The Best Game Ever

[MonsieuRoberts]

Modern shooters and RPGs can be lots of fun, but there’s things about them that are just plain awful: On-disc DLC, Pay-to-Win microtransactions, angry Xbox Live teens, the list goes on. But what if I told you there’s a game that has none of these problems and tons of benefits?

I’m talking of course about the most extreme game of all time, the BEST GAME EVER, and you can start playing with just a few simple words: One, two, three, four. I declare a Thumb War!

Thumb War has so many good things going for it:

• Free-to-play
• No downloads required
• No ads, DLC, microtransactions
• Most realistic graphics in the industry

On top of ALL of that, Prolonged Thumb Wars result in ITD (Increased Thumb Dexterity), aiding in activities such as snapping, flipping coins, texting super fast and more!

Statistics show that most people have at least ONE thumb, and many of you have TWO! You’ve got everything you need to play already! But if all of that is STILL not enough to convince you, we can get scientific:

Studies from a 2011 article from the Public Library of Science estimate that there are about 8.7 million different varieties of “greater beings” on earth. Of those 8.7 million, there are only about 10-12 groups that possess the oh-so coveted thumb, and fewer still who can make use of the all-powerful precision grip; Monkeys, Apes, and Humans. Only one of those is smart enough to engage in thumb wars. Can you guess which one? Yeah, it’s us.

We’re the only beings on the entire PLANET who are smart enough, brave enough, powerful enough to engage in intense Thumb Vs. Thumb combat. Any semi-intelligent mammal can bash someone over the head with a stick, but it takes real brains to wage a thumb war. The Thumb War is ours, YOURS to capitalize upon!

So, when someone gives you a thumbs up; Stop, Lock, and count to Four…

‘CAUSE IT’S TIME FOR A THUMB WAR!



Did I convince you?

[Arrashi]

Nah, its still barkley shut up and jam gaiden. Nothing beats diabetes arc.

[MonsieuRoberts]

Nah, its still barkley shut up and jam gaiden. Nothing beats diabetes arc.

Arrashi with the cold hard truth yet again.

[dope_danny]

I can't Chaos Dunk in a thumb war.

Would that i could.

[MonsieuRoberts]

I can't Chaos Dunk in a thumb war.

Would that i could.

You could bend the rules, they're yours to define.

[Deleted]

Nice read, thanks for this thread xD

[Jtbrig7390]

What.....?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿

[Selastan]

BUBSY 3D IS WHERE ITS AT, FOOLS!

Killer 3D graphics that are yet to be matched four console generations later.

A truly charismatic protagonist that eclipses Mario, Sonic, and even The Pokéman.

The greatest comedic narrative since Shakespeare.

Crafted by the great Accolade, whom need no further hype than their own name.

Revolutionary gameplay that is considered an unreachable goal by even the greatest of modern developers.

"We cancelled Half-Life 3 because, although it was a great game, a game greater than anything we have ever done before, it couldn't live up to Bubsy 3D. Its why we stay away from making third installments. Bubsy 3D was a third game to end all third games, and even our greatest works insult the number three" Gabe Newell

[anaxie]

YOU HAVE TO MAKE SHY GUY GO AROUND THE WHOLE ROOM!



FEEL THE BURN
VICTORY

[Deleted]

crash bandicoot

[Sangris]

I have many favorites, but if I had to name one, I'd say both Oddworld Abe games (Exoddus and Oddysee).

[Cosmic Janitor]

YOU HAVE TO MAKE SHY GUY GO AROUND THE WHOLE ROOM!



FEEL THE BURN
VICTORY

When our hands started to hurt we began using the leather binder of a notebook (one of these old school pocket calenders). When we finally cleared one of the damn rotate stages we noticed that the whole damn thing was shredded to pieces. Who ever game up with that garbage mechanic needs to hang from the next cherry tree.

[Dezerte]

Thumb wars is no mere simple "game". It is war, it is kill or be killed. Those of us who remember the great thumb wars of '99 will understand what I'm talking about.