries.
A wedding, while not a violent or mean tradition, is still extremely expensive. You could use that money to build a home. To take a long wanted vacation for both. You could use it to feed some kids in Africa. There are so many things countless times more beneficial and more beautiful and more amazing that you could do except go in a restaurant with people you mostly don't care about to dance and eat. You can do that for your birthday. With the people you actually care about.

Yes, some people like their extended family. They can spend time with them on birthdays, holidays etc. They don't need to pay a huge sum of money for that.
I will admit that maybe some people enjoy big events.

And you'd be surprised, but actually weddings did have an effect on me. The fact that my mother and father got married allowed my father to ask for a part of a house that he had never payed for in instance when he and my mother divorced after he beat her when he got mad when drunk. If they had not been married, he could not have got anything. But he did.
Maybe I've met families where the couple don't divorce for the sole reason that one fears they would end up on the streets as they have no other place to live. Maybe I've met families where one of the two beat the other yet they didn't divorce because it was too costly. Maybe I've met people who, after the wedding, had very little money for anything else and, ironic enough, due to this they started fighting and arguing until they split. Actually no, there's no "maybe". All these things happened. To couples within my extended family or friends of family. Weddings and marriages create countless issues.

And maybe and maybe. Maybe people should care less about traditions and more about the other person. Maybe they should care less about a formal act and more about actually making the other person feel welcomed next to them. Maybe people should actually see the people they care about, not use a wedding as a pretext to do so. Maybe people should use the wedding money to build a house, travel, make a fund for their future children or donate to worthy causes.
Maybe I'm wrong. But this is my view on the world.


Oh, and maybe you shouldn't be so offended by what other people think. Just saying.

[Deleted]

I can understand that people might value different things from me.

That being said:
-you can have an act to have a person decide for you even if you're not married.
-I already touched the child issue, the only reason why a marriage would make sense, and that's only because currently, at least in my country, only the mother is considered full parent if the parents are not married.
-again, if you truly love one another you don't need a formal act to testify that. You either love eachother or do not. An act won't change that.
Just as the previous comparison I made:
"I feel as if you truly love the other person, you wouldn't need a piece of paper to show you that. You might love the other person, but marriage... hmmm, I'll better explain it through a comparison:
Let's say you somehow managed to tame a wild extraordinary creature. Marriage would be like setting in a cage to make sure it never leaves you again. Not marrying would be like letting it roam free having trust in it that it loves you and it will return to you.

For me love means the second thing. Having faith in my beloved that no matter what, she will remain by my side out of her love and care for me, not because I trapped her in a marriage act like in a cage and she did the same to me. That, to me, would mean that neither of us trust the other enough that said other will remain by our side and we need this piece of paper to prove it. "

- tradition shouldn't matter as much. There is a tradition in some african countries to abandon certain children due to witches. There is a tradition to stone women in some countries.
A wedding, while not a violent or mean tradition, is still extremely expensive. You could use that money to build a home. To take a long wanted vacation for both. You could use it to feed some kids in Africa. There are so many things countless times more beneficial and more beautiful and more amazing that you could do except go in a restaurant with people you mostly don't care about to dance and eat. You can do that for your birthday. With the people you actually care about.

Yes, some people like their extended family. They can spend time with them on birthdays, holidays etc. They don't need to pay a huge sum of money for that.
I will admit that maybe some people enjoy big events.

And you'd be surprised, but actually weddings did have an effect on me. The fact that my mother and father got married allowed my father to ask for a part of a house that he had never payed for in instance when he and my mother divorced after he beat her when he got mad when drunk. If they had not been married, he could not have got anything. But he did.
Maybe I've met families where the couple don't divorce for the sole reason that one fears they would end up on the streets as they have no other place to live. Maybe I've met families where one of the two beat the other yet they didn't divorce because it was too costly. Maybe I've met people who, after the wedding, had very little money for anything else and, ironic enough, due to this they started fighting and arguing until they split. Actually no, there's no "maybe". All these things happened. To couples within my extended family or friends of family. Weddings and marriages create countless issues.

And maybe and maybe. Maybe people should care less about traditions and more about the other person. Maybe they should care less about a formal act and more about actually making the other person feel welcomed next to them. Maybe people should actually see the people they care about, not use a wedding as a pretext to do so. Maybe people should use the wedding money to build a house, travel, make a fund for their future children or donate to worthy causes.
Maybe I'm wrong. But this is my view on the world.


Oh, and maybe you shouldn't be so offended by what other people think. Just saying.

I think you've got as much right to have "don't be so offended by what other people think" said at you as I do after that speech. Besides, I'm not offended by you're not being into weddings, that's fine, you do you. If you don't want a wedding, don't have one. If you don't like traditions, then don't get them involved. I don't like a lot of traditions either, a lot of gross stuff about ownership of people, stuff like the whole father of the bride "giving away" and stuff really grosses me out... But some people are into that, and if they want that at their own wedding, it's their money to spend on it.

[Spectral]

Its really cool that she paid half.

Yeah, I feel very fortunate. I don't care about the money all that much, but that impulse to pitch in and be equal is huge for me and speaks volumes about character.

