Do you believe in divorce, and do you become property of in your marriage?

[The King in Yellow]

Not if your parents are grown ups, ripping the band-aide off is just another way of saying it's all about me, which is often the view given by people thus far about their parents staying together when they should have gotten divorced.

Because it's all about them, not their parents who struggled for them to keep something together.

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You mean because I don't waste this time people go on about spending time with people I can't stand or don't know anything about?

I did shit like that, it was called the 90's and after coming to reason and logic about adult relationships of every kind, I recognized patterns and what was coming down the pike to avoid a lot of this bullshit because operated on assumptions and expectations of others.

Yeah if you didn't find a person who makes life worth living together over the long term vs short term misguided shit, yeah, it's probably not a good idea to say "I Do"

Yep because I totally did not like the person I spent all my time with totally, because I totally still don't spend time with her and totally wasn't a long term relationship oh wait.... Good heavens you are delusional. And by this point I am sure you are either drunk, or just trolling, but then again the believing people are property kinda gave that away, good night.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Yep because I totally did not like the person I spent all my time with totally, because I totally still don't spend time with her and totally wasn't a long term relationship oh wait.... Good heavens you are delusional. And by this point I am sure you are either drunk, or just trolling, but then again the believing people are property kinda gave that away, good night.

Look this is a thread not your confessional it isn't meant to be an outlet of where you personally went wrong with your marriage, I don't know anything about you, so I am not going to go into your personal relationship.

You addressed me about being superior and I told YOU about my personal past experiences, which aren't perfect, it just has to do with a different series of choices I made being of no reflect upon you, just on my view as to the serious nature of marriage and divorce.

So going back to the topic and what I said, Yeah most people treat marriage less serious than getting a tattoo, and it really doesn't matter what MY or YOUR personal experiences are unless there is a point to the topic.

Now if that is what you were doing, well then your failures isn't exactly IMO a ringing endorsement that people should take marriage less serious or divorce more.

I will say if you can't find ways to make a prudent argument without relying on childish bullshit, I think your problem over all has more to do with YOU than it does anything else.

Something I don't like is troll, isn't healthy or mature.

[Mormolyce]

How can two people both be each others' property?

There are limits to what you can do with your property that is called regulation.

But, yeah you get the more over point yes.

I think getting married is taken less serious than getting a tattoo.

Sounds like your problem is too many marriages rather than too many divorces.

[Doctor Amadeus]

[QUOTE=Mormolyce;47218348]How can two people both be each others' property?[/qoute]

In terms of marriage, both are responsible for the others physical, emotional and mental well being, the property of both is now combined, and both are required to fulfill for the others needs whenever possible.

Sounds like your problem is too many marriages rather than too many divorces.

Nah that is the carriage before the horse, if people thought more clearly about marriage there would be divorce, and consequently less marriages, but probably more long lasting, and substantial.

[Mormolyce]

Nah that is the carriage before the horse, if people thought more clearly about marriage there would be divorce, and consequently less marriages, but probably more long lasting, and substantial.

You're never going to convince love-sick people that getting married is a bad idea because they might not like each other in the future. They have stars in their eyes, they're not about to believe that now. So it's a terrible way to go about it.

[Doctor Amadeus]

This has nothing to do with belief. A marriage is a legal contract and divorce is how you end it.

Hahaha it does have to do with belief, this shit is hilarious, because marriage is a belief, they are facts. You aren't born married so you can't be born divorced it's an entirely made up concept based on belief.

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You're never going to convince love-sick people that getting married is a bad idea because they might not like each other in the future. They have stars in their eyes, they're not about to believe that now. So it's a terrible way to go about it.

Sure you can you can legally not recognize them and then they can call themselves whatever the hell they want.

[kasuke06]

pretty sure we had like a whole war over people being seen as property.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Getting married isn't about believing shit, it's a legal process. Just like divorce is.

Haha yes it is a legal process based on a law we made based on belief.

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pretty sure we had like a whole war over people being seen as property.

How did that turn out?

[Deleted]

I don't believe in marriage, so it's a bit odd for me to answer. But if your marriage is bad, I don't see why divorce shouldn't be an option.

[Deleted]

you don't become property, it's closer to becoming one (legal) person. property implies one is superior to the other. and you can't both be property at the same time. on the other hand being one legal entity confers all the benefits being property without the drawbacks.

as for divorce, if its easy to get married it should be easy to get divorced. if it's hard to get married it can be harder to get divorced.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Depends on who you ask. According to some on this very forum we never even fought that war.

Well then that sounds like a resounding success

[Rudkobing]

Do you believe in divorce, and do you become property of the other in your marriage?

Yes, people make mistakes and need a way to rectify that. No, I don't think you become property of the other. That's just a very odd way of putting it.

[Brubear]

Not if your parents are grown ups, ripping the band-aide off is just another way of saying it's all about me, which is often the view given by people thus far about their parents staying together when they should have gotten divorced.

Because it's all about them, not their parents who struggled for them to keep something together.

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You mean because I don't waste this time people go on about spending time with people I can't stand or don't know anything about?

I did shit like that, it was called the 90's and after coming to reason and logic about adult relationships of every kind, I recognized patterns and what was coming down the pike to avoid a lot of this bullshit because operated on assumptions and expectations of others.

Yeah if you didn't find a person who makes life worth living together over the long term vs short term misguided shit, yeah, it's probably not a good idea to say "I Do"

As someone whose parents were divorced, and knows lots of people whose parents are both separated (some amicably, some not), and one still together, everyone I've ever spoken to about this says that staying together for the kids is a terrible idea. In fact, the vast majority of children of divorce agree that it was the better alternative. Being able to recognize when it's just a rough patch, something you can work through, and when it's the fact that you're incompatible together, something that can't be worked through, is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Whether you have kids or not, staying together with someone who you're incompatible with will only make things worse for them.

As for your idea that when you become married you become that persons property shows a gross misunderstanding of both marriage laws and property laws. Wielding the power of attorney over someone doesn't make them you're property, because as long as someone is alive then they legally can't be property. If your child is in a coma you can't sell them on Craigslist for a new model. If your spouse develops Alzheimer's you can't sell them to a scrap heap and be done with it. Even if you abandon them, they simply then become either wards of the state or homeless, but they're not property.

But seeing as how you admit to having "cavemen views" regarding marriage, combined with your responses in this thread, I can see that trying to further this discussion is pointless.

[Progenitor Aquarius]

Marriage is mant to be for safety, to have family. It's a big responsibility to maintain that's why people shouldn't get married if they aren't ready. It's also very beautiful to stay with someone to the rest of your life, accept their flaws, take care of children, see them raise. Seeing an old couple walking on the street still holding hands, unfortunately it's such a rare view.

[therealstegblob]

But when you have kids, divorce becomes one of the most selfish things in existence, next to suicide. It tears apart families and has a negative impact one way or another on the kids.

This is a shallow way of viewing divorce and is actually a very poisonous mindset.

Staying together in a relationship where you have children even though the relationship isn't working out and neither adult can make it work is not a good alternative to divorce. It's unhealthy and generally bad for everyone and only grows more toxic over time. If you absolutely need to divorce, it's usually better to act like mature adults about it and divorce peacefully while putting the needs and wants of the children first.

[Deleted]

Stupid people should not have kids, and should not jump into marriage. This is that simple.

[Deleted]

Yeah your parents being immature, cost you, and that is sad, but if they stuck it out for you, shit at least they loved you enough to try.

I see your parents raised you right. Must be real proud of the mongrel they've raised.

[Beardless Man]

In this current day and age, marriage is such a rough topic. Because people do want to find -the one- perfect for them. They want to find someone they love and commit to that. However with this, we're seeing a huge influx of divorce for many reasons. The most coming from lack of money, and a lack of communication. Many of these divorces we're seeing come from people who never learned to talk it out. And we see a sharp increase of people divorcing. Regardless for children, money, or mere general unhappiness.

I only believe divorce is viable when a relationship is abusive, toxic, or proven to be un-salvageable by means of marriage counselling failing to aid. (And not a half-hearted attempt to get said counselling.)

[Doctor Amadeus]

I see your parents raised you right. Must be real proud of the mongrel they've raised.

Thanks I appreciate it, yeah probably.

[McTroll]

The first question is a division by zero for me simply because I don't believe in marriage to begin with.

And there is no union, and I mean NO UNION, that will negate my sense of self. No union that will make someone else "own" me. I'm not property, nor should any human being be. Anyone who's embracing this concept that humans can become property of another is a sociopathic control freak, no less!