[Kelathos]

Who has the money to burn on jewelry? Rather spend it on something useful.

[Spectral]

Get her a CD account... it will accrue interest and prove that you have priorities and a mind for the future. VS buying a rock that will never hold its value and will be worth 80% of its value the moment you purchase it. <snip>

Alternative view - $5K dumped into a CD is not likely to be worth much more than $5K in 10 years. Even invested more smartly with a typical return rate of ~7%, the expected value would be ~$7K. Barring some unlikely and catastrophic turn of events, it's quite unlikely that $7K will look like a relevant sum of money to my spouse and I 10 years down the road. Rings, on the other hand, of sentimental value that's pretty hard to calculate. We wear our rings every day, we have inscriptions on them that are personally meaningful, and so on. Does this require a pointlessly expensive stone? No, not really; mine is a simple titanium band. But is there a great harm in spending on the gleaming rock instead? Not really, unless you're low income or bad with money.

[Tulune]

Gemstones and jewelry are fun to collect. It's not a waste of money if it brings enjoyment. I prefer mineral specimen collecting, but I have a small gemstone collection as well.

[dextersmith]

I like diamonds and people here still appreciate their elegance and class.

[Vishy]

This is because millennials are broke.They're lazy and don't contribute anything but outrage to society.

Right....

[dextersmith]

great way to throw away money for nothing

Not at all. Men and women often ask about my accessories.

[Deleted]

Who has the money to burn on jewelry? Rather spend it on something useful.

I think adults are generally able to make their own decisions regarding what they consider useful or not. Jewellery can be very nice, and if you have money to spare I don't see why you shouldn't spend it on such if that is what you want/like.

[dextersmith]

Opals are gorgeous. Unfortunately they go to pieces when used in wedding rings, because they're soft. Same problem with Pearls, and, to a lesser extent, most other colored gemstones. The only colored gemstones that actually hold up well under the stress that is an engagement ring's lot in life are Diamonds, Rubies, and Sapphires.

Pearls aren't soft.

[Cthulhu 2020]

There are so many gems and jewels out there that are rarer and prettier than diamonds, some of which many people haven't even heard about. And I'm not talking rubies, sapphires,, lapis or anything else like those that are common.



That Pezzottaite. When polished into a gemstone, it has amazing 3D structures within it that a 2D image simply can't capture well. It's also definitively FAR rarer than diamonds, but is about half the price since nobody gives a fuck.

[dextersmith]

I got my wife white sapphire, no one can tell the difference. She actually prefers white sapphire over diamonds, so it wasn't just me being cheap, but the same ring and design my wife has with diamonds in it would have ran $4,000 more.

I know sapphires come in different colors but I didn't know of white. How are white sapphires different from diamonds? Visually or otherwise? Why does she prefer them?

[Blood Raven]

I agree with others in that I think there are far nicer looking gems to use for rings than diamonds. But I personally would rather invest my money elsewhere than in a pretty rock.

[dextersmith]

Diamonds were never "forever", that was just the advertising logo De'Beers used. So diamonds are not forever, and Taco Bell isn't Mmmm Mmmm Good(tm).

Diamonds are forever but marriage may not be.

[Tulune]

I know sapphires come in different colors but I didn't know of white. How are white sapphires different from diamonds? Visually or otherwise? Why does she prefer them?

White sapphires lack the brilliance, fire and scintillation of a diamond. Sapphires are more about the body color than sparkle.

[dextersmith]

That might be true. However, again, why should a "perfect" diamond cost so much more than a regular industrial one? What makes it so special? Size? There's industrial diamonds of that size. That it lacks impurities and microscopic cracks? Well I won't really be able to see most of those anyway, will I? So they don't really matter.

Those impurities and microscopic cracks all come into play with how it refracts light.

- - - Updated - - -

Who can afford to pay 2 months salary on a luxury item with no benefit? Maybe that was possible during the 80s. Rent being 35-40% of one's income, student debt another 10%, car payments, food, etc. Who has money left around for a ring? Especially when a wedding costs like 10k. It is ridiculous.

A 10k wedding is not expensive.

- - - Updated - - -

I disagree. I feel as if you truly love the other person, you wouldn't need a piece of paper to show you that. You might love the other person, but marriage... hmmm, I'll better explain it through a comparison:
Let's say you somehow managed to tame a wild extraordinary creature. Marriage would be like setting in a cage to make sure it never leaves you again. Not marrying would be like letting it roam free having trust in it that it loves you and it will return to you.

For me love means the second thing. Having faith in my beloved that no matter what, she will remain by my side out of her love and care for me, not because I trapped her in a marriage act like in a cage and she did the same to me. That, to me, would mean that neither of us trust the other enough that said other will remain by our side and we need this piece of paper to prove it.

But neither the cage of marriage nor freedom could stop her from sleeping around or ending things.

[derpkitteh]

the whole engagement ring thing was a scam perpetuated by companies anyway.

besides, emeralds and amethysts are so much prettier than any boring diamond. let diamonds be the work horses while the others are ornamental.